Wrote a week or so ago on my phone and never posted:
Handsome got his first stomach virus last weekend. I heard him yell for me on the monitor. He only yelled once, but he never yells for me at 4am unless there is something actually wrong. So I dragged myself out of bed and went to check on him. I heard him mumbling to himself that Mommy and Daddy weren't coming so he had to figure out what to do. I opened the door and asked what was wrong. He said he was all wet. I asked if he had peed assuming I was right. He said, "No. I hiccuped and got wet from my mouth." Eww. I turned on the light and saw where he had just made it to the door and it was all over his clothes. I cleaned him up and called DH to come, partially because Owen said he wanted to show Daddy and partially because I wanted him to bring the cleaning supplies from downstairs.
DH ended up sleeping in Handsome's room to make sure he made it to the potty or the bucket if he needed to and because Handsome was still a little afraid since this was all new to him. I went back to my room to wait for Junior to wake up for his next feeding. Two hours later Handsome was in need of his bucket. The scary part was he seemed to be heaving in his sleep and didn't wake up until DH made him get up and turn to the bucket.
During the day he would act fine until he needed to run to the bathroom. He had very little appetite though and all I could get him to eat was Popsicles and popcorn.
The next morning he called me at seven am and he had throw up in his bed. It looked like he had done it while sleeping again because it was all dry. Luckily though that was the last time and he felt good the next day.
All in all I think our first bout with a stomach virus went well. No one else in the family got it.
Two days ago Junior decided it was his turn to be fussed over. When he woke up from his nap he was feeling warm. When I checked his temp he had a low grade fever. I checked his mouth and he does have at least one tooth coming in - if not two I'm assuming that's where his fever is coming from since he doesn't have any other symptoms. Then yesterday while Handosome and I were out playing, DH sent me a text saying Junior's temp had risen to 102.7.
And now the update:
Junior's fever lasted about three days. After his fever ended he got a rash that covered all of his body but didn't seem to bother him. Doing my typical internet research (that probably isn't a good idea in general) I found that his symptoms matched Roseola (or Sixth disease). It is apparently very common in kids between six months and three years. After about a day his rash was gone and he was doing great.
I checked his mouth and now he has six teeth (three on top and three on bottom) and two more are about to break through (one on top and one on bottom). He is chewing on anything he can get his mouth on.
Around the end of last week it was apparently my turn to get sick. I got a stomach virus. Not sure if it was the same one that Handsome had or not. I spent many hours in the bathroom and ended up with a fever too. DH actually cleaned the bathroom for me because I was truly that sick. He won lots of points for that one. The bathroom was absolutely spotless when he was done. My virus lasted for about 24 hours - maybe a little more - and then I was good again. I thank the Lord for that one because on Saturday I was alone taking care of both boys and that would have been impossible with the stomach virus I had.
I guess it's DH's turn now. We'll see if he gets anything.
Showing posts with label Me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Me. Show all posts
Monday, January 31, 2011
Friday, December 10, 2010
Long overdue update.
I know. I'm behind. Really behind. It's so hard to find a spare moment these days - especially a coherent spare moment. I often think about what I would like to write. There is a lot. I just don't get the chance. I'm going to try to make a quick update. Even if I forget a bunch or repeat something, at least I'll have something written down.
Junior -
Junior is growing and changing every day. He is eight months old now. He has four teeth (and has had them since seven months) and has used them to chomp down on me more than once. He has an awesomely powerful pinch as can be seen by all the red spots on my arms and chest where he got bored or curious while nursing. He can pick up a single grain of rice on the carpet. He often picks up small particles on the ground that he knows he's not supposed to have. He picks them up. Sits down (from crawling) and then smiles and looks at me like, "Yeah, I got it. That's right. I know I'm not technically supposed to have it. What are you going to do about it." Oh yes, the child knows when he is doing something he isn't supposed to. If I'm not looking directly at him, he'll grunt or start babbling to make me look at him and then he smiles the smile that I know means he's up to no good.
He had a good stretch where he would sleep at least a six hour stretch and then a four hour stretch. That period of time passed too quickly. Now he's back to getting up every two hours or so. It's a different cry now though. It's not the reflux, this-is-painful cry anymore. Now it's more of an I'm-lonely cry. He has also decided that 4am or thereabouts is time to be up and playing.
He is a crawling champion. He's darn fast. He pulls up on everything. He can walk along the side of the coffee table, of course holding on with both hands. He has stood up without holding onto anything when he is holding his toy with both hands and not paying attention. It doesn't last long though. If you hold his hands he will walk with you.
He has lost weight. Yes. Lost. Not just evened out, but lost. He's gone down by about four ounces in the past two months. I'm not sure about his height. Now, the only disclaimer I will give to that is that at his last checkup he hadn't pooped in about three weeks, so that backlog could very well have added to his previous weight. Now, per doctor's orders, we give him pears everyday to help with his regularity. In case you were wondering, pears work. He will eat two jars of food and 6-8 oz of cereal each day in addition to nursing when I am home and pumped milk when I'm at work. My supply has dwindled considerably and I'm terrified that he's not getting enough nutrition. He still has tons of energy though, so who knows. You can really tell from his pictures though how my chubby baby has become a slender baby. He doesn't look unhealthily skinny, but it is just a huge difference from where he started and from where Handsome was at this point.
His eczema is still here. It has not gotten as bad as it was when he was a few weeks old, but it is still there. I think that time was so bad because it was infected. Now he just has dry patches all over himself - a few of them are red and require medicine. We put thick lotion on him twice a day and his skin just soaks it up and still dries out. I wish the doctors would test him for allergies to see if we could stop some of this by diet, but they just tell us that his test could be inaccurate. I get that, and I can amend when I need to, but I'd like to relieve his poor skin if at all possible.
Stubborn. The boy is stubborn. There is no distracting him if he wants something. I can't even count the number of times I have to tell him no or redirect him. He knows exactly what he wants. If you take that away, be prepared for screaming. His smiles are not as common as Handsome's are, but when you get them, they are awesome. His giggles are the best.
He can climb the stairs. Scary.
Handsome -
Handsome is doing awesome in preschool. He loves it. On days that he can't go, he cries cause he wants to be in preschool. We got his first criticism from his teacher. She told DH that Handsome has been whining a lot. She said a lot of the students have been lately so they have been trying to work on it. We are reinforcing the "don't whine" rule at home. We were previously, but not as often as we are now. I'm not sure if it's helping anything, but at least he is aware.
