Vacation.... and now sick

Today is the first day of my two week vacation!!! Yay!!!

But do you know what happened here at the very beginning of my glorious vacation? Sickness. Handsome started with a runny nose on Thursday. Then by Friday all three of us were sick. I am apparently the biggest wuss because all I want to do is sleep. Today DH let me sleep until 11am and probably would have let me sleep all day, but I woke up nauseous from hunger, so I got up. And now? Now I'm sneezing blood. Disgusting, right?

Our flight is on Tuesday. If I am congested while on a flight, I inevitably get an ear infection or two. Please, Lord, let us all be healthy by Tuesday. I don't know if I can handle a whiney, sick child on an airplane when I'm whiney and sick myself.

I hate colds.

Veggies

I made vegetable soup tonight. And Handsome ate an entire bowl plus more! Apparently if I want him to eat his veggies I should just make soup.

And another new word

Co = cold.

For those who pray, please pray for DH. He has two finals tomorrow and I'm nervous about both. He says he isn't, but I am.

And then I have a TON of work to get done before the end of the week. This is going to be a hard week. Last week sucked and this week doesn't look like it's going to be much better.

Lord, please give me the strength to make it through this week.

My couch steals

It steals pens, highlighters, phones, and remotes.

Annoying couch.

My beautiful eyes

So DH, Handsome, and I went to do some last minute Christmas shopping - which I find myself doing frequently against my better judgement. When we were checking out DH was holding Handsome behind me and I was paying and talking to the guy checking us out. After the normal "It's cold outside tonight" conversation, he pauses and just looks at me. Weird right? And then he says, "You have the most beautiful green eyes." So I said thank you, left as fast as I could, and then started laughing as soon as we got to the parking lot. DH was standing right behind me with Handsome and this guy was flirting with me!! I couldn't believe it! DH even asked me when we got outside if that was really what the guy had said. Now granted, people don't normally think DH and I are together, but usually when Handsome is there, they get the hint. Some guys just don't get the hint.

The carseat milestone

Yesterday we turned Handsome's car seat around so that he is finally facing forward. Yes, my baby is growing up. I kept him facing backwards as long as I could. His legs were finally too long to keep him facing backwards, so I had to turn him around.

He seems to like it, but I never saw his face when he was backwards, so he could have been smiling the whole way when facing backwards. It will be nice though not to have Handsome playing with random people in other cars where I can't see.

It's weird for me to be able to just look in the rear view mirror and see his face. It's nice to know when he's asleep and when he's not.

Hiding Christmas Presents

I need to get better at the whole keeping Christmas presents a secret. Right now I suck at it. First of all we went Christmas shopping WITH Handsome. Whatever kinda caught his eye is what we got. We even let him play with the toys until we got out of the store because it made him happy and honestly, it was pretty funny. He was playing with the little play cellphone and was so enthralled with it he didn't even notice all the people walking around him laughing at his playing.

And where did I hide the presents? In my closet, on the floor. I put them on DH's side. And so far DH has left the closet doors open twice and Handsome has wondered inside and grabbed a present that I have had to take away from him and close the door again. Oops.

Next year I'll be better.

Stacking

One of Handsome's favorite things to do is take the cans out of the pantry. This weekend he started stacking them. He put the biggest can on the bottom, the middle sized one above that, and the small tomato paste can on the top. He was very proud of himself. He started a couple other stacks next to that one. They were all going well until he decided to put more cans on the stack of three. All but the bottom two fell. I was bummed because I couldn't get a picture on time, but Handsome thought it was hilarious.

I'm still happy that he finally understands, "Put those back, Handsome."

Black Friday

DH and I decided that we would go shopping early on Black Friday - something neither DH nor I have ever done, but we're extra poor this year so if anyone was getting Christmas presents this was the only way to go.

The alarm went off, and I hit snooze. The alarm went of again, and I hit snooze again. I hate shopping and getting up early to do it is not on my list of fun things to do. Anyway, we finally got up and I went to get Handsome out of bed. My poor Handsome. He had developed a cold overnight so he was hoarse and wheezing. I was terrified he had pneumonia because I'm that type of mom. It's a good thing that it developed over night because otherwise I would have blamed myself for waking him up so early and taking him shopping.

We all bundled up and went to Walmart. The place was elbow to elbow with people. The main thing that I wanted was a more selfish want. I wanted a Christmas tree. We can't afford one, but Walmart had one on Black Friday for $25! We also bought Christmas presents for Handsome and a couple DVDs that were on sale.

So now I have a Christmas tree. I love it! It is a little Charlie Brown - esqe, but it is my Christmas tree and I've never had my own before. So far Handsome has done really well with not messing with the tree. He'll point at it and ask what it is, but there haven't been any overt attacks of the Christmas tree.

And as for the cold, he didn't speak at all, because he had no voice. He had silent laughs and silent cries. We gave him warm tea with honey to help his throat, Tang for vitamin C, and yogurt for his immune system. I tried to keep a water sippy cup with him at all times. We had to give him Tylenol at one point because the fever started to bother him. He did sleep well though, so I was thankful for that.

Oh, and we found another word that Handsome knows: Bear. When we were at Walmart he started pointing to a display of teddy bears and saying "Bear! Bear!" Too cute.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Thanksgiving was really good this year. We stayed home and a really good friend of mine from college, who was also DHs best man at our wedding, came over with his girlfriend. I cooked turkey, green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole, and warmed up some rolls. I of course made sure I had my sparkling grape juice as is my family tradition. My father never had alcohol in the house, so as a substitute we drank sparkling grape juice. I still love that stuff. DH, who can't drink any alcohol because of the medicine he is on, drank that sparkling grape juice like he was dying of thirst. :)

This was the first year that Handsome actually got to eat a Thanksgiving meal. Last year Handsome was still exclusively breast feeding. We set up his highchair at the end of the table and put a sampling of all the food on his little tray. He used his fork like a champ and ate most of what we put on his plate. His favorite of course was the sweet potato casserole. We snuck the meat in with the sweet potatoes so that he would at least eat a little meat.

He did really well with our friends, playing and laughing with them, which made me really happy. He laughed almost the entire day - well, after his belly was full.

And I was proud of myself because I didn't eat too much and I even started the dishes before I was exhausted so most of the kitchen was clean and all the extra food was in the fridge before we went to bed. Yay!

2008 was a very good Thanksgiving.

Blankets, Pooh, and sleeping

I started putting a blanket on Handsome when I put him down for bed. Nights are getting cold here and I'd rather not have to run the heater so much. Last year we put a space heater in his room, but I was always afraid it was going to catch fire. Yes, I'm paranoid. So he lays down nicely for me to put the blanket, but maybe ten minutes later he's already rolled out from underneath it or thrown it out of the crib.

He's also had those little blankies with the bear heads in his crib with him. He likes to lay on top of them much like he likes to lay on top of feet. Odd. Nevertheless, by morning time the crib is empty of blankets. Last night he was holding Pooh around bedtime, so I let him sleep with Pooh. This morning Pooh was still in his crib. We love Pooh.

Terrible twos.... err... one and a halfs...

My precious, patient, always laughing, always smiling baby has grown into a whining, crying, stubborn toddler. It comes from the fact that he wants to do everything himself. He wants to feed himself, brush his own teeth, put on his own shoes, chose his own clothes, choose his own meal.... Well, you get the idea. Now, don't get me wrong, it isn't constant. He is still full of laughter and smiles and intense concentration. It's just that the whining has grown more common and his frustrations have multiplied.

I know all of this is because he is starting to become more independent. He wants to be able to do everything on his own and learn as much as quickly as possible. He wants to be in control of something. He has to use the spoon or the fork himself and he knows what he wants to eat. The problem right now is primarily communication. He knows maybe ten words, but he doesn't use them very often and mostly only uses them after DH and I do.

Time-out is a beautiful thing.

Add to the frustrations that he's been getting up earlier in the morning. Grumpy, sleepy child. And then he's been waking up crying after we put him to bed. Grumpy, sleepy parents.

New Words

No - (self-explanatory)

Nen - "chicken" in Dagaare

Sheh - same word for both shoe and sock.

I'm liking this talking thing. I'm assuming there are other words that he says that we just don't recognize yet. I know there are a ton in Dagaare that I don't understand and DH hasn't classified as words yet.

And you know what he learned last night? The meaning of, "Please put that back where you got it, Handsome." Yay!! I had to walk with him and help him for a few times, but then he finally understood and started putting things back all by himself and laughing all the way from the sheer joy of understanding eachother. I love being witness to the learning process. It's a beautiful thing to see a child's mind blossoming.

