Thankful

I really am thankful. I forget to say it, and really forget to think about it, but I am thankful. I have been given so much in this life and sometimes I should really reflect on that.

I am thankful for the person that my son is. Sometimes I worry about his development. I hear other moms brag about their child the same age as Handsome being able to ride a bike or read a book or recite the entire alphabet, and I think, why can't Handsome do that? But really, those things aren't nearly as important as the person that Handsome is becoming. Learning the alphabet will come in time and whenever we can actually afford a bicycle I'm sure he'll learn how to ride it like all the neighbor's kids. What I'm truly thankful for is the loving heart that Handsome has. That boy has shown true love from the time he was born. If he hears another baby crying, he will be truly concerned and want to go over to the baby and comfort them. If he sees a child at all younger than him he will go over and pat them on the back or give them a hug. He fears no one and loves everyone. He forgives in an instant. He will sit next to you on the couch, and cuddle in your arms and say, "I love you" without any prompt. He is unashamed of the love he feels for every person around him. He has a little car that he rides on and pretends that he is going to work or going to class and he yells, "Bye Mommy! I go class! Love you!" When he comes back into the room he'll give a big hug and a kiss and say, "I missed you!" One day DH was gone all day because of his school. Handsome didn't see him until 7pm - DH normally stays home with Handsome. When DH came home, Handsome was visibly miffed and said, "I missed you, Daddy." DH, who never cries, got a little choked up and felt terrible for being gone all day. Handsome loves to smile and laugh. The smallest joke will make him laugh so hard that he falls over. He is so filled with love and with joy. I am thankful for the blessing that he is in just being himself.

I am thankful for my second pregnancy. It's been hard this time. I've been sick for about 20 weeks. I've spent many hours in the bathroom and laying down. I must admit that I'm not a pregnancy loving girl. I love the baby and I love that I can be pregnant, but for me the most joyous moment comes when I see the beautiful baby that is the literal embodiment of the love between DH and I. I love seeing the intertwining of my life and my husband's life continue in a new being. All of the pain that my body must endure is nothing compared to the life that we help create. I am thankful for being able to be a mother. I am thankful that I am growing a healthy baby. I am thankful for the little kicks that I feel every day that are like a little secret between my baby and me.

I am thankful that I have a home to live in. I complain constantly about the fact that the value of our house has dropped so low, so fast. I would like the ability to sell it and move closer to family. I realize though, that some people don't have a home to call their own. I do have a home. My son has his own bed to sleep in. I am thankful for a stable roof over our heads.

I am thankful for my job. This one is a kicker. I complain about my job a lot. In the end though, I have a job. The economy right now is not the greatest and many people do not have jobs. I have a job that pays my bills and allows me to travel to see my family. I have a job that I don't have to worry about losing. I have a job that allows me to work a flexible schedule and take care of my son and let my husband attend college full time. I am thankful for the job that I have.

I am thankful for my husband. I can't believe how God has blessed me with DH. He is kind, self-sacrificing, and most of all, he loves me for who I am. He has crossed over the boundaries of the culture that he was raised in and is able to compromise with me to make our family work. Not many people can do that. He stays home with Handsome as a stay at home dad when many men from my own culture would not be willing to do that. When I'm having a bad day - or a bad month - he brings me flowers and writes notes that bring tears to my eyes. He always knows how to make me smile. And did I mention he was incredibly hot? ;)

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I will be spending the day with DH, Handsome, the baby in my belly, and two close friends. Thank You Lord for the gifts You have given me and my family.

And then there were two...

So I think I've pretty much told everyone, so I can start to talk about it here. We're pregnant! Yay! We are due just before Easter next year. This pg has been much more difficult than the last one was. I've been consistently sick since maybe week 6. I'm slowly starting to get energy back and my stomach is slowly getting better.

Ok, gotta go bathe the boy.

Potty Training

We started potty training a few weeks ago. He has done really well! I should have been giving updates along the way because I know we'll eventually be going through this again and it's a landmark sort of development, but I've just been so busy that I've completely let this blog go stale. Boo.

Anyway, yesterday he asked to pee in the potty while we were at Best Buy and he actually peed in the potty! I'm so proud of my little boy.

The only thing we are behind on is the pooping in the potty. He will have nothing to do with that. After a couple mistakes on the first couple days of potty training he has been consistently holding it and going when he is waking up from a nap (we still put a diaper on him for sleeping).

My little lion

As I sit here on the computer, Handsome is sitting in his Daddy's lap wearing his lion costume that we got for him this weekend. To say he loves that costume would be an understatement. He picked it out at the store and carried it around all day once we got home. Today we put it on him in the morning and he roared and played with the little paws. He must keep the hat part on too. It is a must. This morning after we put it on he had to call Grandma and Granddad on the computer (Skype) so that he could show them his costume. So I forgot about the time difference and called and woke them up. They still got up to come to the computer and see him and Handsome roared his best roar and loved every minute of the extra attention. Tonight when he put it on again, we had to call Grandma and Granddad yet again.

Yesterday we went to a bounce party. DH even came so that I wouldn't have to climb everything and bounce with Handsome. Handsome had a blast! On the way to the party the whole time he was saying, "See Carter! See Sam!" Those are his best friends. The whole time we were there he would have to know where his friends were. Then he would see them and seemingly forget about them until he lost where they were again. Friendship among two year olds (or nearly two year olds) is an odd phenomenon.

I wish I had brought a camera to the bounce party. With DH there I finally would have had an opportunity to take pics, but unfortunately I completely forgot. Owen was actually big enough to climb some of the slides all by himself. He had to have encouragement, but he would get up to the top and start laughing with pride. He also found two horses to play on. One was like a bouncy ball in the shape of a horse that he could jump on. He found a green one and was rather attached for a while. Even if he wasn't sitting on it, he didn't want anyone else to sit on it either. Then he found a different horse that I'm not even sure I can explain on here. I've never really seen anything like it. It was a fuzzy horse with wheels on the bottom. If he jumped up and down while sitting on it, it moved almost like a caterpillar moves. He was on that thing forever. We'd just have to redirect him when he got too close to a wall or a baby crawling by.

And then there was the food afterward. He rarely gets sweets in our house - interpret rarely as never. He got a cupcake a the bounce party and the little boy was in heaven. They stacked the odds against him however as they put more frosting on the top than there was cake at the bottom. By the end of it his face was covered in frosting. He did pretty good at not putting it all over his shirt though.