Everyday he comes home singing whatever song they learned in school that day. I'm impressed that he can remember all the words to the songs and whatever dance moves they taught with the songs. It is obvious that this is his favorite part of preschool. The teacher said one day that he was reluctant to wear their paint shirt to paint. Crazy kid, right? He does not care at all about art projects. But music? He loves music. They put up a project where they had to color a corn on the cob and glue on the kernels. All the girls had theirs colored in the lines and colored as much of the paper as they could and then the glued on so many kernels you knew there had to be extra layers underneath that you couldn't even see. Handsome? He colored with the crayon the least amount he could possibly do and still have qualified as coloring the paper and glued on the fewest number of kernels in a similar manner. Just by looking at it, I can see the teacher saying, "Handsome, just color a little bit more. Just glue a few more pieces on." And Handsome reluctantly putting more on, but longing to go play with toys or talk to whoever was closest.
Whenever one of the other parents in the class realize that DH or I are Handsome's parents they always say, "Oh you're Handsome's parent? Our child talks about Handsome ALL the time!" Again, I'm imagining Handsome always talking, joking, singing, dancing in class while the rest of the children are working nicely on their art projects.
Handsome seems to have picked two best friends in his class: B and K. B is a little girl and K is a little boy. Those three stick pretty close together. Each day after class, B and Handsome play together at the preschool playground while B's mom and DH and any other parent that is there talk. I got to meet B's mom when I took Handsome with his class to see Santa. She is awesome. Very nice and seemed to be someone I would like to hang out with. Her husband was there too and he was also very nice, but he didn't talk as much, so I don't know much about his personality.
The trip to see Santa was interesting. It was good to be able to see Handsome interact with his classmates. He stuck pretty close to K and B - he spent more time with B though. At first Handsome would not sit with Santa. I guessed that would happen. I finally convinced him to go because we saw K sit with Santa and Mrs. V was sitting in a chair right next to Santa. I got him to stand with Mrs. V and then after giving Santa a high-five he was convinced to sit with him to get a quick picture. It's true that I am anti-Santa, but I'm not going to be actively anti-Santa, just not as pro-Santa. Make sense? I'll tell him the Santa stories if he asks and put the presents under the tree with no name attached so that he can decide for himself if they are from us or from Santa.
When my parents came for Thanksgiving, my mother managed to start Handsome reading. He can read basic three letter words: sat, cat, pig, sit, hat, map, pot, etc. He already knew all the letters and sounds, but we hadn't tried to put anything together before she came. Now my three year old can read - the basics anyway.
His speech skills grow everyday. You can have real conversations with him now. He is still only speaking English though. He's resistant to speaking anything else.
He is wearing his glasses full time now. He has done really well with them. It also helps that they are nearly indestructible. I think the crossing has actually gotten worse though. We are patching at home for a few hours each day. I hope that helps and that this doesn't continue. I always wonder whether he realizes when his eye stops working. I don't think he does.
Handsome and Junior -
These boys play together better than I could have ever hoped for. They both seem to really love each other. Wherever one goes, the other will follow. In the backseat of the car, Handsome will play with Junior until they are both giggling uncontrollably. On the other hand, they always want the same toy. Always. How an 8 month old and 3 year old want the same toy, I don't know, but they do.
I think though that eventually, Junior may be the leader of the two. He's got the stronger personality and Handsome is so easy-go-lucky that I think he'll just go with whatever Junior is passionate about. I could be totally wrong, but that's what it looks like right now.
Me -
I don't even know where to begin about me. I'm stressed. There is just too much going on right now. I don't have time to breathe. I think this is the main cause for my milk supply failing me. I don't have enough time to pump as much as I need to and when I do pump, I can't stop thinking about work. I've started drinking more water and taking supplements to help my supply increase. It may have added another ounce or two to what I get throughout the day, but I'll take whatever I can get. It's beyond frustrating - especially when I see that Junior has lost weight. Honestly I'd really like to stop nursing. I know that's crazy from me who wanted to nurse Handsome until he was two years old and was devastated when he stopped early. With Junior it's just harder: he's losing weight; I'm stressing; I'm losing time at work; he bites; he pinches; he's easily distracted; he nurses too frequently at night. I'll continue for as long as I can, but it's not easy.
While Junior is losing weight, I'm not. I lost about 20 after he was born and then I stopped losing weight. So, this past weekend I joined WW. I've never done a plan like this, but I figured I needed something to kick me in the rear end and remind me how I'm supposed to be eating. I know I've been eating like crap since Junior was born. I've been drinking more coke than ever and eating bags upon bags of oreos - oreos have no milk. Anyway, we'll see how this works out. It's just something else to worry about but I feel like my health needs to be on the to-do list somewhere so I don't think I should give this up.
(Sorry for all the typos)
Junior -
Junior is growing and changing every day. He is eight months old now. He has four teeth (and has had them since seven months) and has used them to chomp down on me more than once. He has an awesomely powerful pinch as can be seen by all the red spots on my arms and chest where he got bored or curious while nursing. He can pick up a single grain of rice on the carpet. He often picks up small particles on the ground that he knows he's not supposed to have. He picks them up. Sits down (from crawling) and then smiles and looks at me like, "Yeah, I got it. That's right. I know I'm not technically supposed to have it. What are you going to do about it." Oh yes, the child knows when he is doing something he isn't supposed to. If I'm not looking directly at him, he'll grunt or start babbling to make me look at him and then he smiles the smile that I know means he's up to no good.
He had a good stretch where he would sleep at least a six hour stretch and then a four hour stretch. That period of time passed too quickly. Now he's back to getting up every two hours or so. It's a different cry now though. It's not the reflux, this-is-painful cry anymore. Now it's more of an I'm-lonely cry. He has also decided that 4am or thereabouts is time to be up and playing.
He is a crawling champion. He's darn fast. He pulls up on everything. He can walk along the side of the coffee table, of course holding on with both hands. He has stood up without holding onto anything when he is holding his toy with both hands and not paying attention. It doesn't last long though. If you hold his hands he will walk with you.
He has lost weight. Yes. Lost. Not just evened out, but lost. He's gone down by about four ounces in the past two months. I'm not sure about his height. Now, the only disclaimer I will give to that is that at his last checkup he hadn't pooped in about three weeks, so that backlog could very well have added to his previous weight. Now, per doctor's orders, we give him pears everyday to help with his regularity. In case you were wondering, pears work. He will eat two jars of food and 6-8 oz of cereal each day in addition to nursing when I am home and pumped milk when I'm at work. My supply has dwindled considerably and I'm terrified that he's not getting enough nutrition. He still has tons of energy though, so who knows. You can really tell from his pictures though how my chubby baby has become a slender baby. He doesn't look unhealthily skinny, but it is just a huge difference from where he started and from where Handsome was at this point.
His eczema is still here. It has not gotten as bad as it was when he was a few weeks old, but it is still there. I think that time was so bad because it was infected. Now he just has dry patches all over himself - a few of them are red and require medicine. We put thick lotion on him twice a day and his skin just soaks it up and still dries out. I wish the doctors would test him for allergies to see if we could stop some of this by diet, but they just tell us that his test could be inaccurate. I get that, and I can amend when I need to, but I'd like to relieve his poor skin if at all possible.