Handsome is such a blessing. I love him more and more every day. When I see the pain around me of friends losing their children, I just want to hold Handsome even tighter and cry. I want to cry for the joy of having my own miracle and for the thought of how painful it would be if I ever lost him. I don't know what I would do. I think motherhood teaches empathy. The day the two lines show up is the day our hearts and minds change forever. I cry for children that scrape their knees and even for children laughing with joy. The depths of my joy and sorrow have stretched beyond anything I've ever felt before. Being a mother is the greatest gift from God and I thank Him every day for the gift I have been given.

Sleepless Nights

Last week I put Handsome down for bed as normal, and he laid down just fine. Two hours later he woke up screaming. Nothing DH or I would do would make him fall asleep. I finally laid down on the extra bed in his room and he laid down in his crib, peeking over every few minutes to make sure I was still there. And then he woke up with the sun. I got about three hours of sleep. No idea why he cried so much. Only thing we could guess was that we gave him too much juice so he was hyper and it might have messed with his stomach.

Then a few nights after that wouldn't even let my lay him down without him crying. He cried for hours, only stopping when I picked him up. He finally went to sleep and then woke up a few hours later to cry again. I just went and laid down on the bed in his room again because I was exhausted and had to work the next day.

Another night he woke up at 3am crying. I picked him up and we rocked for a while. He went right back to sleep when I put him down.

Why is he starting this now? He's been sleeping through the night without problems for quite a while now. I have no idea why he is starting this now.

I can feel the "terrible twos" coming on. The stubbornness is starting to exaggerate, he cries when he doesn't get what he wants, and he whines to get what he wants. He is also pushing limits on seeing when DH and I lay down the law. I do have to say though, that he's pretty good with his time-outs. He sits quietly for his time-out and then doesn't continue doing what he did to get himself into time-out.

I need sleep and a long vacation.

So little time

I have been neglecting my poor blog. A good deal has happened, but I just haven't had the time to post. I still don't have the time to post, but here is a synopsis:

1. I'm stressed.

2. DH is stressed, but won't admit it.

3. Handsome is now 15% for height and 70% for weight, so now the doctor thinks he is going to be obese. Remember a mere 6 months ago she was afraid because he was too small?

4. I have decided what I want to be when I grow up, but I suck at it.

5. Handsome is now 18 months - a whole year and a half - old.

6. They just found a cyst in my 8 year old nephew's brain.

7. My bf should be officially divorced in a week and a half!

8. It's cold outside.

I'm sure there is more, but my break is over so time is out. I'll write more soon, I promise.

President-Elect Barack Obama

I stayed home from work yesterday assuming I would face a long line for voting and traffic at weird hours trying to get to the polls. This election was very important to me for so many reasons. I believe the Republicans have had their time and it is time to hand over the reigns for a little while. I believe the economy needs a different theory to run by for a while. I believe we need to leave a country that we more occupy than help protect right now. I believe we need comprehensive health care for all. I believe we need more social acceptance and that Obama would be better to bring each issue about. And on a more personal note, I believe my son needs a man to look up to. If he ever has any doubts that he, as a biracial person, could achieve anything, he now has an example.

With all this being said, I do have reservations. Obama has a whole load of problems that he is walking into. We, as a nation, have so much debt and so many new enemies. On top of that he is going to have to face all the people who still harbor racism, follow this Ayers thing and think he is a terrorist, or think he is somehow against this nation he was elected to lead. Every time he speaks before a huge crowd in the USA, I'm going to hold my breath and pray that God keeps him safe.

If McCain had won, I wouldn't have been sad. I like McCain. I don't like the tactics that have been used during the campaign, and I don't like Palin, but I do like McCain. If he had won I just would have prayed that he stayed healthy for the full four year term.

So anyway, I woke up around 9am and got Handsome up. We headed to vote at the local library by 10 am. The line was out the door, but not too long. There were lots of mothers with their children and people of all races and ages. It was chilly and misting outside, but not too bad. Handsome stayed in my arms and drank his milk for the entirety of the line. We had electronic touch screen voting machines that were much better than the machines we had last time. Last time the sensors weren't calibrated so you had to touch in the wrong spot to vote for who you wanted. This time it was very clear, simple and easy. We got our sticker and left and I felt so proud of myself and happy that Handsome could be there with me.

We were slated to volunteer from 5-7pm to try to keep people in line. We got a t-shirt for Handsome that said "THANK YOU for waiting in line FOR ME!" It was too cute because they didn't have toddler sizes so we put it over his jacket and he looked like he was ready to go play football. But once we got to the library, there was no line! We hung around for about thirty minutes and then left because no one was there and it was cold and rainy. I'm assuming everyone voted early thinking it would be too busy after work.

We came home and a few friends came over to watch the results with us. It was overall a very good day. Handsome was able to be there with me to make history. I feel such a sense of pride for him and for his future. My eyes tear up just thinking about it.

Now the reigns are in Obama's hands. I can only pray that he will do the right thing and that American can climb out of the problems we have gotten ourselves into. Please, Lord, guide him and give him the wisdom that he needs.

My Little Helper

I was in the kitchen this morning washing dishes. I heard Handsome making noise behind me and assumed he was opening and closing the drawers - his favorite past time. But when I looked behind me he was holding the hand vacuum and acting like he was vacuuming the floor!! It was too funny! He used to be afraid of the vacuum, but apparently he has gotten over that fear. Yesterday was a huge house cleaning day, so maybe after watching it at work all day he got used to it and curiosity took over.

Good Shepherd

So today we went back to the church we were married in. Still Catholic, but a 25 minute drive instead of a 5 minute drive. It was SOO much better. The priest that married us wasn't there, but the priest that was there was good.

His speech was still about politics and the election coming up, which almost turned me off from the beginning, but it was different from the last one. There were no accusations of evil. He spoke about how Catholics should not be one issue people. That the main leaders of the church have issued statements to reinforce the fact that we are not supposed to be one issue voters. He did say that abortion is a huge issue and should be one that we focus on. He went on to give statistics on who gets abortions and how many lives are lost. And then he continued. He gave statistics for how many lives have been lost in Iraq - lives that are American and lives that are Iraqi. He gave statistics for how many have lost their lives in Afghanistan. He gave statistics on how many lives are lost around the world due to poverty and hunger. He said that Catholics should value life - ALL life. He said that Catholics should be torn about this election. He said that we all have valid reasons for voting for each candidate and valid reasons for not voting for either candidate. He said that priests that focus on abortion alone and tell their parishioners to vote only on the abortion issue are short sighted.

Just sitting in the church you could feel the different atmosphere. The room was bright and the pews were full. The congregation was not made primarily of older parishioners, but was full of children. Each pew probably had between four and six adults and then at least two children sitting between each adult. The church was decorated with fall colors and the air seemed light. When we went up for communion, they blessed Handsome. (They blessed children back in my churches in Texas, but the church we have been going to never blessed children.)

When we left mass and looked at the cars, half had McCain stickers and half had Obama stickers. Someone had left "values" flyers on each of our cars and there was a woman standing outside the church handing out McCain fliers. A woman from the church standing with her two children was talking to her. She was holding her hand and saying very calmly, "If you are truly a Christian then laws should not be...." I don't know what they were talking about, but it seemed she was in support of Obama and not in support of this woman spreading political propaganda at the church.

This church felt much more open and welcoming. I still have a chip on my shoulder right now, and I'm not sure how long it will take for that to leave, but I must admit this church was a step in the right direction.

Evil

Well, the verdict is in. According to the priest, I am evil. He told me so. Then he said God would "deal with me" and then repeated "Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you." He also said Obama is evil and Pelosi is evil and anyone in their party is evil. Followed up by he has freedom of speech and it his duty to tell me and everyone else what is right and what is wrong.

So the verdict is in from the infallible priest. I am evil.

Today is a bad day.

Priest NOT Politician

WARNING: This is about politics and religion. If either is sensitive, don't read. If I had an option to make this private I probably would, but I don't and I need to vent, so here goes.

So, I left mass early today. Partly it was because Handsome was talking the whole time and no matter what I did he kept making noise. But the other part was because of how angry the priest made me.

Typically the speech that the priest makes has to do with the three preceding readings. The reading today had to do with the greatest commandment given by Christ is to love. I was all excited because I love those sections. But what did the priest warp it to mean? Vote Republican. GRRR. I go to church to learn the word of the Bible. I REALLY don't think there is anything in the Bible that says Republicans are for God and Democrats are against God. Basically what the priest was saying was that everyone must vote on one topic alone. The only thing we should vote for is the candidate who is pro-life. He went so far as to use names of who is evil in politics and who is not. About how it is impossible for someone to be pro life personally and pro choice politically. How it's the same thing as slavery is not ok for me, but it's ok for you, and I'm not going to murder but it's ok if you murder. How we are endorsing murder.

I just wanted to stand up and yell at him. Has he ever seen a girl who went through an illegal abortion? Does he think those girls who are confused and fearing what to do with a child should just die? Does he think the mother who may lose her life and her surviving children lose their mother should just die?