Juice Tantrum

Last night after Handsome woke up from his nap we told him he couldn't have juice. O.M.G. You would have thought it was the end of the world. He through the longest my exasperated tantrum I've ever seen him throw. Nothing could distract him from his utter desperation for juice. Around the middle of his tantrum he threw a wooden spoon at the refrigerator. That got him into time-out for two minutes. Ironically he was quiet for the entire time he was in time-out. As soon as he was let out of time-out, the tantrum returned.

Finally (after maybe 30min? I didn't actually time it so it could have been like 10 min) he spotted a banana on the counter and asked for the banana. I said ok and gave him the banana and picked him up and walked to the living room with him. He sat in my lap with red eyes and wet cheeks and quietly ate his banana. He only got upset when I pulled out the last of the banana from the peel. He apparently wanted it to remain in the peel, but magically wanted more space to hold onto the banana underneath. No can do, so I just removed it. In retaliation he acted as if he was going to eat the peel. (Now picture me trying not to laugh at my toddler trying to assert himself.)

This all stems from the fact that he is just getting over a cold. When he has a cold I like to give him as much juice (watered down) as he wants so that he can get enough fluids in him. Now that he is getting better, I don't want him to drink quite as much juice so I get tantrums since he is used to getting juice whenever he wants. The tantrums usually don't last too long though.

1, 2, 3, 4, 3!!!

We have a little counting book that is really for infants, but Handsome thinks it's funny so we go over it every night. It has five pages and counts - obviously - from one to five. I usually just say the numbers and let him repeat after me, but last week I decided to see if he knew any of them, so I just pointed and waited to see if he said the numbers, and HE DID!!! He went all the way from one to five!!! The following night I brought the book downstairs so that Handsome could show off to DH and he got all the numbers right again! And then I decided to record it for my parents to see, and this is what I got, "1, 2, 3, 4, 3!!!" Over and over again. He thought it was pretty funny. Stubborn child.

Are you ever afraid you won't be able to keep up with your child? Handsome can run. And I mean really run. If he takes off, I can catch up with him, but it takes me a little while. I'm afraid in a year or so that if he gets it in his mind to run, then I won't be able to catch him.

Colorful language

I sure am glad I don't really cuss.

Last night I was giving Handsome his bath and my band-aid apparently fell off in the water. I had what I thought was an infected cut so I obviously didn't want Handsome exposed. Handsome pointed to the band-aid and asked, "That?" I was surprised and without thinking said, "Oh, crap!" Then I hear, Handsome, "Oh, Cap!" Maybe people will think he's talking about a hat.

I told the Cap story to DH after I put Handsome to bed, and he laughed and said earlier that day he said, "Holy, Moly!" to something that upset him, and Handsome responded with, "Holy, Moe!" So DH told Handsome, "Hey, dude, don't do that!" Handsome: "Hey, dude!" Right after DH told me this story, we hear on the monitor, "Hey dude!" And then Handsome cracks up at his own joke. LOL.

Toothbrush

Oh the teeth. Handsome hates having his teeth brushed. He loves to get toothpaste on the brush and then suck on the toothbrush, and he'll kinda move it around when I ask him to actually brush his teeth. But to brush to the point that he would end up with clean teeth? Not gonna happen. Then if DH or I take the brush and try to brush his teeth he cries like it's the end of the world. I have no idea why it's so tragic for him.

So what is my solution? I wimp out. Terrible, right? I tried to give the task to DH to do in the morning when I'm at work. Does DH do it? No. Do I then brush Handsome's teeth after I give him his bath at night? .... Well .... Sometimes. Once I start, I'll finish, but I tend to conveniently forget. I'm a terrible mother, I know.

He also seems to be in the middle of getting his molars. At least that doesn't seem to bother him.

My aching back

Yesterday I sat in the middle of the living room while Handsome would get a running start and jump on my back - repeatedly.

Apparently DH and Handsome do this a lot. One of the times he ran into me, he grabbed my hair. Ouch! I said as much, so Handsome asked, "Are you ok?" I was prepared to say yes, but DH said, "No, you hurt Mommy."

So Handsome walked over to me and gently kissed my back - repeatedly. :)

He sings!!

Every night I sing Twinkle Twinkle to Handsome. He sings with me but rarely gets the words in the right spot or the notes right. I think it's adorable though and we both laugh through the whole song.

Many nights before I start Handsome's bath and bedtime routine, we play La-La-Lullaby. It's on PBS Sprout:

http://www.sproutonline.com/sprout/videos/detail.aspx?program=pajanimals&subset=By_Show
(search for the La La Lullaby)

Sometimes he sits quietly and watches. Sometimes he runs around the room trying to get out the last of his energy. Many - most - times he looks at DH and I and makes sure that we are singing along, because, well, it's a requirement. It's one of the few times DH actually sings along to one of Handsome's songs and Handsome is well aware that this is his one opportunity for DH to sing for him.

So last night? Last night he sat between DH and I and sang the whole song with us!!!!!! He got almost every word in the refrain and was even getting the majority of the notes right!! He stared DH in the face for almost the entire song, seeming to make sure that they were both singing the song together. DH could barely compose himself enough to sing the song because he was so shocked that Handsome all of the sudden could sing the whole song and knew all the words. I was a little more prepared because of our nightly Twinkle routine, but DH had never heard Handsome sing quite like this. Honestly my mouth was just as wide in surprise, but Handsome wasn't staring at me so it was easier for me.

DH gave Handsome a huge hug afterwards and was so proud of him. He said he was going to call his father today to brag on Handsome. He declared that since this showed how grown up Handsome is, his father would reply with, "So when are you having the next one?" Great. No pressure. Really.

Handsome surprises me everyday.

I love my little boy

Handsome is growing so quickly. He's talking in little sentences and throwing balls and learning new things every day.

Yesterday he kept putting himself in time-out when he did something he knew he shouldn't. He accidentally knocked out the screen in the front window and turned to me with terror in his face and started to cry because he knew he wasn't supposed to touch the screen. I felt terrible putting him in time out for that one, but I think he would have felt worse if I didn't.

Lately he's also just told DH or I that he was "sleepy" and started up the stairs to his room on his own for nap or bedtime.

He can now say, "I love you, Mommy." or "I love you, Daddy" and it's the sweetest sound I've ever heard.