Stubborn. The boy is stubborn. There is no distracting him if he wants something. I can't even count the number of times I have to tell him no or redirect him. He knows exactly what he wants. If you take that away, be prepared for screaming. His smiles are not as common as Handsome's are, but when you get them, they are awesome. His giggles are the best.
He can climb the stairs. Scary.
Handsome -
Handsome is doing awesome in preschool. He loves it. On days that he can't go, he cries cause he wants to be in preschool. We got his first criticism from his teacher. She told DH that Handsome has been whining a lot. She said a lot of the students have been lately so they have been trying to work on it. We are reinforcing the "don't whine" rule at home. We were previously, but not as often as we are now. I'm not sure if it's helping anything, but at least he is aware.
Everyday he comes home singing whatever song they learned in school that day. I'm impressed that he can remember all the words to the songs and whatever dance moves they taught with the songs. It is obvious that this is his favorite part of preschool. The teacher said one day that he was reluctant to wear their paint shirt to paint. Crazy kid, right? He does not care at all about art projects. But music? He loves music. They put up a project where they had to color a corn on the cob and glue on the kernels. All the girls had theirs colored in the lines and colored as much of the paper as they could and then the glued on so many kernels you knew there had to be extra layers underneath that you couldn't even see. Handsome? He colored with the crayon the least amount he could possibly do and still have qualified as coloring the paper and glued on the fewest number of kernels in a similar manner. Just by looking at it, I can see the teacher saying, "Handsome, just color a little bit more. Just glue a few more pieces on." And Handsome reluctantly putting more on, but longing to go play with toys or talk to whoever was closest.
Whenever one of the other parents in the class realize that DH or I are Handsome's parents they always say, "Oh you're Handsome's parent? Our child talks about Handsome ALL the time!" Again, I'm imagining Handsome always talking, joking, singing, dancing in class while the rest of the children are working nicely on their art projects.
Handsome seems to have picked two best friends in his class: B and K. B is a little girl and K is a little boy. Those three stick pretty close together. Each day after class, B and Handsome play together at the preschool playground while B's mom and DH and any other parent that is there talk. I got to meet B's mom when I took Handsome with his class to see Santa. She is awesome. Very nice and seemed to be someone I would like to hang out with. Her husband was there too and he was also very nice, but he didn't talk as much, so I don't know much about his personality.
The trip to see Santa was interesting. It was good to be able to see Handsome interact with his classmates. He stuck pretty close to K and B - he spent more time with B though. At first Handsome would not sit with Santa. I guessed that would happen. I finally convinced him to go because we saw K sit with Santa and Mrs. V was sitting in a chair right next to Santa. I got him to stand with Mrs. V and then after giving Santa a high-five he was convinced to sit with him to get a quick picture. It's true that I am anti-Santa, but I'm not going to be actively anti-Santa, just not as pro-Santa. Make sense? I'll tell him the Santa stories if he asks and put the presents under the tree with no name attached so that he can decide for himself if they are from us or from Santa.
When my parents came for Thanksgiving, my mother managed to start Handsome reading. He can read basic three letter words: sat, cat, pig, sit, hat, map, pot, etc. He already knew all the letters and sounds, but we hadn't tried to put anything together before she came. Now my three year old can read - the basics anyway.
His speech skills grow everyday. You can have real conversations with him now. He is still only speaking English though. He's resistant to speaking anything else.
He is wearing his glasses full time now. He has done really well with them. It also helps that they are nearly indestructible. I think the crossing has actually gotten worse though. We are patching at home for a few hours each day. I hope that helps and that this doesn't continue. I always wonder whether he realizes when his eye stops working. I don't think he does.
Handsome and Junior -
These boys play together better than I could have ever hoped for. They both seem to really love each other. Wherever one goes, the other will follow. In the backseat of the car, Handsome will play with Junior until they are both giggling uncontrollably. On the other hand, they always want the same toy. Always. How an 8 month old and 3 year old want the same toy, I don't know, but they do.
I think though that eventually, Junior may be the leader of the two. He's got the stronger personality and Handsome is so easy-go-lucky that I think he'll just go with whatever Junior is passionate about. I could be totally wrong, but that's what it looks like right now.
Me -
I don't even know where to begin about me. I'm stressed. There is just too much going on right now. I don't have time to breathe. I think this is the main cause for my milk supply failing me. I don't have enough time to pump as much as I need to and when I do pump, I can't stop thinking about work. I've started drinking more water and taking supplements to help my supply increase. It may have added another ounce or two to what I get throughout the day, but I'll take whatever I can get. It's beyond frustrating - especially when I see that Junior has lost weight. Honestly I'd really like to stop nursing. I know that's crazy from me who wanted to nurse Handsome until he was two years old and was devastated when he stopped early. With Junior it's just harder: he's losing weight; I'm stressing; I'm losing time at work; he bites; he pinches; he's easily distracted; he nurses too frequently at night. I'll continue for as long as I can, but it's not easy.
While Junior is losing weight, I'm not. I lost about 20 after he was born and then I stopped losing weight. So, this past weekend I joined WW. I've never done a plan like this, but I figured I needed something to kick me in the rear end and remind me how I'm supposed to be eating. I know I've been eating like crap since Junior was born. I've been drinking more coke than ever and eating bags upon bags of oreos - oreos have no milk. Anyway, we'll see how this works out. It's just something else to worry about but I feel like my health needs to be on the to-do list somewhere so I don't think I should give this up.
(Sorry for all the typos)
Friday, October 8, 2010
Halloween Bleck
Halloween is coming up. I know that for many this is a great event. People get fancy costumes and rent scary movies and have festive parties. I admit that I love looking at the costumes that other people have come up with and I love to hear their stories of what happened at the haunted house. Stories of how so and so screamed like a girl and the other guy jumped so high he hit his head.
And that is where my fascination with the holiday ends. Does that make me a fuddy duddy? Meh, that's ok. I've never been terribly creative so my costumes were always a result of me rummaging through my parents' closet to see what I could come up with. I almost always ended up with something farmer related since Dad had a lot of that stuff. Boring with a capital B. I went trick or treating as a kid but it's just a bunch of junk food that I wasn't supposed to eat and I'd end up with a belly ache. I've never liked haunted houses or scary movies because I am a wimp and I see no amusement in scaring myself until I have nightmares.
Now that I'm older and even more boring I think like Halloween less. Costumes have gotten even more elaborate which means I either have to have a lot of cash to waste or I have to be crafty to make my own. I have/am neither. Plus all the troublemakers come out that night so I would prefer to barricade myself in my house. I also have to spend money on a costume for Handsome. I'm cheating this year and using the one I bought last year. It still fits and he likes it.
Fuddy duddy = Me
I'm ok with that.