I hate abortion. I wish everyone would have their babies. The problem is no amount of preaching will stop it. Children get scared. Teenagers fear the social repercussions and wonder how they will have money to pay for the child and they freak out and do dangerous things. Illegal abortions often end up killing the woman or girl who is pregnant. If they don't kill her they make her unable to have any children in the future. My reason to vote pro-choice is to save the life of the mother. In my mind voting prolife means voting on principles that are nice in an ideal world, but in the sinful world that is our reality it means killing not only the baby that you are trying to save but the mother of the baby as well. Two killed instead of one.

More than that though, I don't agree with voting on a single issue. People are a mesh of different issues and if you only focus on a single issue then you could be ignoring an equally tragic sin of that candidate or many greater. What if Hitler was prolife and his opponent was prochoice? Would you still vote for Hitler?

If you want to vote prolife, I'm fine with that. I understand the desire to save a life. What I have a problem with is vilifying the other side. What I REALLY have a problem with is a priest trying to talk politics from the pulpit.

I'm strongly considering Presbyterian or Methodist church. I asked DH about it though, and he wouldn't even think about going. He is Catholic and won't change. But did he go to mass with me this morning? No, because he was up too late studying last night. He said there will never be a preacher or a priest that you agree with 100%. I agree with him, but this morning just made me so angry.

I don't think a reading of how you are supposed to love above all leads to preaching about how evil Pelosi is.

Blogerversary

Well, I missed it by about five days, but apparently I've been blogging for a little over a year now. It doesn't seem like it's been that long. It's definitely nice to have a place to ramble on and get thoughts out.

Thank you to everyone who's been with me for the last year!

God Arranges Marriage

DH was telling me a story last night. It is a local belief which I had never heard.

Apparently before we are all born we are all together in heaven. Then, as the story goes, there is a ceremony where everyone cooks beans. Yes, beans. The girls all have calabashes (bowls) but the boys don't. (I take this to mean we are more resourceful, but I guess we each take our own interpretations of stories like this.) Anyhow, after the beans are cooked and they are nice and hot, everyone has to find a place to put their beans. The girls conveniently put their beans in their calabashes. The boys however only have their hands to hold their beans. Remember we just finished cooking the beans, so they're hot and they are currently burning the hands of the boys. The boys run around trying to find a girl to allow them to put their beans in their calabash so that they can share and eat together from the one calabash. Whatever girl allows them to put their beans in their calabash will be their wife. This is how God arranges marriages. They say any man who ends up not getting married didn't find a girl in time and dropped their hot beans on the ground.

DH must have run pretty far to find my calabash. Teehee.

Mama and Dada

I think Handsome says words for Mama and Dada too. It's kinda funny how he has picked them up too. I of course talk about his dad so I say Daddy and Dada when I talk about DH. DH talks about me, but he's talking in Dagaare to Handsome so he says Nma for Mama. So Handsome is saying Dada in English (instead of Dagaare Baba) and Mama in Dagaare as Nma.

I got a picture book for him to learn the names of animals. As one would expect it has the pictures of each animal with the name below. The page that you open to is the title page and just has six representative pictures of what to expect in the book. Those six pictures do not have the names written below. Handsome's favorite page? The page without the names. This is fine because as the mom I should know the names right? Right. I was calling the reindeer an elk until I finally decided I needed to know the actual name and had to look it up. And then there was the cockatoo. I didn't know the name. I had to look it up. Now it's Handsome's favorite because of how it sounds. I also had to look up the leopard because I still think it looks like a cheetah and I wanted to be sure. Reindeer. Cockatoo. Leopard. Ladybug. Dog. Chameleon. Got it.

First words that I've so far classified as words:
Samson (Sasa),
banana (nana),
Daddy (Dada),
Mommy (Nma).

First Words

Ok, I don't know if I'm getting ahead of myself here or not, but I think we have the signs of first words. When he sees a banana he will say "Nana!" He used to follow this up with a bunch of nonsense, but now he's more consistently saying "Nana!"

And the other word is the dog's name, Samson. Any time we go to see the dog he will excitedly say, "Sasa?!" He loves that dog. I actually recorded him saying Samson today - I hid the camera so that he din't know I was recording. I tried to recor him saying Banana, but by then he knew the camera was there so he wouldn't repeat it again.

I think he also says Dada, but that is not nearly as consistent yet.

As I've said before he will repeat a lot, but then he doesn't continue with any follow up. We're just now getting some sort of follow up to the Nana and Sasa.

Yay for progress!

Tired

I'm so tired my eyes hurt. I shouldn't be this tired. I've mostly been getting full nights of sleep. The past couple nights Handsome has woken up and cried a couple times, but I didn't get out of bed any of those times. He cried enough to keep me awake and listening, but they weren't desperate calls, so I let him cry himself back to sleep.

I miss my DH. He's been so busy with his school that I've hardly seen him. He's home; he's just downstairs in the basement in his "Do Not Disturb" mode. We desperately need a date night.

A friend of mine just bought a gorgeous house and I'm jealous. It's huge and gorgeous and in a good neighborhood. The economy can bite me - and sadly it has.

So tired.

I need my Christmas vacation now please.

The art of eating a sandwich

So Handsome has had a sandwich before, but not all by himself. Yes, he's old enough he should have had one himself a long time ago, but here's the thing: we don't really have a dining room. We have a table that is on it's last leg that sits on the carpet. If I let Handsome feed himself more often my carpet would be beyond disgusting. The other option is to let him eat in the kitchen, but then either DH or I would have to stand there with him because there is not room for more than one chair. Sad, I know.

So anyway, I let him feed himself the sandwich last night. He was so excited! He tried to use both hands and the sandwich kinda folded like a taco and completely dipped underneath his mouth. But the ever persistent Handsome kept trying and ate the whole sandwich! All by himself! Anytime a crumb fell on the carpet he was sure to point to it to let me know I needed to pick it up. Oh so helpful.

My little boy is growing up.

Must. Lose. Weight.

So I saw some pictures of myself this weekend. I seriously need to lose weight. It's just so hard to find time in the day. I need to motivate myself.

My clothes are all tight, but the next size up is still too big. I guess I should be glad I haven't gone up a size, but my shape has most definitely changed. I've never been skinny, but I have always had a flat stomach. Now my stomach is not flat.. not at all.

20 pounds. I need to lose 20 pounds. The same 20 pounds I needed to lose right after Handsome was born.

Peed on my Foot

Yes, it's true. Handsome peed on my foot. I changed his diaper right before his bath and was brushing his teeth while the water in the tub warmed up. I suppose the water flowing sound worked it's magic and Handsome peed. Right on my foot. I screamed mostly because I didn't know what was happening and then Handsome started crying. Then I started laughing so he did too.

Luckily it was in the bathroom right before his bath so it was easy to clean.

Sleeping patterns

So yesterday, DH didn't wake up Handsome until 1:30pm!!! He was trying to let Handsome sleep until he woke up on his own because if you don't he's grumpy all day, but 1:30pm? And then DH cooked dinner (yay!) but didn't finish until after 9pm, so Handsome was up with us waiting for food. And then he was so full we wanted him to poop before we put him to bed because when we don't he'll wake up with it, which is not good. So we waited, and waited.... He never did and I gave up around 11pm. 11!! He's never been up that late. Poor little guy was so tired.

I put him in his new comfy pajamas, and he finally got to sleep. I wonder what time he'll be up today.

Molars

Handsome is getting his molars. All his teeth seem to be coming in at once. He just got his canines on the bottom, and now two molars on the top (one on each side) have cut through. You can see all the slots between that are red and kinda raised. They are coming soon. He's been sleeping ALL the time, so now I know why.

Book Meme

Thanks to J.C. for tagging me!

The rules: Grab the nearest book. Open the book to page 56. Find the fifth sentence. Post the text of the next two to five sentences in your journal/blog along with these instructions. Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST. Tag five other people to do the same.

Lord of the Flies - William Golding
"Here the littluns who had run after him caught up with him. They talked, cried out unintelligibly, lugged him toward the trees. Then, amid the roar of bees in the afternoon sunlight, Simon found fo them the fruit they could not reach, pulled off the choicest from up in the foliage, passed them back down to the endless, outstretched hands. When he had satisfied them he paused and looked round. The littluns watched him insrutably over double handfuls of ripe fruit."

I'm reading this book in attempt to read all the classics that I didn't read back in highschool. It's good so far.

I didn't tag anyone because I'm kinda assuming everyone I know who blogs has already been tagged. If you haven't played along yet, I tag you!!