He says "sorry" when he does something wrong, "Please" when he's asking for something and "thank you" when he gets something he wanted. I remember watching friends struggle to get their kids to use manners so this makes me SOO happy. It may be because of my friends' struggle that it happened so easily with Handsome because I put such an emphasis on it after seeing their struggle. We went to buy new clothes for him this weekend and he said "thank you" to the woman working at the counter when she gave his hat back to him. She was so surprised that he said thank you that she brought over her coworker so that he could say it again when she gave him stickers. She asked if she could take him home, and Handsome said "no." LOL I think part of the surprise is that Handsome is still relatively small for his age so he looks younger.

I bought a hat for him this weekend. It's too cute! He used to love wearing his warm hat in the winter, but hasn't had anything since then. As soon as I found it at the store for him, he put it on his head and didn't take it off until bath time that night. He loves hats! I think he mostly loves the reactions he gets when he wears hats. I dote on him as do random passersby. I tried to take pictures, but consistently got the back of his head. He apparently has to be in the mood to have his picture taken.

We didn't go to fireworks this weekend, but on Sunday we watched the neighbors play with the tiny kind you can light in the street. After Handsome got over my over excitement, he enjoyed them too and we sat and ate our beans by the window as we watched the fireworks (this is when he accidentally knocked out the screen).

Handsome apparently scars like DH. He had two mosquito bites on his leg a while back and he scratched the bejeezers out of them and now he has scars all up and down the side of his leg. It's been at least a month or two, so we'll see if/when those fade away.

He also is sporting a farmer's tan right now. His face and the back of his neck are really tan, as is the lower half of his biceps down to his hands. His feet have tan lines in the shape of his sandals. His belly, however, is white.

We taught him the difference between a green light and a red light, so when we're in the car, he has to tell us when the light turns green: "Green! Go! Green! Thank you, green! Yay!! Green." *clap, clap* And when it turns red: "Go? Stop. Green? Ok." *pout* I fear for when he is old enough to drive. Maybe I'll buy him a car that can't go above 50mph. I'll sleep better at night that way.

He loves to kiss boo-boos. If he falls, he'll kiss whatever hurts. If DH or I knock a toe into a corner, he'll be kissing our toes for the rest of the night and asking if it's ok.

He loves group hugs. If he sees DH and I hugging each other he insists on being picked up and hugging both of us at the same time.

He has also taken to randomly, and purposefully, falling off the couches and chairs. He thinks it's funny to fall on his head.

He asks to play with the bubbles so that he can go outside, but once outside he could care less about those bubbles. He'd much rather play in the dirt or yell at the dog next door.

He dances at any and everything. He loves to shake his little booty to any song he hears. When the song ends, he puts a pitiful look on his face, raises his shoulders, puts his hands out to the side and says, "Music? Music finished?"

He's learning the hand motions for the Itsy Bitsy Spider. He gets frustrated when he can't do the spider part and cries until I move his fingers the right way. Let me just say that it's hard to do that backwards.

When DH is bringing in the groceries, Handsome will hold the glass door open for him. He also likes to carry the bags when we're at the store. He watches DH lift weights, so he likes to lift the 5 pound weights and say at the same time, "Up, down, up, down." He thinks it's hilarious.

He is still sucking his thumb ALL the time. If you tell him to take it out of his mouth, he will, but two seconds later he puts it back in his mouth. He's an equal opportunity thumb sucker, so either thumb will do. I think it's adorable, but I also don't want him hurting his teeth because of it.

I love that little boy more than I than I thought I was capable of.

Two days of no sickness!

For the past couple days I've actually woken up and not been sick! It's been splendid. I'd almost forgotten what it was like to be semi-healthy.

So if you were counting, it was more than a month of stomach/intestinal issues. It was no fun.

And the bill from the ER? Also not fun. I even have good insurance, so I can't imagine how hard it must be to pay an ER bill without good insurance. And I now have what seems to be permanent nerve damage in my hand from where the nurse tried to take my blood. If you rub the back of my hand, I feel tingling in my finger. And lucky me gets to pay the hospital for it.

Irony

So after my last post I went back through old emails. It's amazing what I've managed to forget. Now that I am wanting only to be taken care of I find my rants about people taking care of me. I changed the names, but here is an excerpt from an old email correspondance complaining about a guy who just wanted to protect me:

Me:

Ok, maybe he's trying to protect me, maybe he's trying to protect himself.
I don't know. No, things would not be easy, but I don't want someone
telling me lies just to make me feel better. Tell me the truth and I will
deal with it. And don't try to sheild me or shelter me. Let me make
my own decisions for once. Everyone seems to be trying to keep me
safe. They try to keep me from seeing things that I may be too naive, or
too sheltered to comprehend. If people keep doing this, then someday they
won't be there and the world is going to hit me full force. For once, let
me decide for myself whether or not I should see or experience things. How
can I grow and mature in any way if people keep holding my hand to cross the
street? Perhaps this is a slight tangent, but it ties in. Part of
the reason Jack walked away was b/c he thought I was "too good" for him and he
didn't want to stand in my way. You know what, stop. Let me decide
who I want to stand in my way. Let me decide who I think is good for
me. Arg. At least in Africa I will truly be on my own. I will
be allowed to face the difficult situations and I will finally see where I fall
and where I rise.

Male friend:

Protection... Ever since I've known you, people have been protecting you,
it seems like. But then again, you were always younger than the rest of
us, so maybe that was part of it. The same reason Jack was afraid to date
you is the same reason I've questioned my relationship with Jane. I mean,
she's so driven, motivated, and sets such high goals. I just never want to
stand in her way, and I've got such a spotted past, it doesn't compare to the
person that she is. But on the same token, she makes me want to be a
better person, I want to be more like her.

So the very protection that I want today is the protection that I wanted to be rid of seven or eight years ago.

The mess that is me

Somewhere something went awry. I don't know what, but I must have done something wrong. No, there is nothing tragic, everything is still mostly coasting along, but things just keep happening one after the other.

First of all I've been sick. I've had the stomach flu for almost two weeks now. It has beaten me to the ground. I have been depleted of all energy and all motivation. It has me fearing TTC'ing at all. What if I got sick like this again? I am the only income that we have right now. I am the only person who brings in health insurance. Just the thought of being pg makes me nauseous. It's terribly irrational since my pg with Handsome was perfectly fine, and yet I fear the unknown.

And then the past got drudged up recently. Nothing big, but apparently there are issues that I never dealt with. I don't like that feeling. That feeling of not completely having a handle on things. I've been running away from it for years and yet it keeps randomly coming back. It shouldn't affect me like this.

When I'm sick I'm not a nice person. Poor DH has gotten the worst of it. Problem is that DH handles it by not saying anything and waiting for the storm to pass, and I just want to stand in the rain until the clouds are empty. I may be drenched at the end, but I know exactly when the storm has blown away.