And that is where my fascination with the holiday ends. Does that make me a fuddy duddy? Meh, that's ok. I've never been terribly creative so my costumes were always a result of me rummaging through my parents' closet to see what I could come up with. I almost always ended up with something farmer related since Dad had a lot of that stuff. Boring with a capital B. I went trick or treating as a kid but it's just a bunch of junk food that I wasn't supposed to eat and I'd end up with a belly ache. I've never liked haunted houses or scary movies because I am a wimp and I see no amusement in scaring myself until I have nightmares.
Now that I'm older and even more boring I think like Halloween less. Costumes have gotten even more elaborate which means I either have to have a lot of cash to waste or I have to be crafty to make my own. I have/am neither. Plus all the troublemakers come out that night so I would prefer to barricade myself in my house. I also have to spend money on a costume for Handsome. I'm cheating this year and using the one I bought last year. It still fits and he likes it.
Fuddy duddy = Me
I'm ok with that.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Junior's bowel issues
I got some glycerin suppositories for Junior. I sat on the floor with a plastic bag under us and gave him the suppository. At first he didn't care, and then... he did. He cried and cried like I was the meanest person in the whole world. And then he cried and pushed like he was giving birth to a his own child. After about eight minutes he was done and talking and babbling like all was well in the world. Let's just say he was much lighter after that experience. And then around 4am this morning he filled another diaper. And then this afternoon he filled another. Hopefully he will be regular again now.
Last night I was up a lot. Again. As is the new normal. Handsome even woke up around 4 or 5am crying, which is very unlike him. I'm assuming he had a nightmare. I held him until he seemed ok and then he went right back to sleep. Meanwhile I was really dizzy. I had to hold onto the wall so that I wouldn't fall down. I'm assuming it is because I haven't had nearly enough sleep. I called DH to come pick up the kids so that I could get some rest, but that was around 7am. and I had been up almost all night.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
The past few days
On Sunday I caught up on some of the household stuff I've been getting way behind on as a result of our crazy schedule. I did many loads of laundry, cleaned the backyard and brushed all the hair our dog is shedding off of him so that it doesn't end up on the carpet anymore. Handsome was kind enough to help me with everything.
In fact for the past few days both boys have been really attached to me. I'm assuming it's because I've had to work so much lately. Junior will cry if DH is holding him and stare me down no matter where I am in the room. He always wants to be near me. Daddy just isn't what he wants right now. I feel like I have about a two foot rope that is tied between my leg and Handsome's leg and as a result Handsome must ALWAYS be right under my feet. I can't even head to the ladies' room without both of them crying for me. I have to admit that I like being wanted/needed/loved so much. DH on the other hand is really getting his feelings hurt. I know this is only a phase and I do like to spread the love around, but I'll enjoy my snuggles and smiles while I can get them.
Anyway, back to Sunday. I gave Handsome a bath before his naptime because we were both all sorts of stinky from being out back. When he woke up from his nap, he felt warm. He had said his head hurt earlier in the day, but I attributed that to the eye issues that he as been having. We make him wear his eye patch and that forces his weak eye to work harder. I know I used to get headaches if I went between wearing glasses and not wearing glasses so I figured that is what happened. He has never complained of his head hurting before though. After his nap when he said his head hurt again, I decided to check his temperature. 102F He had a fever. Bummer. The only other fever he has ever had was during a bad cold he had when he was about eight months old.
I got him a wet rag for his forehead and we sat on the couch together as he just said he wanted to be held. We didn't have any children's tyelenol, but I didn't want to give it to him right away anyhow. He wasn't being lethargic and still wanted to go to the store, so it didn't seem to be bothering him too much. I know a fever helps kill the virus so I wanted to see how it would progress. If it got worse or if he still had it at bedtime, I would give him some tylenol. As it happened, by bedtime his fever had gone down to 99F and he didn't seem to notice it at all. What it did do was give us a peaceful bedtime which doesn't happen too frequently anymore.
Since he couldn't go to preschool the following morning, I decided to take him to get fitted for new glasses. He woke up fever free and we went to try on glasses. They had two varieties that I couldn't decide between: Miraflex and Flexon.
- Miraflex is plastic and virtually indestructable. It has no hinges and has a band that goes behind his head to make sure they stay on. I was afraid they would look like toy glasses and they would overwhelm his face. I was also afraid that his lashes would constantly hit the glasses. That used to happen to me as a kid and it drove me nuts.
- The Flexon glasses are metal frames that can be twisted and sat on and still return to the original shape. They look more like adult glasses and have a nose piece so that the glasses sit further from his eyes which means no lashes hitting the lens. I was afraid though that the nose piece would be a problem for if/when he falls. And the Flexon was about twice the price of the Miraflex.
I couldn't decide, so I called Mom to decide for me. LOL I'm weak, I admit. Anyway, she said to go for the Flexon because she is really concerned about the social aspect. She is afraid that the other kids would make fun of the other glasses and scar Handsome for life. So on that warning, I got the Flexon. I figure that since it is about to be winter, he will have less of an opportunity to be running around. And a few months from now, I may go ahead and buy the Miraflex as a backup and for the times that he wants to be more rough and tumble.
The glasses should be ready by Thursday and then will begin the adventure of making him wear his glasses full time. While I was buying the glasses I was talking to the woman who sells them - obviously. Anyway, she has been doing the same job for over 20 years. It was a family owned business. I told her about why Handsome needed glasses and she started telling me horror stories. Great, right? She told me about one little girl whose grandmother refused to patch her eye because the girl didn't like it and at 12 years old the girl lost sight in her weak eye. And then there is the story of a little boy whose parents didn't notice and so he didn't get treated. As a result he has a full blown lazy eye now. He can get glasses to help with his sight, but they are litearaly about an inch thick for that one eye and he still can't see clearly. Great. Now I'm worried that poor Handsome is going to end up blind in one eye.
Obviously since we were able to buy glasses on Monday morning, Handsome did not go to preschool. His random fever is completely gone now but he missed his class picture. :'( I was really looking forward to that. I emailed his teacher and she is going to get us a copy of it, but sadly Handsome won't be in the picture. DH took him to his school today to get his individual picture. We don't really need it since I take his picture obsessively, but I'm curious to see how he handles someone else taking his picture.
And now for Junior news.
On Saturday, Junior crawled to the coffee table and pulled himself up to standing so that he could grab something that was on the table. Oh yes, he pulled himself up. My five month old is pulling up to stand. I can't even believe it. My baby was supposed to stay a baby for a little while longer.
And for a little TMI - at least he'll think so when he is older and knows I blogged about it - he hasn't pooped in at least two weeks. The nurse said to give him a laxative. Eww. I went to buy some last night, but the container had already been opened. EWWWW. So we have to take it back. We're also going to buy some Mylicon to see if that helps because Ray massaged his belly yesterday and said Junior farted for about ten minutes straight after that. HAHAHA! I'm glad I wasn't there for that because man do his farts stink!