Philosophy

On my search for bilingual info, I found this:

Appiah: Well, you know, one of the things about the United States is that it is a country that is very self-consciously diverse now and that's good, but you have to remember that that diversity comes with a great deal of shared American stuff. For example, 99.something percent of Americans understand and
speak English. Now in the country I grew up in, in Ghana, there is no language that 99 percent of the people understand. Barely fifty percent of the population can communicate reliably in the government language, which is English. So we think of ourselves as very diverse, but in many ways, we're actually less diverse than we think we are.
What holds the United States together in many senses is the fact that, despite this acceptance of the diversity of identities, people are in fact, you know, remarkably similar. If you come from outside the United States, one of the first things that strikes you, I think, is, on the one hand, they all keep saying how different they are. On the other hand, they all seem, to the outsider, so American.
When Americans go abroad - and this is one of the reasons why I think Americans should go abroad more - one of the things they discover is that people who think of themselves as very different
here - African-Americans and Caucasian-Americans, for example - you put them both down in Nairobi and suddenly they recognize that they have a great deal in common. So it's good, I think, that we accept and celebrate our diversity, but we have to remember that it's sort of within a certain framework.
I'll give you another example. When religions settle in the United States, they tend to become Americans in a certain way. For example, Islam in the United States. The broad majority of Muslims in the United States believe in the separation of
church and state. The broad majority of Muslims in many other countries don't. They think that it would be better to have (unintelligible). Most American Muslims are not after that. They're like most American Catholics, Protestants, Jews and Buddhists. They think it's just fine to have religion be something that you do and make decisions about privately and the government not be religious at all.

http://www.pbs.org/kcet/tavissmiley/archive/200602/20060210_appiah.html

Bilingual

So as the worrisome mother that I am, I am starting to get worried about Handsome still not being able to speak. I decided to do some research and found the site http://www.bilingualbabies.org/ which states:

"Do bear in mind that it isn’t unusual for multilingual children to reach their second birthday with four words in their vocabulary."

Grr.

But then there is this:

"Speech disorders do occur, however, in bilingual children as in monolingual children, so if you are truly worried that your child is not understanding you (in any of the languages) or able to carry out commands by age 2, you should ask a professional’s advice."

He is already able to carry out commands in both languages, so at least we have that going for us.

And then:

"By halfway through your child’s third year, you can expect to have heard a few first words at least, and in other children you may have as far as the two-word stage or the telegraphic stage. Next you can look forward to the development of grammar and structure – a new and exciting adventure that is fascinating in that it reveals so much about your child’s thought processes and hypothesis-building strategies in the world of language. Hang on tight – it’s a rollicking ride!"

Rollicking? Really? Sure doesn't feel that way right now.

New teeth, Scrapbooking, Handsome

Random stuff because I never have time to blog anymore.

Handsome now has two new teeth bringing the grand total to 10. Beautiful teeth - minus the chipped front tooth which I still have no idea how it happened - and stinky breath. We really need to stop feeding him food with garlic in it.

I finally started my scrapbook! I grappled my fears and now have nine pages done!! Yay!! Now that's only up to the time he was a month old, so I have quite a ways to go, but it's a start! And this one looks SOO much better than last year's already!

And yesterday I had to go buy new sleepers for Handsome. He has grown out of his 12 month clothes so I had to buy 18 month clothes. I'm so proud of him for growing. And the lady checking us out literally said when we were leaving, "Bye bye Handsome!" Seriously!! I was walking away and I kinda paused for a minute kinda taken aback. I was wondering how in the world she knew his nickname. It did actually take me a little bit to realize she didn't actually know what I called him and it was merely a common nickname for kids. Yes, sometimes I'm slow.

Oh, and I cut Handsome's hair even shorter last night. DH says it's uneven though so I'm going to redo it tonight.

Understanding Words

Handsome now understands words. These are what he knows so far in English:

Milk
Water
Sippy Cup
Grandma
Grandpa
Mommy
Daddy
Toes
Foot
Ears
Nose
Food
Hungry
Bye bye
Sit
Kiss
Stand
Goldfish
Hug

I'm sure there are more, but these are the ones where I can say things like, "Where is your nose?" And he can point to it.

He knows a similar amount of words in Dagaare.

Now my question is, when will he actually start USING these words??

Poor Blog

My poor blog. DH's school is in full force so I never get the computer anymore. Boo.

I've had my fair share of more family drama - DHs family of course - but no time to post about it. I had a really good day on Sunday at Cox Farms with Amy! If I ever get a chance I'll post a few pictures.

But I have noticed that my comments have dropped significantly lately... :(

Chipped Teeth

I chipped my front teeth on my fork last night. Seriously? I made it almost 30 years and NOW I chip my teeth?!

I'm afraid to smile now.

I'm going to call my dentist and see what he can do. I can't afford much right now. Don't know if insurance pays for this.

Grr.

Chipped teeth. Not cool.

A friend's plea - Diabetes

A friend of mine found out she had diabetes when we were in the second grade. She always tested her blood and took her insulin shots like there was nothing out of the ordinary that she was doing. She never thought of herself as being sick or being different, and therefore neither did the rest of us. It's only recently that she has gotten married and desperately wants children that I am starting to realize that her juvenile diabetes is going to affect her.

We grew up in a very red state, and she still lives in that red state. She sent this email out yesterday and I thought I would pass it along. I never thought about these issues to the depth that she has, but they are obviously important to her. Please don't think I wrote this. Hopefully from the writing style alone you will see that it is not me.

Again this is political, so if it is going to cause a problem, then don't continue. It deals with the health care plans of those running for president:

------------

Friends and family, regardless of your political leanings (and I know
they are not the same as mine in many of your cases), please excuse this as my
ONE political email this election cycle. Those of you who disagree, fine. But
when you write me back with something inflammatory, remember that there are some issues on which more than a flag pin depend.

Please read this editorial describing the McCain / Palin healthcare reform plan: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/16/opinion/16herbert.html?th&emc=th

For those that doubt the legitimacy of the claims in Herbert's column,
please consult McCain's website here.

I have been denied individual private health insurance as a juvenile
diabetic throughout my adult life, regardless of my ability to pay. As a
self-employed private contractor, I relied on my parents' COBRA plan until it
kicked me off at a certain age and then had to look into the state risk pool for
the "medically uninsurable." (Only 34 states offer high risk pool insurance,
btw.) If it weren't for my husband's insurance through his job, I wouldn't be
able to afford the medical care I need. My prescriptions for 2 vials of insulin
and 400 test strips with insurance this month - $52.40. Without insurance? Over
$650. My doctor visits this month with insurance - $40. Without? $400. The list
goes on. Not to mention thousands of dollars a year in insulin pump supplies.
That's on top of the wage reduction my husband agreed to to get insurance
benefits through his contract company to begin with.

The Obama plan is not watertight either, you might argue, but it is not this. The McCain plan is to drive consumers into the individual private insurance market by taxing our employee benefits as INCOME - triple dipping, as it were. Once for the premiums you already pay to the health insurance company, twice for benefits-as-income, and really a third time for the right of the company to offer you less pay in
the first place for paying a larger portion of your health care contributions.
This is supposed to push us into the individual insurance market and drive
prices down. It's not that I don't understand Republican economic policy - take
restrictions off of businesses and the market will flourish and we will all bask
in the warm golden ooze of prosperity. It sounds great in theory - but I'm not a
business. I'm a consumer, an individual, a worker, a human. And I don't know
about you, but I don't see Exxon trickling any of their nice little windfall
profits to my corner of the market.

The "don't raise my taxes" crowd is going to tax me right off my
healthcare plan and then into a market where I am "medically uninsurable."
Natural selection brought to a new low. My husband is young and "healthy" by
conventional standards. He could probably find individual coverage at a high but
manageable rate. But some of us... McCain has said that his goal is "to restore
control over our healthcare system to the patients themselves." I sure hope the
a-hole sends me a first-aid kit and a flashlight.

~M

Height

Not quite tall enough.

Oh the stuggles of just not being tall enough. I suppose you learn how to make do with what you have though when you are just too little to do what everyone else does.

On Sunday morning we went to a playgroup. Handsome was shy around the people that I knew and was talking to, but as soon as they left - we were late, so we stayed late too - he was fine joking with the complete strangers. Odd little one. He was playing with a plastic rake and every time a child came near him he would try to give them the rake. One poor little girl, who was maybe 2 1/2, was terrified because Handsome kept following her around trying to give her that rake. She finally found an opening and ran to her father for dear life. Please explain to me how a 2 1/2 year old would be afraid of a 16 month old.

Later that day we went to mass. I went without DH because he has a test today. I went to make sure that I prayed for him and his mother who is once again very sick. Handsome did well during mass. He played with the women who were sitting behind us.

Handsome also got his very first chocolate milk today. The first sip shocked him, but he drank the rest of it so fast I'm not sure he tasted it.

Oops

Does Oops count as a first word?

DH said Handsome was repeating Oops with him on Tuesday and even said it after he fell. So does that count?

When I got home and DH told me this, I of course had to try it out. I said Oops to see if he would copy. He just smiled at me. Later on in the car though, I repeated it. "Oops." And he said "Tsss" :) So we kept going and he finally said "ootss" That's darn close if you ask me.