Right now I just want to be taken care of. I want to be held and rocked and soothed until I forget about all the problems that surround me. I want to be absolved of all responsibilities and to let go of every worry and every anxiety. I want to know the future and know the reasons for what happened in the past. I want the scars to disappear.

I almost feel like this may be the calm before the storm. I can only paddle upriver for so long.

Ironically? Work is going great.

Please, Lord, be with my family and I. Keep us healthy, safe, and content. Please guide my decisions in the direction they are meant to go. Please hold my hand and guide me on the right path. Please calm the waters and heal the heart. I love You.

My favorite sounds

Things that I love that Handsome says:

"Hold you!" - When he wants to be held, he holds up his hands and says, "Hold You!" Adorable

"Bubbles!" - When he says bubbles, he sticks out his little lips like he's going to kiss you.

"Thank you!" - When he gets his milk or whatever he wanted he always says thank you.

"You're welcome!" - When we say you're welcome he has to repeat it.

"Please!" - If his first request doesn't work, he starts in with the please...

"Mommy!" - He finally started regularly saying mommy a couple weeks ago. It sounds a little like mimi, but I'll take it.

"Night Night!" - He knows when it's bedtime.

"La la" - We watch La La Lullaby on Sprout at night. Not every night, but enough to where he knows when it's coming and says la la.

"I fall!" - He says this when pointing to his most recent wound, but also whenever he falls... which happens often.

"I got you!" - He got this from a game that he and DH play. He'll come up and grab you and say I got you.

"Kiss!" - When he wants a kiss he'll ask for it.

"Music!" - He takes after his father and always wants music playing.

Two Year Check-up

Handsome had a check-up today. He's in the 60% for weight (29 lbs) and 35% for height (33in) and his head is 95%.

Remember his vocabulary that was so behind and we had to go to extra doctor's appointments because of it? She said today that he is actually now advanced in his language. Yay!! She said he is very expressive. Yay! The other day I was reading a book that Handsome didn't want so he got out of my lap and walked around to get the book he wanted. When he came back he held the book out to me and said, "I got a book!" I even asked him to repeat himself a couple times cause I couldn't believe it. He's got over 100 words, but most of his words are in English and DH isn't too pleased with that.

And because I don't want to write again:

Handsome fell last night. About 20 min after I got home I took him downstairs so he could play on his new slide, but instead he chased after his ball and tripped and fell and hit the corner of the wall squarely on his little lip. It cut it right open. The blood was just pouring out and it scared the crap out of me. I picked him up and carried him upstairs so that I could get a towel and apply pressure. Then I left DH to continue with the towel so that I could call the pediatrician and ask if we should go to the ER. He said yes, so we got our stuff together and headed to the hospital. By the time we got into the car his bleeding had mostly stopped and his crying had mostly stopped. He was a little sad because I made him leave his bubbles (which is what we used to get his mind off his lip), but he just sat in the car and sucked his thumb like nothing had happened.

Of course we sat at the ER forever. It took about four hours for him to get two little stitches in his lip. They did well with the stitches though so I'm glad we drove to the hospital that the ped recommended (30 min instead of the hospital that is 5 min away). DH stayed with Handsome while he was getting his stitches, but the nurses didn't let me stay. They "strongly encouraged" me to wait in the next room because they had too many mothers faint and get sick while watching their children get stitches. I heard him screaming in the next room, and was pretty glad I left. I knew DH was there and that made me feel better. When they finished they brought him out to me and his little face was all red and the tears had left their little salt pathways down his cheeks. He said Mommy like he had been broken and put his arms out for me to hold him. Oh, my poor baby.

And me, under pressure? TERRIBLE! After I put the compress on his little lip, DH took over, and I went to call the ped... I had to go stand outside. I got all sweaty and felt faint. I had to sit in the fresh air or I know I would have passed out. How terrible is that?! I never used to be like this. I loved watching the Health channel and people going through surgeries and I would be the calm one with other people's children. I don't know if I've lost my edge or if it's just really that different when it's your own child.

Anyway, DH is letting him sleep in late today since he needs to heal and he didn't get to bed till after midnight. When he gets up, DH is letting him watch as much Caillou as he wants so that there is at least one day with no running and risking hitting that lip again.

OH Lord, either make me stronger or give me fewer injuries to deal with... and I prefer the fewer injuries option.

When Handsome wakes up from a nap or something touches his lip, he points to his lip and says, "I fall!" It's heartbreaking.

So the day after Handsome turned two, he got a tick under his arm that DH had to pull out and I took to the doctor to make sure we didn't have to worry about lyme disease. The next day Handsome fell and busted his lip and needed stitches. The day after that he broke the bottom stitch and opened up the wound again. ... Can we go back to 1 again??

Twinkle, Twinkle...

Handsome's favorite channel is PBS Sprout. He pretty much loves everything about the channel - including the Verizon commercial where the phone is also a calculator ("Phone?"), and the potty dance commercial where he dances along with them. He picks up the oddest things.

He likes the Play With Me Sesame show. The main characters are Grover, Ernie, Bert, Cookie Monster, and Prairie somethin-or-other. Occasionally Elmo makes an appearance, and I tell Handsome who Elmo is, but he didn't seem to pay attention. Then we went to Target the other day and I hear "ELMO!!" coming from my cart. He spotted Elmo and was SOO excited. I don't get it. He has Ernie and Cookie Monster at home, but they are apparently not on the same level as Elmo.

He also loves the Goodnight Show with Nina and Star. He gets so excited when he sees them. He even practices the sign language they teach and stretches when Nina is teaching yoga.

But the reason I mention Sprout, is they sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star every night. He LOVES it. I started singing it to him and he just wants me to sing it over and over and... well, you get the point. So last night before I put him to bed we knelt down and prayed, as always, and he says, "Amen. Amen." Then I sang Jesus Loves Me, as I sing every night to him. While I was singing Jesus Loves Me, I hear him singing "Tinka, Tinka, eh eh ah..." Apparently he's trying to hint to me to change my song. I put him to bed, and after I leave the room I hear on the monitor, "Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen...." And then after he has been in bed and quiet for lets say an hour, we hear on the monitor, "Tinka, Tinka, eh eh ah..." And then, after another hour or so of quiet, "Tinka, Tinka, eh eh ah..." Each time DH and I would crack up laughing which was loud enough for Handsome to hear so he would start laughing too.

I love that little boy. He makes me so happy.