Junior is also blowing rasberries and saying "bababa" and chewing on his tongue. All very good signs that he is progressing like he should.
His six month appointment is next week.
And in me news.
I got everything done for work that I needed to! YAY!! Talk about a relief. Our house is so much less stresful now.
And in DH news.
He did not pass one of his exams and doesn't know how he did on the other, but he's not hopeful. I am so scared that he won't pass and get his nursing degree. He is so smart, but his school is so unhelpful. The one test that he didn't pass was because he could only miss one element and he missed three. One. And a passing grade on an exam is 78%. Please, Lord, let him pass. We have really struggled to get to this point.
And now that I have written a novel, I'm done. ;)
Friday, September 3, 2010
Do you hear that?
Quiet. It is blissful right now. I don't know how long it is going to last, but I am going to enjoy it while I can.
My kitchen is clean. My floors are vacuumed.
I gave Handsome and Junior their baths together tonight. It was... interesting. I put Junior's baby bath inside the big bath and filled them both up. Junior sits pretty well now, plus he can balance himself on the sides of the little whale bathtub. Only problem was when he wanted to grab his toes so he would lean forward too far and I'd be afraid he was going to face plant in the water. It didn't happen though. He was very content sitting in the water and watching his older brother play with the duck that was very busy flying everywhere. I let Handsome dry himself and put lotion on himself so that I could dry and lotion Junior. Only snag was when Handsome wanted the longer Anansi story and Junior was too tired and cranky to sit through the entire story. Handsome had to settle for the shorter book and I promised to read the longer story to him in the morning.
After Handsome went to sleep, I nursed Junior and put him in his crib (actually the playpen) which as of yesterday is now in my bedroom. We put the white noise machine up there so that when I go to bed, I won't wake him up. Junior fell asleep on cue and is now sleeping upstairs.
DH is downstairs studying.
And me? I am all by myself. Bliss. I love my boys and I love my DH. They are my life. But sometimes I just want to sit alone with my thoughts. I need a few minutes alone each day to relax, but these days I rarely get that. In fact, I'm not sure I've really had that since Junior was born. Well, maybe in the car as I drive to work. And I do have my own office, but alone time at work doesn't really count.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Time. I need more of it.
There are not enough hours in the day. Who decided on 24 hours anyway?? And who decided we had to work 8 of them? Eight sounds like a small number, but somehow that number gets s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d and I don't think I ever just spend 8 hours at work. And this is just my job-work. Not my home-work.
So this is a day from my recent "schedule:"
7am - Feed baby
7:30 - shower, get kids ready
8:30 - Leave house
9:00 - arrive at work
7:30 - leave work
8:00 - get home, pump milk for tomorrow while watching kids
9:00 - eat dinner
9:30 - Handsome's bedtime routine begins
10:00 - Feed baby while talking to DH or watching tv
11:00 - bedtime
1:00am - Feed baby
1:30am - Sleep
3:00am - Feed baby
3:30am - Sleep
5:00am - Feed baby
5:30am - Sleep
cycle continues....
(Baby feeding times vary on demand. Lately he's actually been getting up every hour. Don't know what's up with that madness.)
Did you notice how much "me" time is in there??? Yeah, none. Closest I get is about an hour between Handsome's bedtime and the time my body decides it has had enough and I just fall asleep. That time isn't even really my time as I am talking to DH and holding/feeding the baby at the same time. Work time could possibly be considered my time as I sit in my office alone, but I am working to support my family and I just started a rather stressful trial period for a possible promotion in a year and a half, so basically it provides no relief.
So when am I supposed to find time to go to the gym or practice photography? I need both of those for my own health, and I just don't get the opportunity. I keep seeing lessons for a 365 or 52 week photography challenge and I REALLY want to participate so that I can get better and I just can't find enough time. I see people that improve so much in one year and here I am going along at a snail's pace. I get about once a month where I can get a couple hours to practice. I tried to take a picture of Handsome last night and he thought it was funny to run away at the last minute. Yeah, Handsome, very funny. Then I tried to take Junior's picture and he started to cry because it was time to feed him. Then it was time to put Handsome to bed. When I finished there it was time to feed Junior again so that he would fall asleep for his longer sleep period. And at that point I couldn't take a picture of anything else because all the lights in the house needed to be off. GAH.
I know DH is having just as hard a time because he has the kids all day long and the few minutes that he might get he has to spend on school work.
Oh Lord how I need strength.
So this is a day from my recent "schedule:"
7am - Feed baby
7:30 - shower, get kids ready
8:30 - Leave house
9:00 - arrive at work
7:30 - leave work
8:00 - get home, pump milk for tomorrow while watching kids
9:00 - eat dinner
9:30 - Handsome's bedtime routine begins
10:00 - Feed baby while talking to DH or watching tv
11:00 - bedtime
1:00am - Feed baby
1:30am - Sleep
3:00am - Feed baby
3:30am - Sleep
5:00am - Feed baby
5:30am - Sleep
cycle continues....
(Baby feeding times vary on demand. Lately he's actually been getting up every hour. Don't know what's up with that madness.)
Did you notice how much "me" time is in there??? Yeah, none. Closest I get is about an hour between Handsome's bedtime and the time my body decides it has had enough and I just fall asleep. That time isn't even really my time as I am talking to DH and holding/feeding the baby at the same time. Work time could possibly be considered my time as I sit in my office alone, but I am working to support my family and I just started a rather stressful trial period for a possible promotion in a year and a half, so basically it provides no relief.
So when am I supposed to find time to go to the gym or practice photography? I need both of those for my own health, and I just don't get the opportunity. I keep seeing lessons for a 365 or 52 week photography challenge and I REALLY want to participate so that I can get better and I just can't find enough time. I see people that improve so much in one year and here I am going along at a snail's pace. I get about once a month where I can get a couple hours to practice. I tried to take a picture of Handsome last night and he thought it was funny to run away at the last minute. Yeah, Handsome, very funny. Then I tried to take Junior's picture and he started to cry because it was time to feed him. Then it was time to put Handsome to bed. When I finished there it was time to feed Junior again so that he would fall asleep for his longer sleep period. And at that point I couldn't take a picture of anything else because all the lights in the house needed to be off. GAH.
I know DH is having just as hard a time because he has the kids all day long and the few minutes that he might get he has to spend on school work.
Oh Lord how I need strength.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Day 1: Success.
So yesterday was my first day back to work. It went SO much better than the first day back after my maternity leave for Handsome. I think it's because I knew what to expect and I knew that both Handsome and Junior were in responsible, caring, capable hands. And apparently since I had Handsome, I have figured out how to function on very little sleep. Last time I was in a complete haze for at least a month after I returned to work. Simple conversations were so hard to comprehend, much less trying to accomplish actual critical thinking.