We're at least making progress.

Intimidation

I'm intimidated. I admit it. I'm intimidated by scrapbooking.

I keep meaning to make a scrapbook (digital) of Handsome's first year. So far I've just listed the pictures that I want to include. Beyond that I don't know where to start. I've downloaded a few scrapbooking kits.

Math is easy. You can use whatever path you want, but there is only one right answer.

Creativity is daunting. There are so many different paths and so many different answers. It's the infinity that scares me.

Corn popper

You remember those old school toys, the Corn Poppers? Handsome has one and he LOVES it! But when he leaves it and goes for another toy he HAS to leave it standing up. To where it balances on the two wheels and the white spherical part. I have no idea where this obsession came from. If he can't get it to stand up, he will cry until he can get it to stand. He's not a crier for the most part, but if he is determined to do something and can't quite do it, then he gets upset.

Learning Timeout

I mentioned before that I am stating timeouts. I wasn't sure if he understood what timeout meant yet, but last night he showed he at least knew part of what it meant. He was spreading water on the coffee table from his sippy cup. I told him he wasn't supposed to spread water on the table (remember he does this often and out of his maybe five times in timeout so far probably three or four were for spreading water or milk on the coffee table. So after told him he wasn't supposed to spread water on the coffee table, as his warning, he got a very sad look on his face and walked himself to the timeout spot and sat on his little butt and started to cry. I did not tell him to go, he just seemed to understand that when he gets in trouble he goess to that spot and sits.

That understanding happened much more quickly than I had anticipated. Perhaps the next lesson should be what a warning means.

Stepping stools

Handsome likes to climb. I guess it's the boy in him. He will find boxes, and toys, and really anything he thinks he can stand on, bring them to a table where he wants something he can't reach, and commence climbing. It's smart and an annoyance all at the same time. We try to put things like glasses of water and school papers out of his reach, but as soon as he finds his box, nothing is safe.

Palin brings out the contradictions in me.

WARNING: If you are easily offended about political stuff, please do not read.

All the talk about Palin brings out all the contradictions in me. She is a walking contradiction herself. She is purported to be a conservative and yet she is living the life of a liberal. I'm not sure what my opinion is of her just yet. I really shouldn't have an opinion about her, but as this is my blog, I'm going to.

I won't vote for her. She represents so many things that I don't want in our government and in our families.

1. First hot button is that she is pro-life even in terrible situations. Here's my stance on pro-life. For me, as it affects my life, I am pro-life. I hate abortion and if I could I would save every baby - fetus - that I could. I don't think any woman should go thru the pain that it causes and I always want to save the baby. I would raise them all if I could. For my children I will raise them to follow through with pregnancies and if they feel they can't raise the child, then consider adoption (though I will be first in line to adopt the child). If any friend asks me whether they should get an abortion, I will always say no, and help them work through any issues they are facing. I think there should be programs teaching women about adoption and valuing life.

But politically? Politically I am pro-choice. I do not think that the government should make medical decisions on whether someone should be able to get an abortion. I don't think men or women with college degrees in political science should be making a medical decision about my life and my children's life. I think that any debate about the life and soul of the unborn fetus should remain in the realm of religion and steer clear of the political arena. Although my religious beliefs tell me that my tiny fetus has a soul, I don't want my government to dictate that. It has also been proven over the years that even if government prohibits abortion, abortions still happen. They happen illegally and not only are they successful at killing the fetus, they often kill the mother. I can't understand why so many people believe this is a better system.

So, I am happy that Palin decided to have her son when she knew he was going to have difficulties. I am happy that Palin's daughter is choosing to have her child and that their family is supportive of that. I am not happy that she would want to impose her beliefs on the rest of the nation.

2. My second issue with her is the question of why she would want to leave her family and run for VP. It feels to me like she is running away from her family. She returned to work when her son was three or four days old. While this shows a great dedication to her job, it also shows a lack of dedication to her own family. I do have my old fashioned ways, and I do believe that if you have the ability, then you should put your family first. Make financial and personal sacrifices in order to provide the best for your family. And then she chose to run for a national office where everyone in the United States of America who listens to the news now knows that her daughter is 17, pregnant, and unwed. If I were that daughter I would be devastated. I would feel betrayed by my own mother.

3. And in my book, I don't think McCain should have even asked her. It's hard to turn down the VP job, and I get that, but McCain, knowing her family situation should have let her be. She could very well be ready for office in about ten years. By that time her son will be older and her daughter will be more settled. McCain wanted to gain and so he put himself before her family. No, he has no obligation to her family, but in my world, people consider others before themselves. And children first and foremost.

4. And then the news that Palin attended meetings supporting Alaska's secession from the USA. If her reason for accepting the VP position is patriotism, I think that reason just flew out the window.

5. And then there are questions as to whether she was chosen because she was qualified, or chosen because she was female. I am an electrical engineer and went to classes full of males and maybe one or two other females. People tried to give me extra opportunities because I was female or hold me back because I was female. I had different expectations because I was female. I hated it. Hated every minute of it. I wanted my opportunities because I deserved them. I wanted to get an A when I deserved an A and fail when I deserved to fail. While it would be grand to see a female as president or vice president, I would like her to be there because she worked hard and deserved to be there. I would like her to be there because she is just better at getting things done than the rest of us. I do not want her to be there because McCain wants the stubborn female Clinton voters.

6. And McCain is no spring chicken. Though he is going strong now, no one can deny that he is 72. I want his back up to be ready for anything. Ready for if McCain has to go to the hospital for a night or if he has an unexpected clot or any of the many ailments that start hitting when you get up in years.

7. And then there is her speech. She is a wonderful speaker. Her speaking can make a person become mesmerized. But.... do you know what the first half of her speech was focused on? On her family. She focused on the one thing the rest of us were not supposed to focus on. She has decided that in order for us to vote on her we need to know about her wonderful family and how they all act and how she interacts with them. But as soon as someone else focuses on her family they are being sexist. So apparently we are supposed to fixate on the great things about her family and sweep everything else under the rug. When anyone is running for one of the highest offices in America they are going to be investigated. It comes with the territory. And as has been found out by almost every news network is the majority of information she gave about her political career or Obama's stances is wrong. Not just stretching the truth, but untruths. Her speech has gathered great numbers of followers too. And being a good speaker is not a qualification for presidency - yes the same can be said about Obama. It is important, but so is being knowledgeable and having a good education and experiences.

I know politicians stretch the truth. I know it's normal. I don't do well with blatant lies though.

I'm pretty sure I could babble on about this for a long time. There are just so many things about this that bother me. I know it is her choice to run, and I would never try to take that away from her. Even so, my heart hurts for her and her family.


http://www.slate.com/id/2199131/

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0908/13098.html http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-j-elisberg/the-worst-vice-presidenti_b_122491.html

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/9/2/163035/8405/137/583631 http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080904/ap_on_el_pr/cvn_fact_check


http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hjGaAjQoUCE3VQ4N3M852LEdOVtwD9304JE80

http://featuresblogs.chicagotribune.com/entertainment_popmachine/2008/09/heart-to-republ.html

http://www.crosscut.com/whitehouse/17341/

http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/0908/Sexism_complaints_no_longer_whining.html?showall

Not Shy

My son is not shy. For a while he would act like he was shy, but he's done with that now. When we go to the grocery store he will smile and wave at every person that walks by. He's the biggest flirt I've seen.

Last night we went to Bitter's house to play Rock Band and Guitar Hero. There were around ten people there at a time - Handsome being the only person under let's say 27 years old. Handsome ran around that place like he owned it. He smiled at everyone and picked up every remote he wasn't supposed to have. He followed the dog around with the dog toys and constantly tried to steal the dog food.

I'm glad he seems to have the confidence to go to people without holding our hands. I would prefer that he holds our hands, but it's good to know he has a little bit of independence.

Discipline

Ick. I hate the discipline part of parenting. I know I need to discipline, and I will, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

DH has his way of disciplining and I have my way.

DH is what I would call old fashioned. If Handsome does something wrong, he will yell at him, tell him what he did wrong, and spank. Then there will be a staring contest. DH doesn't spank hard, so it doesn't actually hurt. As a result, Handsome will look at your face to see if you meant to punish or if you were just playing with him. If you start to laugh he will laugh like nothing happened, and continue playing. If you remain with a straight face so he knows you are serious he will start to cry and know he did something wrong.

For me, I warn "Handsome, don't pour milk on the table. If you do again then I will take the milk away." He'll look at me, sometimes sad, and sometimes with a smirk, and then he'll continue what he was doing. I then take the milk away. Sometimes he is sad and sometimes he doesn't really care and he'll just go pick something else to play with.

For a while I tried to do the staring thing that DH does. I can't do it. I see his little face and I just have to smile. His little pouty face is so cute, and when he has that little smirk how can you not laugh? Well, laughing defeats the whole discipline purpose. I always lose the staring contests and DH chides me for this. Oops.