Updates

Wow, my poor neglected blog. I've had zero time to update this blog lately. So much has happened and now I feel like I've missed documenting most of it because I haven't written anything here. I do have pictures of most of everything, so at least there is that.

Handsome's language is doing MUCH better. He's got around 70 words that we can think of and he is learning something new everyday. About 60 of those words that we've written down are English and I know he has more Dagaare that DH just isn't remembering. He is even starting to put a couple words together to make the beginnings of sentences.

He has also gotten rid of a lot of his shyness. He'll give random people "fives" and even hugs. He's even playing with other little kids more. We went to a little Soccer Tot meetup and he found this one little boy that he decided was going to be his best friend. He kept following the little boy around and putting his hand on the boys shoulder. He kept wanting to hug him, but the other boy - who was three months younger than Handsome - wasn't too sure about it all. He did give Handsome a hug or two at his mother's request, but he just didn't want to share so much of his personal space. The funny thing is, about five minutes before Handsome started chasing him around, the other boy was watching Handsome and doing everything Handsome did but with about a 3 second delay so that Handsome didn't see that he was copying him. Too funny!

DH's school is not going quite as planned. We've had to delay everything by about a year and that has been really stressful. We are working through it and I know in the end everything will work out, it is just hard right now.

Handsome turns two in a month. *sniff, sniff* My little boy is growing up so fast! We bought him a slide for his birthday which I know he'll love. He's all about the slide on the playground. I have invited friends over to our house to celebrate. We thought about reserving a park bench somewhere, but found out that would be about $100, which seems outrageous to me, so we are stuffing as many people as we can into our tiny house. So far we have about 10 of Handsome's little friends coming and hopefully he'll be excited about them coming and not freak out about the number of people in his normally quiet and calm house. Singing Happy Birthday to him could be traumatic having that many eyes on him, but we'll see how he does. I wish my family and DH's family could be here, but it's just not possible right now. Maybe next year we'll go to either Texas or Ghana for his birthday. (Just dreaming here, folks. There is no way we could afford Ghana and DH will only have one week between semesters in school) I just hope Handsome actually gets to know, and can be close to, more of his family than DH and I.

I'll try to update more often, but I'm not optimistic. Work keeps getting busier and DH hogs the computer. ;)

Baby Chef

Ok, quick updates because I have been slacking in keeping up my blog. Handsome will pick up books now and start talking pretending like he is reading it. And a couple weeks ago I made brownies and let Handsome do all the stirring. He did a really good job! I was expecting to have to clean the whole kitchen, but he did well.

DH has had a rough time lately. His classes didn't go so well. We're in the process of figuring out what to do next.

The banana song

So I took Handsome to the post office and then to the grocery store this morning. I had to return the faulty dvr and then get bananas and diapers. We haven't had bananas in a few weeks because the last time I went to the grocery store they were out of bananas. What grocery store completely runs out of bananas? Anyway, he keeps pointing to the counter and asking, "Nana? Nana?" When I say we don't have any the fits begin. And, well, bananas are healthy, so I decided to make a special trip to get them.

When the bananas were in the cart he kept trying to reach back and get them. When we got into the car I told him he would get a banana as soon as we got home, so for the drive home he started singing "Nana nana nana" He made up his own little jig and it was the cutest thing I've heard! He's done the repeating thing, but this one was an actual song! Each "nana" had different notes and different loudness. My little singer. :)

Animal sounds

Ok, this may be late for most kids, but with Handsome we are just getting here. Handsome knows animal sounds now and will actually say them!! It has taken forever, but he is finally starting to parrot sounds and try to speak. I think we are in the whole "word explosion" that people talk about.

What does a cow say?
"Cah?"
Yes, what does a cow say?
"MBooo!"
Teehee.

What does a sheep say?
"Ba-a-a-a" (he even does the pauses)
Teehee.

What does a dog say?
"Dah?"
Yes, what does a dog say?
"Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff.." (in rapid succession)
Teehee.

What does a cat say?
"Caa?"
Yes, what does a cat say?
"meow meow" (and then he laughs)
Teehee.

What does a duck say?
"Duh?"
Yes, what does a duck say?
"Cack!"
Teehee.

What does the monkey say?
"Who-who-who-who"
Teehee.

What does a pig say?
"AAAHHHH"
Hahahaha. I don't know why the pig just screams.

Focus on me

I've let myself go. It's not a pretty picture. I don't wear makeup anymore. Half the time I don't put my contacts in - and I have HUGE glasses. I never lost the weight I gained from being pregnant so my clothes don't fit right. I bulge in all the wrong places. Gross, right? Well that's how I feel. I eat terribly and I never exercise. It's so hard to get the motivation to take care of myself when married and taking care of a toddler.

I have to lose what I've gained by August. That's my goal. I feel like total and utter crap. I have to fix that. I need to feel better both physically and emotionally.

So how do I reach this goal? How do I lose the weight and get healthy? Should I join the gym which is cheaper in the short run, but only for me and DH gets no benefit... well, no direct benefit. Or do I buy exercise equipment that is much more expensive in the short run, could be used by DH, and could just sit unused and gather dust? Should I try to do something like weight watchers or do I just count calories on my own? If you know me, you know I'm terrible at spending money. I hate it. I never know if I've made the right decision.

For Lent this year, I promised God that I would take better care of the body that he has given to me. I'm not even a week into the season and I'm already having difficulties with it. Sad, right?

I need an exercise buddy. I need there to be a woman that lives down the street that is in my situation and will exercise with me and motivate me to take better care of myself. If I lived in TX I would have friends that would do all of this with me. Too bad I live miles away.

So this is my starting point. I have to move forward starting now. I can't continue to go backwards.

Handsome and I have an appointment tonight with exercise. I do pushups with him climbing on my back and situps with him on my legs or on my belly. I do squats I have to make sure I don't sit on him.... and he thinks it's hilarious... for a while. He gets frustrated with me not paying attention to him after about 10 minutes. When I count out loud and play cartoons I can usually make it to 20 min without a meltdown.

Feeling left out

Do you ever have those days? Those days where you feel left out? Like your friends don't seem to be as close to you as you thought they were? I've had several different groups of friends lately getting together without me there. It hurts. If it just happened once with one group of friends it wouldn't hurt so bad. But lately I can count at least four different groups, and it's getting to the point where I can't brush it off any more. It hurts. I know I'm mostly to blame as I don't have the car because DH has to go to school and where ever I go I pretty much have to take Handsome with me. But now I'm starting to wonder if it is more than that. Maybe it's just me. Maybe my personality has gone sour or maybe I just smell bad. So would anyone care to tell me why I suck?