Yesterday I was able to work with a clear head - well, as clear as my head gets - and I didn't cry a single time. Go me! DH said that Junior was a champ. Junior took his very first bottle. He was apprehensive as to what in the world DH was doing at first, but after a bit of milk dripped on his lips, he reached up and grabbed the bottle to try to get it to his mouth. After he finished his bottle he smiled and coo'ed at DH. DH said he smiled after every bottle and was in a great mood all day. He only spit up once the entire day. Junior has a terrible latch normally and I figured the bottle would be easier for him to take. I want him to have breastmilk for many reasons though, so I needed him to keep trying to get a better latch. I was a bit afraid that he wouldn't want to nurse when I came home after having the ease of the bottle all day, but he did. He did so well. So well that now as I'm writing this I'm starting to tear up. LOL. He did eat a lot while I was at work though. I pumped four ounces more than he ate over a 12 hour period and I was hoping to pump a lot more than he ate to help build up the reserves. Oh well.
Talking about reserves, our refrigerator sounds like it is limping along. If our freezer dies and all my milk spoils I will be SOOO upset. We have it covered under the home warranty, but I'm pretty sure they will only come after it dies, not prior to. If I had the money, I would buy a little freezer to put in the basement or in the back so that I would have a back up, but alas I don't have the funds for that.
So how many hours did I work yesterday? Eleven and a half. Nothing like jumping right in, right? I have tons of work that has built up, so I should get to it.
Oh, and DH said that Handsome did really well yesterday too. He was helping DH with Junior all day.
Yesterday I was able to work with a clear head - well, as clear as my head gets - and I didn't cry a single time. Go me! DH said that Junior was a champ. Junior took his very first bottle. He was apprehensive as to what in the world DH was doing at first, but after a bit of milk dripped on his lips, he reached up and grabbed the bottle to try to get it to his mouth. After he finished his bottle he smiled and coo'ed at DH. DH said he smiled after every bottle and was in a great mood all day. He only spit up once the entire day. Junior has a terrible latch normally and I figured the bottle would be easier for him to take. I want him to have breastmilk for many reasons though, so I needed him to keep trying to get a better latch. I was a bit afraid that he wouldn't want to nurse when I came home after having the ease of the bottle all day, but he did. He did so well. So well that now as I'm writing this I'm starting to tear up. LOL. He did eat a lot while I was at work though. I pumped four ounces more than he ate over a 12 hour period and I was hoping to pump a lot more than he ate to help build up the reserves. Oh well.
Talking about reserves, our refrigerator sounds like it is limping along. If our freezer dies and all my milk spoils I will be SOOO upset. We have it covered under the home warranty, but I'm pretty sure they will only come after it dies, not prior to. If I had the money, I would buy a little freezer to put in the basement or in the back so that I would have a back up, but alas I don't have the funds for that.
So how many hours did I work yesterday? Eleven and a half. Nothing like jumping right in, right? I have tons of work that has built up, so I should get to it.
Oh, and DH said that Handsome did really well yesterday too. He was helping DH with Junior all day.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Back to the grind
Tomorrow I head back to work. I could have waited until Thursday, but I looked at our finances and I need as much of a paycheck as I can get. I shouldn't have taken off as much time as I did, but we were expecting DH to be able to work for half of the time that I was home. He got a temp job for two days and that's it. There were no positions open for him. That has really hurt our financial standing - not that it was so great to start out with.
When the economy crashed our house lost more than half of it's value. I'm not sure it will ever get back up to where it was before. Our original plan was to move in 2011 either to a bigger house around here (we have two bedrooms and now there are four of us) or to move back to TX. Now I'm not sure we will ever be able to move. Ever. The bank isn't going to eat a loss of more than 100k and we certainly don't have that in the bank to pay it off. And just to add a little salt, Ray's education is taking longer than we ever planned for, so our well will soon run dry. It is literally making me sick to think that I am stuck here forever. It makes me sick that tax dollars went to save banks and yet they will do NOTHING to help people in my situation.
I need to accept today for all the wonderful things it brings instead of focusing on the negatives. I try, but in the end I continue to focus on financial issues and weight issues and every little negative thing. I look to the future or to the past for the illusive perfect conditions. Prior to joining the Peace Corps, i would always focus on the future and what I needed to do to get there - where ever there was. As a result I paid little attention to the present time. While in the Peace Corps, I soaked in every moment. I loved it. I was happier than I had ever been. Even when I was crying in my living room eating raw noodles for lack of fire to cook with, I was truly living in the moment. And now? Now I either look back to my days in Ghana or I look forward to the days where we will be financially sound and I won't have to work. I can't change jobs because then I couldn't pay bills and we can't move somewhere where the bills would be less because we can't sell this house. Caught between a rock and a hard place as they would say. All the while my parents aren't getting any younger and I would really like to be able to move closer to them. I want my children to get to know their grandparents.
I want to live somewhere that feels like home. I don't know geographically where home is. It may be TX or it may be Ghana. It may even be the same town I'm in now, but in a different neighborhood. What I do know, is that this house that I live in now is not home. It was a stepping stone that ended up being a trap.
So back to the grind I go. I go to work while DH stays home with our children. I desperately want to stay home with the boys. DH desperately wants to get a job to support our family. We are both learning to live with what life has thrown at us. What matters is that we are together and we have two happy, healthy sons.
When the economy crashed our house lost more than half of it's value. I'm not sure it will ever get back up to where it was before. Our original plan was to move in 2011 either to a bigger house around here (we have two bedrooms and now there are four of us) or to move back to TX. Now I'm not sure we will ever be able to move. Ever. The bank isn't going to eat a loss of more than 100k and we certainly don't have that in the bank to pay it off. And just to add a little salt, Ray's education is taking longer than we ever planned for, so our well will soon run dry. It is literally making me sick to think that I am stuck here forever. It makes me sick that tax dollars went to save banks and yet they will do NOTHING to help people in my situation.
I need to accept today for all the wonderful things it brings instead of focusing on the negatives. I try, but in the end I continue to focus on financial issues and weight issues and every little negative thing. I look to the future or to the past for the illusive perfect conditions. Prior to joining the Peace Corps, i would always focus on the future and what I needed to do to get there - where ever there was. As a result I paid little attention to the present time. While in the Peace Corps, I soaked in every moment. I loved it. I was happier than I had ever been. Even when I was crying in my living room eating raw noodles for lack of fire to cook with, I was truly living in the moment. And now? Now I either look back to my days in Ghana or I look forward to the days where we will be financially sound and I won't have to work. I can't change jobs because then I couldn't pay bills and we can't move somewhere where the bills would be less because we can't sell this house. Caught between a rock and a hard place as they would say. All the while my parents aren't getting any younger and I would really like to be able to move closer to them. I want my children to get to know their grandparents.