Today I decided to start the whole time out thing. Handsome poured his milk on the table - A LOT of milk. So I told him he wasn't supposed to do that and then sat him down in a corner while I went to get paper towels. He tried to get up a few times, and I just put him right back. He cried his little heart out, but I managed to remain strong. Once he sat still I cleaned up the milk and then went to sit next to him. I told him he wasn't supposed to put milk on the table, and then told him I loved him and held him. As soon as I was holding him he was ok again. He had the little tears on his cheeks, but he was ok. After that he didn't want me to let him go, so he sat with me on the couch for a little while. He probably didn't cry for more than 30 sec - 1 min, but it was enough to be effective. I know he's supposed to sit still for an entire minute, but I figured since it was the first time I would give him some slack.

Baby Kisses

I love baby kisses. As I've mentioned before, Handsome has never been a kissy baby. We kiss him all the time, but he doesn't really care much about it. If you put your face out there and say, "Can I have a kiss?" he'll laugh and run away. It's funny, so I still do it.

But today? Today I got baby kisses. I love them! I put my face out there and asked for a kiss and he actually came to me and gave me a kiss! And then he repeatedly came back to me and stuck out his face asking for kisses! I love it! He hasn't gotten the concept of closing his mouth though, so I get open mouthed slobbery kisses. I secretly wipe my mouth when he walks away, but I still love my little kisses. I'd give you the number of kisses, but they were so many I couldn't count. Sweet baby kisses.

No girls

DH told me last night he hopes he never gets a daughter. I have to admit I stopped breathing for a minute. No girls?? I want at least one little girl. He sounded pretty serious when he said it too. It came completely out of the blue as we were watching the Democratic National Convention after Handsome had gone to bed.

I asked him what he had said to make sure I actually heard him right. "Why?" He said it's because if he has a girl he will always be worried. He will worry about her being hurt by men. He doesn't want to have to worry about some man abusing her physically or emotionally. He doesn't want to think that someone would hurt his little girl. He said there are too many bad men out there.

Did I mention I love my DH?

Maybe I'll drink the milk?

So yesterday was day two of the switching milk from the bottle to the sippy cup.

DH has the typical guy way of doing things, "He'll do this or else." I try to opt for the more subtle sneaky ways of convincing, and DH just outright says things must be done. I'm thinking this might help us later on because if one of us can't communicate clearly with Handsome the other one must be able to.

So yesterday afternoon Handsome woke up from his nap and DH took him outside to play. He didn't give him any food or water in hopes that when he got back inside DH could hand him the sippy cup full of milk and Handsome would have no choice but to drink.

They played outside for about an hour and then I got home so they came inside. DH handed Handsome the sippy cup, but Handsome knew what was up. No drinking milk from the sippy cup. He played and kept trying to give the sippy cup back. DH would try to put it in his mouth and Handsome would squirm his way out of DH's hands. He was tired and hungry, you could tell from his almost lethargic movements, but he would not give in.

I couldn't take it anymore so I made food and brought the water sippy cup to Handsome. At first he wouldn't even take the water because he was unsure whether it had milk or not.

We sat down on the kitchen floor with the milk close by and the water way over by DH. He ate for a little bit and then got thirsty. Did he take the closest sippy cup? Of course not. He walked all the way over to DH and got the water. He chugged for a while and then came back to eat more. He sat back down in my lap where now both the water and milk sat in his lap. He ate a little more and then a miracle happened. He drank the water... and then... when he thought no one was looking... he took a tiny little sip of the milk. Immediately it was followed up with water because you never know what that sippy cup milk could contain right? But then he tried the milk again... a little longer sip this time.

I tried to get DH's attention, but he was looking the opposite direction. I finally got his attention, but by that point, Handsome had been distracted and he got up to play. Boo.

But the stubborn streak had been broken. I'm not sure if it was the forcing initially, or the sneaky mix of water and milk sippy cups. Most likely it was because he finally just got curious. It was something new and he was unsure. It took a little while to get used to it, but he got there.

After his dinner was finished he would occasionally walk over to the milk and just try it. Never big sips. He just wanted to test it. To make sure it was safe. To make sure it was still there. To make sure it hadn't miraculously changed back into water.

And when he was tired and it was time to go to bed, I was holding him and gave him the milk sippy cup, and he drank. It wasn't the typical devouring of bottled milk; it was more a resigned, "I'm so tired, and I don't have the energy to resist any more. I do like milk, and I have no control over what container it comes in. Please just let me sleep."

So we are closer. I don't think he is going to resist for too much longer. Tomorrow could be a renewed energy to fight the milk sippy cup, but I think he's already accepted that the bottle is no more. This will make church more difficult, but oh well. People would have started giving me the evil eye for giving him a bottle anyway.

Laundry Money

In Ghana, the women wash the family's clothes. If someone forgot and left money in their pockets the women get to keep the money. Fair and square. Finders keepers, losers weepers.

DH does the laundry at our house.

I left $10 in my pocket on Monday.

Crap.

Doctor says no more bottles

So the doctor asked us yesterday if Handsome is still taking a bottle. Yes, for milk. She said no more bottle - adamantly. I don't understand this seemingly ardent battle against bottles and getting children off them so early. I don't get it. If he likes the bottle, he likes the bottle. He doesn't take it in bed. He gets maybe two a day. If he doesn't get them, he's not grumpy, he doesn't care. So really, what's the harm in drinking milk from a bottle every now and then? He's not going to waltz into kindergarten with a bottle tucked into his bag for naptime. He's not going to walk into his first college class and need to quickly take a swig of milk from his bottle to calm himself before class. So really, what's the rush??

And to go even further, why is the sippy cup so much better than the bottle? It is just a different shaped bottle. It's not a cup. It's a bottle with handles.

Nevertheless, the doctor - and the rest of American society - says with a stern look that Handsome is too old to drink from a bottle.

So last night I put a little milk into one of his sippy cups. I sat down on the couch with him and handed him his sippy cup milk. He took the sippy cup quickly and started downing the milk. No time for breathing, he was thirsty. And then he stopped. He looked up at me perplexed and then at his sippy cup. "Mom, this is not water. Sippy cups are for water. Didn't you get the memo?" Ok, he didn't say that, but his eyes are very expressive. He threw the milk sippy cup away like it was contaminated and got down on the floor. I turned away to look at the computer and not two seconds later I heard Handsome say "eh?" heard massive gulping as he downed some sort of liquid and felt him handing something to me. In my head I was thinking, "Yay! He's drinking the milk!"

No. He was not drinking the milk, because if you recall sippy cups are for water. When I turned around I saw Handsome handing me the sippy cup with milk as he was drinking the water from his other sippy cup like he hadn't had water to drink for weeks. He finished gulping and then was breathing heavily to make up for all the time he had been drinking and not breathing. He pushed the milk sippy cup further on my lap and away from him. I'm sure I saw a defiant look hiding in the back of his eyes. He left the milk sippy cup and walked around the living room gulping water until he finished the entire cup of water. Then he brought that sippy cup to me to get more water.

No amount of re-handing the milk sippy cup to him would convince him to drink from it again. He had been fooled once and it wouldn't happen again. I even tried to angle it so that he couldn't see the liquid inside so maybe he would think it had water. Nope. He's a smart little bugger.

He can get his dairy from yogurt. Who needs milk anyway. Stubborn child.

15 Month Baby Stats

Handsome went to the doctor for his 15 month check up. These are his stats:

23.12 lbs - 45%
29.5 in - 7%
19.25 in - 90%

You know what those numbers mean? It means he's back on the charts again! Grow, Handsome, grow!

He did really well at the doctor's office. He ran around the waiting room and flirted with everyone there. He even smiled at the nurse and initially at the doctor. When we put him on the scale the nurse gave him one of those tongue sticks with a sticker on the top and it kept him occupied enough so that he didn't cry on the scale. That was the first time he didn't cry.

The Dr. said that overall he was doing well. She said he is doing well with understanding what we say, but delayed in speech. I knew he was going to be delayed speaking, and thought he would be delayed with understanding as well. She also said he was independent. Yes, definitely independent.

I let him get the chickenpox vaccine, but did not get the MMR. She told me all the horrible things that can happen if he isn't vaccinated, but I still didn't get him the vaccination. I will call the county and see if I can get the vaccinations in separate doses. No, I don't think it causes autism, but I do think it might be a contributing factor. Anyhow, I will get him vaccinated, I'm just going to delay it for a little while.

Baby Show

I had to come home early today so that DH could go to school, so of course I was watching the baby shows on the Health Channel. Handsome was sitting on my lap watching with me and eating his lunch. He pointed at the TV when one of the babies was crying. I said, "That's a baby. Someday you might have a little brother or sister to play with. Wouldn't that be fun? Don't you want a little brother or sister?" At this point he started to vehemently shake his head no! HAHA!!! I'm not sure just how much he understands at this point, but it seems he is enjoying being an only child. :)

Date Rape Drug

Tragedy happened this weekend to my bf. She has had so many terrible things happen to her lately and it just seems to be getting worse every time.