Go Handsome, Go Handsome, Go Handsome

So we went to the doctor today for his check-up. He weighted 27.7 pounds, and was 33 inches tall. Do you know what that means?!?! He is basically 50% for both height and weight!!! YAY!!! Height and weight match!! We told the doctor he knows between 15 and 20 words, and she said that he was just fine and right on schedule!! YAY!!!

Only bad part about the appointment? I was holding him so he wouldn't cry as much and he peed on me and my pants!! I had to go to work right after the appointment and I didn't bring an extra pair of pants for either me or him. So he went into the car sans pants and I prayed my pants dried quickly.

Oh, and there was this child who was three who came in after us. He was hysterical crying and wanting to leave. He had his pacifier in his mouth and was yelling at his mother to leave, that the doctor was going to hurt him. This boy looked more like he was five and he was pretty strong. She had to pick him up and leave her bag to take him back when the nurse came to get him. Wow. I really hope Handsome never fears the doctor THAT much. Handsome cries when the doctor starts sticking him and when I can't hold him, but he's at least fine in the waiting room.

New Wave

Handsome has started waving the Ghana wave. He waves hello now and not just goodbye. DH let me sleep in this morning and when I came downstairs Owen was laughing and waving to me. Nothing better to wake up to.

New words:
Dog - Dah
Cold - Coh (not sure if I wrote this one before)

The temperature was up enough today to go outside and play. I love warm weather. Handsome played in his sandbox and we walked down to the little park and played on the swingset. Did I mention I love warm weather?

Yesterday we went to see a Ugandan man who performs his local songs and dances. Handsome actually paid attention the whole time. And a majority of the children there were actually mixed kids. Handsome sat on my lap almost the whole time until the end and he started dancing.

My tv? It's dying. Everything turns green in waves. I can't afford a new tv.

Sorry for the choppiness. I have to let Dh have the computer back quickly, so I just wanted to update quickly.

A boy

My son thinks it's funny to fart.

Snow!

It's snowing! I didn't get to be there when Handsome saw the snow this morning, but I was on the phone a little later. He kept walking to the window and laughing and pointing. He'd point, talk to the outside, then look up at DH, put his arms out to the side and say, "I no no!?" (Translated: I don't know!?). LOL!

I wish I could have been there.

Shoes

Handsome put his shoes on all by himself yesterday!! I wasn't actually there for it, but when I came home he had both shoes on the right feet and DH said he put them on all by himself.

My little boy is growing up. Sniff, sniff.

Important Studies

DH is a nursing student. This semester they are studying pregnancy and childbirth, and care of mom and baby. Can I tell you how happy this makes me?!

When I was pregnant with Handsome most of the technical stuff that I came home telling him he would nod his head and pretend like he was listening, but really he didn't hear most of what I said. When I told him how big the baby was this month, or when the baby could hear inside me he acted like he was listening, but I knew he was just placating me. He didn't care so much. What mattered to him was that I was healthy and the baby was healthy. Because his intentions were good, I let it slide.

But now?? Now he HAS to know those things!! He asks me questions all the time from what he is reading and I look at him dumbfounded that he doesn't know. I told him that two years ago!! We even took a childbirth class which told the majority of what he is learning right now. I can't give him too hard a time though, because he realizes now that he missed his opportunity. And I'm likely to be better at helping him out this semester because I want to learn all that stuff.

Some of the information is too hard for me though. Last night we were learning about the FHR monitor and what the different decelerations mean. Some were just fine, and some meant the baby was in serious distress. They had sample tracings that he had to answer questions on to figure out if the baby was ok or not. I actually got teary eyed when we saw one with late decelerations. The poor baby was struggling. I wanted so bad to say, send that mother to get a c-section and save the baby! I know it was just a drawing, but wow. I always wanted to work with newborn babies in the hospital, but now I don't think I could. Not until my babies are MUCH older.

DH is going to face a major cultural problem this semester. Men in his culture are not supposed to hold babies before their umbilical cord falls off. He didn't hold Handsome until he was almost two weeks old. We specifically told the nurses not to hand Handsome to DH after I gave birth. My bf cut the cord, because DH wanted nothing to do with that. But now? Now he has to with his school. He'll be graded for it. I know he's struggling a little with that. He said when we returned to Ghana he would wash his hands with herbs so that would counteract the effect. This is some of the stuff that I just don't understand, but if it makes him feel better, then ok. And the actual reason for not being able to hold the baby, I don't remember. I think it had something to do with making his spirit weaker. No idea now. Maybe he'll let his female classmates deal with the baby and he'll take care of the mother. It'll be interesting to see what happens.

Mommy, I peed on the potty!

Ok, Handsome didn't tell me he peed on the potty, he didn't know he had done anything and he barely speaks single words, much less actually sentences.

This weekend I bought a little potty for Handsome. I wanted him to get used to seeing it so that it wouldn't be something he was afraid of. He has been sitting on it and playing with it ever since. Even cries when I take him off his potty to get in the bathtub. I have told him that's his little potty and it is used for peeing and pooping, but who knows how much of that actually registers with him.

He often will pee right after I turn on the water to fill the bathtub or shortly after I put him in the bathtub. Well, last night I turned on the water and told Handsome that if he needed to pee he should sit on his potty. He laughed - which usually is his version of "yes" or "ok" - so I put him on the potty. He sat there - with his diaper still on - until I decided he was done brushing his teeth - yes, I know, normally gross, but he did still have his diaper on. When I took the toothbrush away and then went to take his diaper off, I noticed his diaper was still wet. He had peed on the potty!!! Again, completely a mistake, but I cheered him on and told him what he did anyway. I let him sit there for a while longer just in case there might be more to come. He cried when I took him off the potty to go into the bathtub, but there was no more pee pee in the potty.

His new thing? He seems to have picked up the Dagaare word for Poop - bin (pronounced bean). After he has a poopy diaper that has been changed he comes downstairs and points to his diaper while chanting "bin bin bin bin bin" and laughing as if telling the parent that stayed downstairs what the other parent just had to go through.

Mixed Heritage

President Barack Obama of the United States of America. Never thought I would hear such a phrase and it would be the truth. An exotic name for these parts and yet the people of America voted for him. A man whose father was African and whose mother is a white American. A man who grew up with little money and got scholarships to the good schools. A man who used his education to get him to the highest position in America.