I want to live somewhere that feels like home. I don't know geographically where home is. It may be TX or it may be Ghana. It may even be the same town I'm in now, but in a different neighborhood. What I do know, is that this house that I live in now is not home. It was a stepping stone that ended up being a trap.
So back to the grind I go. I go to work while DH stays home with our children. I desperately want to stay home with the boys. DH desperately wants to get a job to support our family. We are both learning to live with what life has thrown at us. What matters is that we are together and we have two happy, healthy sons.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
After weeks of going to the gym...
So after weeks of going to the gym I am at ... drumroll please... T-60 pounds. I have lost a grand total of 0 pounds. No joke. I am doing cardio for 30 min a day and I have lost no weight. So far it doesn't bother me, but I'm sure it will soon. Even though I haven't lost any weight, I do feel better. I can now get up and down much easier and I feel like I have more energy. For now, that's good enough for me. My vices are Coca cola and Oreos. I should give up both and I'm sure I will... eventually.
I had to buy new clothes today because I'm going back to work in two weeks and I don't fit in any of my clothes and naked isn't a good look for me.
You know what motivates me at the gym? When I see people that are further away from the ideal weight than I am or people that look like they would be less motivated than me. When I see them working their tails off. I see them and think if they can do this then I can do this. Today I saw an elderly couple that looked like they were in their upper seventies and they were lifting weights with a trainer. I also saw two women who were maybe twice my weight working their tails off - pun intended - to lose weight.
Someday I'll lose weight. Right?
I had to buy new clothes today because I'm going back to work in two weeks and I don't fit in any of my clothes and naked isn't a good look for me.
You know what motivates me at the gym? When I see people that are further away from the ideal weight than I am or people that look like they would be less motivated than me. When I see them working their tails off. I see them and think if they can do this then I can do this. Today I saw an elderly couple that looked like they were in their upper seventies and they were lifting weights with a trainer. I also saw two women who were maybe twice my weight working their tails off - pun intended - to lose weight.
Someday I'll lose weight. Right?
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Who am I?
So in all this baby making, I've neglected to take time for myself. With Handsome and now Junior demanding my time and my basic desire to spend time with them, and with my work and DH's school I didn't feel like I had time for myself. When my maternity leave finishes I still don't know if I'll be able to find that time. But I need to. I have to.
After two pregnancies I have an extra 60 pounds on my body that was already too big for my own good. My family has a history of high blood pressure, heart attacks, type 2 diabetes and I'm sure there is more that I just don't know about. I need to focus on me and get back in to a healthy body weight.
As an extra motivator I've noticed I don't get around as well as I used to. Prior to pregnancies I used to sit on the ground without using my hands to brace myself and get back up without using my hands. It's hard to explain in typing, but it just means I had good balance and strong leg muscles. I can't do either of those anymore. I think it is interfering with me being able to play with my children like I should.
I joined a gym last week. It's hard to go, but I feel so much better even from this short amount of time going. Not only do I get to work out my heart and my muscles, but I get time all alone. It is restful even though I'm working out like I haven't in years.
So here we are at T-60 pounds. I wonder if I can continue to work to lose the weight.
After two pregnancies I have an extra 60 pounds on my body that was already too big for my own good. My family has a history of high blood pressure, heart attacks, type 2 diabetes and I'm sure there is more that I just don't know about. I need to focus on me and get back in to a healthy body weight.
As an extra motivator I've noticed I don't get around as well as I used to. Prior to pregnancies I used to sit on the ground without using my hands to brace myself and get back up without using my hands. It's hard to explain in typing, but it just means I had good balance and strong leg muscles. I can't do either of those anymore. I think it is interfering with me being able to play with my children like I should.
I joined a gym last week. It's hard to go, but I feel so much better even from this short amount of time going. Not only do I get to work out my heart and my muscles, but I get time all alone. It is restful even though I'm working out like I haven't in years.
So here we are at T-60 pounds. I wonder if I can continue to work to lose the weight.
Monday, July 13, 2009
My aching back
Yesterday I sat in the middle of the living room while Handsome would get a running start and jump on my back - repeatedly.
Apparently DH and Handsome do this a lot. One of the times he ran into me, he grabbed my hair. Ouch! I said as much, so Handsome asked, "Are you ok?" I was prepared to say yes, but DH said, "No, you hurt Mommy."
So Handsome walked over to me and gently kissed my back - repeatedly. :)
Apparently DH and Handsome do this a lot. One of the times he ran into me, he grabbed my hair. Ouch! I said as much, so Handsome asked, "Are you ok?" I was prepared to say yes, but DH said, "No, you hurt Mommy."
So Handsome walked over to me and gently kissed my back - repeatedly. :)
Monday, July 6, 2009
I love my little boy
Handsome is growing so quickly. He's talking in little sentences and throwing balls and learning new things every day.
Yesterday he kept putting himself in time-out when he did something he knew he shouldn't. He accidentally knocked out the screen in the front window and turned to me with terror in his face and started to cry because he knew he wasn't supposed to touch the screen. I felt terrible putting him in time out for that one, but I think he would have felt worse if I didn't.
Lately he's also just told DH or I that he was "sleepy" and started up the stairs to his room on his own for nap or bedtime.
He can now say, "I love you, Mommy." or "I love you, Daddy" and it's the sweetest sound I've ever heard.
He says "sorry" when he does something wrong, "Please" when he's asking for something and "thank you" when he gets something he wanted. I remember watching friends struggle to get their kids to use manners so this makes me SOO happy. It may be because of my friends' struggle that it happened so easily with Handsome because I put such an emphasis on it after seeing their struggle. We went to buy new clothes for him this weekend and he said "thank you" to the woman working at the counter when she gave his hat back to him. She was so surprised that he said thank you that she brought over her coworker so that he could say it again when she gave him stickers. She asked if she could take him home, and Handsome said "no." LOL I think part of the surprise is that Handsome is still relatively small for his age so he looks younger.
I bought a hat for him this weekend. It's too cute! He used to love wearing his warm hat in the winter, but hasn't had anything since then. As soon as I found it at the store for him, he put it on his head and didn't take it off until bath time that night. He loves hats! I think he mostly loves the reactions he gets when he wears hats. I dote on him as do random passersby. I tried to take pictures, but consistently got the back of his head. He apparently has to be in the mood to have his picture taken.
We didn't go to fireworks this weekend, but on Sunday we watched the neighbors play with the tiny kind you can light in the street. After Handsome got over my over excitement, he enjoyed them too and we sat and ate our beans by the window as we watched the fireworks (this is when he accidentally knocked out the screen).
Handsome apparently scars like DH. He had two mosquito bites on his leg a while back and he scratched the bejeezers out of them and now he has scars all up and down the side of his leg. It's been at least a month or two, so we'll see if/when those fade away.