This weekend she went out for a girls night with her SIL and another friend who was the designated driver. They went to a piano bar which is frequented by an older crowd and not really the crazy bar scene. They were talking to a guy for most of the night and he offered to buy them drinks. They agreed. A little while later bf told the dd that she had a headache and was going to the bathroom. The next thing she remembers is waking up the next morning.

They had given her the date rape drug. My bf ended up lucky, her SIL did not. In the morning she got the story of what happened. Apparently the DD noticed after awhile that no one had come back from the bathroom. She started searching for them and found my bf outside the bar passed out on the concrete with a group of girls around her. The police were called.

They saw the surveillance video. You could see four guys near a car and the two girls shaking their heads like they didn't want to go. There was one guy standing behind each of them. They decided to put her SIL in the car first. As they were focused on getting her in the car, my bf wandered off. They turned around didn't see her and drove off.

Her SIL woke up Sunday morning in an unknown apartment next to an unknown man. He drove her to my bf apartment. She had been brutally raped. Bruises, bleeding, in need of stitches, and in severe pain. Their blood tested positive for the date rape drug, and her SIL tested positive for rape. The rest of her blood work is still processing.

They have the surveillance videos, pictures from bf's camera, their clothes, and fluids from inside her SIL. They have the evidence and they are charging the guys with kidnapping, rape, attempted kidnapping, attempted rape, and two charges of something like drugging.

If these police can't catch these men soon then there is something terribly wrong with the system. I want them to sit in prison for a very long time.

I haven't been able to focus on anything since she told me about this. I just want to fly there and stay with her and make sure she is ok. I want her to be ok. I want all the drama to stop in her life. I want to wake up and realize this was just a bad dream, and that she and her SIL are ok.

If you pray, please pray for my bf and her SIL.

Sister4 returned - Again.

Ok, so here we are going to delve into Ghanaian culture a little further. It's confusing to me, so I'm sure it will be confusing to everyone else as well.

There is a lot of local religion in Ghana - the many facets of which I doubt I will ever learn. The return of Sister4 is deep in the heart of local beliefs. The return of Sister4 they believe is because of the "dwarfs." Now when I say dwarf I don't mean a person who is physically short. It is the translation much like if I said "My stomach is white." It means "I'm happy." They are the literal translation and the actual translation.

So the belief is that there are these beings that live in the bush. Very few people have seen the dwarfs. They believe that if the dwarfs tell you to do something, you must. If you don't then they will kill you. DH says people walk around looking rather crazed so you just know that the dwarfs were talking to them.

Now to me this sounds like people who are actually mentally ill, but I suppose I should keep my peanut gallery comments out.

On Saturday the dwarfs spoke to DHs step mother (the mother of Sister4) and told her to walk and get Sister4. She walked all the way to their village, found Sister4, and brought her home. There was no fight. Somehow the boys knew that the dwarfs had sent her and so they were afraid to do anything. They knew that if they did anything to stop her then the dwarfs would kill them.

So Sister4 is home again. DH spoke to her and she said they did not violate her in any way, and he seemed inclined to believe her. So now she is going to stay with her mother's parents for a while in hopes that the boys won't come for her there.

If she is pregnant I told him that I would want to adopt the baby. I don't want her to get an abortion, but if she had the baby she would have to give him/her to her parents because according to culture, the baby doesn't belong to her since she's not married. The child becomes a bastard child and treated poorly. I would rather take the child here so that he/she is cherished as one of my own than ridiculed as a mistake.

My Puppy

This is Dog. He is my first baby. I got him as a puppy, but when I left for the Peace Corps I had to leave my four legged baby with first my roomate and then with my parents. He just joined me again in late 'o5. Poor dog doesn't have it nearly as easy as he used to. His back legs don't work well so he can't climb stairs anymore. We're also trying to merge Ghanaian and American culture and in his case, the Ghanaian culture seems to have won. They treat their dogs like, well, dogs. Americans treat their dogs like babies. We go see him occasionally, but he isn't the constant presence that he used to be. Poor Dog.

Kisses and Grandma

Handsome I think hit a couple milestones today. Well, not technically milestones, but I think they are pretty important. Twice today he just walked up to DH, who was sitting on the floor, and kissed him on the lips!!! Handsome has never been a kissy baby. He'll hug, but he's never just walked up and kissed. A couple times he's done it to me, but I wasn't sure if that's what he was actually doing. But today it was obvious. He kissed his Daddy. Too cute!

Then I was on the phone with my mother. DH had gone upstairs. When I got off the phone, Handsome of course came for the phone. I told him it was Grandma on the phone and he pointed to a photo on the wall of his Grandma! He actually understood me! Yay!! Now granted the Grandma he pointed to was actually DHs mom, but still, it was a Grandma!

One wife stolen, A different wife returned

So for those following the drama unfolding with DHs family, here's the most recent update.

Another wrinkle in the story is that the guy stealing DHs sister is DH's, brother's, brother in law. Did you follow? DH's younger brother - around let's say 22 years old - just got married about six months ago. He married a girl from a nearby village. The elders arranged it and they brought the girl to live with DH's family and marry DH's brother. She's the one that I previously discussed tho allegedly dropped out of school. Remember? OK, well her direct brother is the one kidnapping DH's sister. So basically if they did get married it would be a brother and sister married to another family's brother and sister. This is not typically done, but does happen.

I should give names to them huh? OK, let's call DH's brother, Brother2, and his wife is Brother2Wife. Brother2Wife's brother is Prick1. DH's sister who was taken is Sister4.

So, as I posted earlier, Prick1 kidnapped Sister4 again today. Brother2 is angry just like DH is angry. Brother2 decided that it was his fault because he had married Brother2Wife. He felt like Prick1 wouldn't have even known Sister4 existed if he hadn't married Brother2Wife. So, today, in an effort to get Prick1 to let Sister4 come home, he told the elders to take Brother2Wife, his wife, back to her family. So they took her today. After six months of marriage, Brother2 gave up his wife in order to potentially clear the way for Sister4 to come home. He also stated that he didn't want to be married to such a troublesome family.

I don't really know what to think about this whole situation. I'm glad he is trying to do something to help, and I know it will be less trouble for the family if they never have to deal with that family again, but he's been married to her for six months. They seemed to like each other. And she didn't really get a say in this. Her brother ruined her marriage. For my part, I'm just praying she isn't pregnant. Maybe it was never consummated. Who knows.

The whole thing is like a soap opera. I'd rather leave the soap operas on TV and have a calmer life.

Keep your hands off her

They took DHs sister again. They brought her back on Wed and took her again on Thur. Why would you go through the trouble or returning her just to take her again? They came to take her in the middle of the day when all the men were all out working on the farms so only women and children were left at home.

I have nothing but hatred for these boys. I don't like to say that I hate people, but stealing someone else's child? I hate that and the desire that leads to that. And raping a child? I despise that. I don't have a great vocabulary, but if I did I would go through every word to describe the depth and color of my hatred.

I've been trying to find a justification for their actions and I have come up short. It's not like they couldn't have found a girl that was not in school. It's not like they couldn't have found a girl that they knew. She was not the only girl available. Why not go the traditional way and find someone where all family members agree to the marriage? And really? They wouldn't have had to try to hard to convince DH's step mother for the girl. The girl may have even agreed if asked. Why not ask? Why would you force a girl, or any person really?

I don't understand it. If this were my daughter you can bet on me going to every person that I could. I would talk to the police, the chief, the elders, the boys parents, the Girl Child people, the headmaster of the school, the landlord, the priest, the local government representatives. You name the person and I'd be there knocking on the door. I understand that the boys are stupid and could get violent with myself or my daughter, so I would find an intermediary, but it would be an immediate intermediary.

I am praying she is safe. I am praying at least the boy's family is taking good care of her.

This has been a rude awakening to me. I like to live in a world where bad things like this don't happen. They are only stories of what could happen, but good is always triumphant. Here, good didn't win, and I don't like it.

God, I don't understand.

DH's Crusade

DH apparently has his own personal crusade. And really, I'm proud of him for this. He's been going through a really rough patch so I thought I would brag on him a little. He doesn't really read this blog, but maybe it'll help in some silent way.

DH stands up for the Girl Child.

As most people know, education in developing nations is a little sporadic. Schools are hard to come by and once at the school it is hard to attract students and keep them. In America school is free for everyone. Not only is it free, but there are laws saying we must send our children to school. In this way we are trying our hardest to educate every single child and give every child that chance.