Now when my son comes home from school complaining about his homework or crying because a white kid told him he was a "good-for-nothing n*****" I can tell him brush it off because he can do absolutely anything with his life when he is serious about his education. He now has an example of a person with mixed heritage that echoes his own, who has made it. Obama beat all odds to become elected to the presidency of the USA, and Handsome could do the same if he really wanted to. (Now, I DON'T want him to because I would be worried every day for the rest of my life, but if he really wanted to, he could.)

Now that the celebrations are over, poor President Obama will have the hardest job any president has had in recent memory. He walks into a mine field of problems with the economy, terrorism, and war, and yes, even racism. I can only pray that God will guide him to make the right decisions.

We did not go to the capital to watch the inauguration. It was hard to stay home because we are so close. On a normal day it would take us maybe 45 min to get there, but of course yesterday was no ordinary day. It would have taken f-o-r-e-v-e-r. The time it would have taken to get there plus the fact that Handsome is 20 months old, the temp was 25F, the windchill was 11F, and I was terrified of some attack all kept us home for the day. We watched everything from the comfort of our living room. Handsome knew that we were paying attention to something other than him so he was loud and climbing all over me so that he would get some of the attention. I kept telling him to watch, but of course he would have none of that. And would he crawl all over DH? Of course not. It was only Mom that he wanted. The only time he was quiet was at the end of the speeches when the crowd would clap. He would then look at the TV and clap and laugh right along with them as if he had been listening the whole time - or maybe it was because he thought it was finally over, who knows.

Oh, and one thing that I did not like? I didn't hear it when we were watching, but I heard it in the commentary afterwards. They said that the crowd boo'ed Bush when he was introduced. That makes me angry. Yes, be happy that a new president is coming, but do not disrespect the president that we have had for eight years. You can dislike his policies and even dislike the person if you like, but do not disrespect him. He was leaving office mere moments after his name was announced, why would you feel the need to treat him like that? There would be no good come out of that.

Dear Lord, please help our new president.

If you're happy and you know it...

"If you're happy and you know it stomp your feet...."

Handsome LOVES this song. I'd sing it and he he'd clap at the end with me and point at me and whine until I started the song again. But in the last week or two he actually does all the signs with me! He stomps his feet and puts his fingers on his face ("your face will surely show it"). He loves it!

Last night we went to the library for storytime. They read stories, but Handsome didn't pay attention because she was only showing the pictures to the other side of the room and the kid sitting next to us was much more interesting. And while we were there he had a couple terrible farts that could kill if you sat too close to him. Yes, I'm documenting the farts so I can tell him when he grows up what I had to go through with him. Man, those farts stink worse than a skunk. But on a happier note at the end we did an art project where they gave him a koala to color. That's his first art project!!! We brought it home and I gave it to him and told him to go show Daddy. He gingerly took it and brought it to DH. It was so cute! We put it on the refrigerator to admire. :)

Potty Training.

So I found out that the Montessori school that I want to put Handsome in when he turns 2 1/2 years old requires that he is potty trained.

Does that sound impossible to anyone else? Aren't boys supposed to be more difficult than girls to potty train? Handsome doesn't even know when he is peeing yet. He peed when DH put him in the bathtub this weekend and then started crying because he didn't know what he was doing. All the readiness signs are things like "Your child can tell you when he is peeing." Problem one: he doesn't know how to tell us. Problem two: he doesn't even know when he's peeing in the first place.

Hopefully in a year he'll be better.

He has another doctor's appointment in a month so that the doctor can tell us whether she thinks Handsome is going to be obese or if he is back to being underfed, and whether he is developmentally slow with his words. It should be fun.

Unhappy Haircut

I cut Handsome's hair again yesterday. It was getting out of hand, and with the different degrees of curliness on his head, it needs to stay relatively short.

Previous encounters with the clippers have been just fine, but yesterday was not just fine. Handsome screamed the whole time. No idea why it terrified him this time. He was dancing the music until he saw the dreaded box. The box that was opened to reveal the clippers. He cried until DH decided he needed to come save Handsome. I finished the haircut with a few breaks in the middle to let Handsome calm down a bit. He wanted to hold the clippers a few times, but that didn't seem to ease the trepidation. Poor child.

He looks so handsome now though. He always looks older when I cut his hair.

Talking things out

So DH and I spoke again. I cried and cried, harder than I have in years. DH held me and patiently waited for me to be able to speak and to listen again. It felt good to finally get all that frustration out. I rarely let myself cry more than just small tears streaming from my eyes. In fact, I don't think DH has ever seen me cry this hard. This was one of those cries where you struggle to breathe and your chin shakes and you just want to crawl into the fetal position in the corner of a room.

We came to a compromise. DH said that he still wants four children, he just doesn't know how we will afford them. He said it's not out of the question, it's just that he wants to graduate from school and see how we can afford two children first. So we decided that next year we will put Handsome in preschool once DH starts working and I will continue working full time. We will do this to build back up savings that is currently being depleted by DH not working and us paying for his school. After a while of that we may have our second child at which time we'll pull Handsome out of daycare and I'll switch to a part time schedule that hopefully DH and I can figure out how to balance my schedule and his so that neither Handsome nor the second child have to go to daycare. I do hope though that the combination of our incomes will be enough for Handsome to continue going to preschool a few days a week, because by that time he'll be 3 years old and he will need at least a little while with other children and learning basic skills. He'll get bored at home with me and the baby all day. We'll see though.

I feel better about things now. I'm still tired, but that has more to do with my schedule than anything else.

I love DH and I love Handsome. I love that God has given me the life that I have. My difficulties are nothing compared to those that others have.

I think I hear Handsome waking up...

More space for children...

Today is not a good day. Not at all.

Last night DH and I had a discussion about the future. About how many children we want and when we want them. Before we got married we had many discussions about how many children. We were both solid about wanting four children. This made me very happy because I had always wanted four, from the time I was maybe six years old. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to find a husband that wanted that many children since the "typical" American family has two.

So then there was the timing issue. We were married when we were 25 years old. If we were planning on four children that didn't leave much time for waiting to get pregnant. I also always wanted to have all my kids before I turned 30. Obviously that was impossible, so I thought I could at least have two before I turned 30. DH wanted to wait. He thinks women can have children without any problem until their 50 - no joke. He says there are many women in his village who have done that so he doesn't see why I can't and why I would see that as a problem. He wanted to completely wait until he finished with school before starting to have children. Problem is that he didn't start college until he was 27 and he wants to go all the way until he gets his Ph.D. So if we followed the timeline that he wanted, I wouldn't have children until I was 35 and then the idea of four would be completely out of the window.