In Ghana, they haven't yet reached that point. Education is for those who can afford it. Students must pay school fees, buy their own school desk and chair, buy their own books, and their own uniforms. Everything is mandatory in order to attend the school. The government proclaims that books are provided for every school, but when versions are updated, they are not supplied. When books are worn from years of use, they are not replaced. When a single corrupt person somewhere in the chain from getting books ordered to getting them to the schools steals the books or the funds, the schools never get the books. Not only do the students bear the burden of paying for school supplies, their families must make do without the money they spent on education and without the extra hands to farm to feed the family.

Families have many children for many reasons. They don't have birth control, they don't know how many will actually survive, and the more children they have, the more hands to work the farm. When one child leaves for school, they have a huge financial burden. The school has taken one who will farm, fetch water, clean, hunt, cook, etc., and left the family with a seemingly non contributing family member constantly asking for money for school and food to eat. A family sacrifices a lot to send a child to school.

Catholic Relief Services used to provide free lunch to elementary school students to encourage families to send their children to school. Sometimes this meal was the only food that child would get for the day. Catholic Relief Services recently suspended their program for lack of funds. Bad economy.

When it comes to decided who to send to school, little girls get the short end of the stick. Girls do a huge amount of the household chores and moms struggle to get everything done without them. Plus men need to be the head of the household so why educate a girl? A girl needs to know how to cook, clean, harvest, and care for children. They don't need to learn anything in school. A man however must provide for his family and if he can manage to get a non-farming job, then his family will eat well and afford a nice home. A man wants a woman who can cook well and listen to instructions. ... Or so some think.

What often happens is that girls are sent to school until they are old enough to marry. As soon as they are able to marry, the families remove the girls from school and send them to the man's home. Many times it is arranged by both families.

In order to stop the removal of girls from schools, the government passed legislation that says a girl can not be taken from school to be married. She must first finish school.

You see, a guy can be visiting a friend in a neighboring village and see a girl. He likes the way this girl looks, so he comes back a few days later with a few of his pals. When she is alone on a path, they take her. They don't care if she is a student or not. She has been "eloped." She has no choice but to stay. She is but a female. They watch her every move to ensure that she does not leave.

Even if her family can get her back, she will have a rough time. As you can assume, she has likely been raped and may be pregnant. I should add these girls can be as young as 13 or 14. Who would want to marry a girl who is known to not be a virgin? She will often refuse to return to school at this point. Who would have the motivation to go anymore?

DH takes education very seriously. He believes everyone should be educated. The sacrifices made are necessary and worth every minute after you graduate. He would go days between eating when in school. His family did not have money. His grandfather sold the family's cows to pay for his education. After the first year he qualified for a scholarship and had the last two years paid for. Education means everything to him.

So when DH sees a family keeping a child from school he gets irate. Especially if the child wants to go to school.

He called the Girl Child agency on his older sister because she was keeping his younger sister to take care of her children and not letting the younger sister go to school. They forced her to give his little sister back to their mother so that she could go to school. She started first grade at 13 years old.

He called the Girl Child agency on his aunt. She was keeping his cousin out of school. His cousin now lives with DH's father and is attending school.

DH nearly called the Girl Child agency on his own father and brother when his brother married a girl that was formerly a student. It was being debated whether the former part was before they got married or a result thereof. They convinced him she hadn't been a student for a while, but he still isn't happy with them.

The most recent is with DH's half sister. She was eloped last week. This hit him hard since he is now so far away. He has been on the phone day and night trying to get her back. He is not sleeping from the worry about her. He called the head of the Girl Child agency and she told him that she would take care of it, but she was in a different region of the country and wouldn't be able to help for a week. This is hard to take when you don't know what is happening to your sister. Finally all the threats to the guys who took her paid off, and she came home yesterday. They are going to take her to the hospital to make sure she is ok - at least physically. DH is afraid she won't return to school and that she may be pregnant. She is around 16 years old.

People in his village and his entire family know not to take a girl out of school. DH is not afraid to call the authorities on you. He seems to be the guardian of all the students in his village.

He stands up for people who can't stand up for themselves and I love him for it.

I love you, DH. I'm so blessed that God gave you to me and me to you. Our son is lucky to have you as a father and an example of how a man should be. And if we ever have a little girl, I know you will always guard her safety and her education and love her for all that she is and all that she can be.


(I didn't proofread, so JC, did you find anything?)

Pictures

I've decided that I need to start posting pictures. Pictures make blogs more interesting. I will stick by rules set in my family, but if I post pictures of my dog, for instance, I'm good right? So my goal is one picture per week. Think I'll be able to keep up with that goal? I don't, but I'll try.

Library Lullabies

Last night Handsome and I went to the semi-local library for Library Lullabies. We met a few other mothers there in our local mom's group. Handsome LOVED it!!! It was TOO cute!

We got there after they had already started, but I swear they started early and we were on time. We squeezed between all the kids and mommies and sat next to one of our friends. I sat on the floor and put Handsome in my lap. The woman reading the book was very animated. She changed her voices and waved her arms, and Handsome thrived on it.

He started out sitting very seriously. He looked around the room and first noticed the huge stuffed gorilla in front of us. He pointed and looked back at me. I told him it was a gorilla and tried to redirect his attention to the storyteller. And then she said something along the lines of "And the bear gave a big YAAAAWWWNNNN!" He looked over at her, and sat back in my lap with his hands laying on my arms in his lap. She had gotten his attention. Each time she would make a big sound or move her arms like she was stretching, he would start to smile and then he would look back at me. It was like he was saying "MOM, Did you SEE that?!" but at the same time needing to be reassured that he could like what she was doing. It was TOO cute!! After the bear yawning book she moved onto an animal sound book and you know he loved that. The cutest part was always that once he started to smile he would always look back at me.

We also sang some songs like Itsy Bitsy Spider (however she sang the Eensy Weensy Spider) and the Wheels on the Bus. Again he loved it. She could very well have been tone deaf, but he loved it.

But of course he's 15 months and can only sit still for so long. He saw some of the other kids running around and decided to join in the fun. The lady decided that we needed to do a "parade" so all the kids walked/ran around the tables in the room. Handsome did not see the point in this, and frankly neither did I. He instead went straight for the laptop one of the older siblings had brought.

After about 30 min the lady decided that no one had the attention span anymore so she ended it. It was fine because really, they didn't have the attention span. I loved the small time that we had though because for as long as Handsome had that attention span, it was priceless.

Oh and the bedtime story that I read to Handsome every night? He has started repeating the one part that says "dirt dug burrow" after I say it. Yay! The child needs to start copying stuff. He just doesn't seem to want to copy anything we say even though I'm pretty sure he could if he wanted to. He may very well end up to be a very independent little guy. I'm very proud of his "duh duh duh" after I say "dirt dug burrow" though. Again, the small things.

I talk funny.

Apparently no one can understand me. My son's name is common. Very common. In the top 20 boys names. And yet when I tell people his name, I always get a confused look. "What?" they say. I repeat and then they say what they think I said. I get all sorts of variations that sound NOTHING like his name.

Apparently I talk funny. I didn't think I did. I thought I had a normal, bland American accent. Even if I had a Texan accent, I still live in a southern state, so people should understand.

Really. His name is common. Why is it so hard?

But it must just be me. Even when I give people my name, I get all sorts of variations. Again, my name is common. Not as common as my son, but it was featured on a prime time sitcom. That should mean they will all know it, but no. You would not believe how many variations of my name exist. I usually just give up and say yes. I claim all variations on my name. If it sounds like my name, I'll answer. Even the expletives that are similar? I'll answer.

At least my last name changed when I got married. People would alter my last name and think it was my first name. Yes. First alter. Then change positions.

Of course my new last name causes it's own confusion. Apparently when I say "o" people think I said "l" Seriously. Do those even remotely sound alike?? And a consonant in the place of a vowel makes no sense at all, so why would that be your first guess??

Pink Highlighter

I decided to use my pink highlighter at work today and it made me happy.

Sometimes it's the small things.

To bed without nursing

Well, I finally did it. I put Handsome to bed without nursing him last night. Talk about ripping your heart out. It's like finally cutting the cord. I wasn't ready, but I know Handsome was. My milk was there and he just didn't want it. I supposed every step is going to hurt this much. Each time he grows up and takes another step towards independence it's going to tug at my heart.

I can't promise I won't have a relapse tonight and try to nurse him again, but the one night is a step in the right direction. Actually, I won't try again. My milk really should be gone by now.

Yesterday, August 10, 2008 was the last day of nursing for Handsome and me.

Sleeping Beauty

or Sleeping Handsome. Today Handsome fell asleep in the car after a 10 min drive home from Target. I went to get him out of his car seat and he stayed asleep and just put his head on my shoulder. I LOVE that! I have always seen other children do this, but Handsome always wakes up when I pick him up. He stayed asleep all the way up the flight upstairs to lay down in his crib. I hope this trend continues. I love the feeling of a sleeping child on my arm with his little head on my shoulder. Love it.