Anyway, we figured out how to have the first and we had him. But now? Now DH wants to wait until he has finished school to have the second. And then he wants to be done. He doesn't want the third and he doesn't want the forth. He only wants two children. Period. He said he changed his mind because this one takes so much work and so much money and he didn't realize it was going to be like this.

Problem for me is I already made room in my heart for four. I planned for four. I know they are work and I know they are money, but I already love them. I don't even know if I could handle them. Owen already tries my patience and multiply that by four and I could be in trouble. But I WANT that trouble. I want the challenge. I want to watch them grow and learn and test their limits. I want to see who they marry and meet my grandchildren. I know I haven't even given birth to them, but I love them.

Today I am mourning their loss. I refuse to convince DH to have four. I don't want to force him to have more children than he wants. I don't want there to be the possibility that he will feel resentful towards me for forcing him to have more children or even worse resentful to the children that would be born to us. Unless he legitimately changes his mind and says he truly wants more than two children, we will stop after the second child. He is likely to say we should continue because he doesn't want to see me upset, but that's not enough. He has to want the children.

I do think it's unfair though. We clearly stated before we got married that we both wanted four children. I don't think that it's is fair for him to change his mind. He is afraid we won't have enough money, which is valid, I just don't think that's enough of a reason. We would be ok. Nevertheless, he feels we won't have enough and feels that it would cause too much drama in our house.

He also wants me to continue to work full time. I was planning on switching to part time next year when DH starts work so that we can continue to keep Handsome out of full time daycare. DH thinks Handsome should go to daycare and that we need the extra income from my job. This is the second dagger. Not only have I lost two children, I have to send my first child to fulltime daycare when he is 2 1/2 years old. Do you remember from previous posts that daycare makes me hyperventilate? I just can't handle it. I know most kids turn out ok, but I've always wanted my child raised by me or someone in my close family. I'm afraid he would feel a sense of abandonment if put into full time daycare too early. I do want to put him in preschool when he turns three, but that would be part time. I'm terrified of daycare.

So today I'm mourning. Handsome can see it in my eyes and that just makes it worse. He just looks at me wondering what is wrong. I feel defeated. I've been fighting for so long for what I want. I fought in school to get a degree that I ended up not wanting. I fought in the Peace Corps for food and equal rights. I fought my own family for the right to marry my husband. I fought to learn and keep my job. I am fighting myself to stay in my job and keep bills paid. Now I've almost lost the fight. I was fighting for my four children and now I can't have what I was fighting for, so why fight? The battle has been lost. It's over. I don't have control, I can't change the outcome. I lost.

I will love and cherish the two children that I will have and forever mourn the two that might have been.

Vacation Summation

So we just got back from our two week vacation. It was wonderful. It made me feel guilty for living so far away from family though. Handsome played with his cousins and ran on Dad's land like he had finally been set free. His new word from vacation is "cow." He LOVED Dad's cows. He would run straight for them. He would stick his hands through the fence so he could feel the cow's nose.

I left Handsome with DH and Dad on one of the first days and when I came home I was greeted with pictures of Handsome picking up cow dung. Yes, cow dung. In his bare hands. And Handsome sucks his thumbs. Yes, cow dung in hands with thumbs that go in Handsome's mouth. Ick. Both Dad and DH insisted that it was old dung so it was ok. Dung is dung, my friend.

Another day Handsome and I went out to the bamboo area with Dad and J (Handsome's cousin - 8 years old). We were on the cow's side of the fence and they were following us thinking Dad was going to give them food. If I put Handsome down he would literally run straight for the cows. I let him down inside the fenced in bamboo area and he squeezed his way through the gate to run to the cows. As I was struggling to undo the chain as fast as I could, he ran towards a startled cow. Great. I opened the gate and tried not to run too fast so that I wouldn't freak the cow out even more. The cow jumped some and started to run away, but I caught up with Handsome before he got tangled in the cow's legs. And Handsome still cried when I picked him up because he wanted to get to the cow.

He loved the wide open spaces. We let him down just to see what he would do and he started running and didn't stop. He would fall over the dung heaps and old ant hills, and then just get back up and keep running. He was so excited he just couldn't stop. I don't think I've ever seen him so excited and looking like he felt so at home in a place where he truly fit. Apparently he needs space to run. This city life isn't for him. It's not really for me either, but it's where my job is, so I'm stuck right now. It's also where the culture lets us be who we are, so I'm a bit afraid to move too far back in the country. Anyway, he finally got to be a speck in the distance so I sent DH running to catch up with him and bring him back.

Handsome loved being around his cousins. He followed them everywhere. The youngest cousin, N, is five months younger than Handsome, so they were kinda drawn to each other. They calmed each other down and played very nicely together. N doesn't quite walk yet though, so they couldn't do too much. DH and I actually got to go out on a date because the cousins distracted Handsome enough, and he loved my brother's wife. So DH and I got to go on our third date since Handsome was born.

We also got to see my bf. Handsome actually let her carry him around for quite a while. As for my bf, God has sent more troubles her way. She lost her job the week before Christmas. She worked for an OBGYN that specialized in fertility problems. Well, since the economy sucks they don't have as many patients. As a result, they can't afford as many nurses. I didn't get to talk to her as much as I would like, but she seemed very tired and worn down. She is trying so hard to do the right thing and yet crap keeps getting thrown at her. I really hope 2009 is a better year for her.

The flight to TX was good. Handsome ate for the first part and then fell asleep. For the last part he watch a few podcasts on the iPod, ate some goldfish, and then we landed. The flight home was not so pleasant. The flight left at 7pm so I thought for sure he would sleep. No sleep at all on that flight. He was awake and kicking the seat in front of him the entire time. He was bored and cranky and it took a lot of work from me to keep him from crying and screaming on the flight. At one point I thought I would give DH the responsibility so that I could rest for a while. Of course that didn't work and I had to fight to get my seat back so that Handsome would stop yelling. As we sat waiting to get our bags off the belt a woman walked up to us and said she was a child photographer and was just drawn to Handsome. She gave me her card. She takes good photos, but of course we can't afford professional pictures. Her comment kinda made me chuckle inside because of course she's drawn to children, that's how she earns her income. Handsome finally fell asleep about 15 min into the car ride home. He was so tired at that point that when we got home I was able to just transfer him from the car to his crib and he barely woke up - which for Handsome, never happens.

Overall it was an awesome vacation and going back to work is hard.