He also is sporting a farmer's tan right now. His face and the back of his neck are really tan, as is the lower half of his biceps down to his hands. His feet have tan lines in the shape of his sandals. His belly, however, is white.
We taught him the difference between a green light and a red light, so when we're in the car, he has to tell us when the light turns green: "Green! Go! Green! Thank you, green! Yay!! Green." *clap, clap* And when it turns red: "Go? Stop. Green? Ok." *pout* I fear for when he is old enough to drive. Maybe I'll buy him a car that can't go above 50mph. I'll sleep better at night that way.
He loves to kiss boo-boos. If he falls, he'll kiss whatever hurts. If DH or I knock a toe into a corner, he'll be kissing our toes for the rest of the night and asking if it's ok.
He loves group hugs. If he sees DH and I hugging each other he insists on being picked up and hugging both of us at the same time.
He has also taken to randomly, and purposefully, falling off the couches and chairs. He thinks it's funny to fall on his head.
He asks to play with the bubbles so that he can go outside, but once outside he could care less about those bubbles. He'd much rather play in the dirt or yell at the dog next door.
He dances at any and everything. He loves to shake his little booty to any song he hears. When the song ends, he puts a pitiful look on his face, raises his shoulders, puts his hands out to the side and says, "Music? Music finished?"
He's learning the hand motions for the Itsy Bitsy Spider. He gets frustrated when he can't do the spider part and cries until I move his fingers the right way. Let me just say that it's hard to do that backwards.
When DH is bringing in the groceries, Handsome will hold the glass door open for him. He also likes to carry the bags when we're at the store. He watches DH lift weights, so he likes to lift the 5 pound weights and say at the same time, "Up, down, up, down." He thinks it's hilarious.
He is still sucking his thumb ALL the time. If you tell him to take it out of his mouth, he will, but two seconds later he puts it back in his mouth. He's an equal opportunity thumb sucker, so either thumb will do. I think it's adorable, but I also don't want him hurting his teeth because of it.
I love that little boy more than I than I thought I was capable of.
Yesterday he kept putting himself in time-out when he did something he knew he shouldn't. He accidentally knocked out the screen in the front window and turned to me with terror in his face and started to cry because he knew he wasn't supposed to touch the screen. I felt terrible putting him in time out for that one, but I think he would have felt worse if I didn't.
Lately he's also just told DH or I that he was "sleepy" and started up the stairs to his room on his own for nap or bedtime.
He can now say, "I love you, Mommy." or "I love you, Daddy" and it's the sweetest sound I've ever heard.
He says "sorry" when he does something wrong, "Please" when he's asking for something and "thank you" when he gets something he wanted. I remember watching friends struggle to get their kids to use manners so this makes me SOO happy. It may be because of my friends' struggle that it happened so easily with Handsome because I put such an emphasis on it after seeing their struggle. We went to buy new clothes for him this weekend and he said "thank you" to the woman working at the counter when she gave his hat back to him. She was so surprised that he said thank you that she brought over her coworker so that he could say it again when she gave him stickers. She asked if she could take him home, and Handsome said "no." LOL I think part of the surprise is that Handsome is still relatively small for his age so he looks younger.
I bought a hat for him this weekend. It's too cute! He used to love wearing his warm hat in the winter, but hasn't had anything since then. As soon as I found it at the store for him, he put it on his head and didn't take it off until bath time that night. He loves hats! I think he mostly loves the reactions he gets when he wears hats. I dote on him as do random passersby. I tried to take pictures, but consistently got the back of his head. He apparently has to be in the mood to have his picture taken.
We didn't go to fireworks this weekend, but on Sunday we watched the neighbors play with the tiny kind you can light in the street. After Handsome got over my over excitement, he enjoyed them too and we sat and ate our beans by the window as we watched the fireworks (this is when he accidentally knocked out the screen).
Handsome apparently scars like DH. He had two mosquito bites on his leg a while back and he scratched the bejeezers out of them and now he has scars all up and down the side of his leg. It's been at least a month or two, so we'll see if/when those fade away.
He also is sporting a farmer's tan right now. His face and the back of his neck are really tan, as is the lower half of his biceps down to his hands. His feet have tan lines in the shape of his sandals. His belly, however, is white.
We taught him the difference between a green light and a red light, so when we're in the car, he has to tell us when the light turns green: "Green! Go! Green! Thank you, green! Yay!! Green." *clap, clap* And when it turns red: "Go? Stop. Green? Ok." *pout* I fear for when he is old enough to drive. Maybe I'll buy him a car that can't go above 50mph. I'll sleep better at night that way.
He loves to kiss boo-boos. If he falls, he'll kiss whatever hurts. If DH or I knock a toe into a corner, he'll be kissing our toes for the rest of the night and asking if it's ok.
He loves group hugs. If he sees DH and I hugging each other he insists on being picked up and hugging both of us at the same time.
He has also taken to randomly, and purposefully, falling off the couches and chairs. He thinks it's funny to fall on his head.
He asks to play with the bubbles so that he can go outside, but once outside he could care less about those bubbles. He'd much rather play in the dirt or yell at the dog next door.
He dances at any and everything. He loves to shake his little booty to any song he hears. When the song ends, he puts a pitiful look on his face, raises his shoulders, puts his hands out to the side and says, "Music? Music finished?"
He's learning the hand motions for the Itsy Bitsy Spider. He gets frustrated when he can't do the spider part and cries until I move his fingers the right way. Let me just say that it's hard to do that backwards.
When DH is bringing in the groceries, Handsome will hold the glass door open for him. He also likes to carry the bags when we're at the store. He watches DH lift weights, so he likes to lift the 5 pound weights and say at the same time, "Up, down, up, down." He thinks it's hilarious.
He is still sucking his thumb ALL the time. If you tell him to take it out of his mouth, he will, but two seconds later he puts it back in his mouth. He's an equal opportunity thumb sucker, so either thumb will do. I think it's adorable, but I also don't want him hurting his teeth because of it.
I love that little boy more than I than I thought I was capable of.
Two days of no sickness!
For the past couple days I've actually woken up and not been sick! It's been splendid. I'd almost forgotten what it was like to be semi-healthy.
So if you were counting, it was more than a month of stomach/intestinal issues. It was no fun.
And the bill from the ER? Also not fun. I even have good insurance, so I can't imagine how hard it must be to pay an ER bill without good insurance. And I now have what seems to be permanent nerve damage in my hand from where the nurse tried to take my blood. If you rub the back of my hand, I feel tingling in my finger. And lucky me gets to pay the hospital for it.
So if you were counting, it was more than a month of stomach/intestinal issues. It was no fun.
And the bill from the ER? Also not fun. I even have good insurance, so I can't imagine how hard it must be to pay an ER bill without good insurance. And I now have what seems to be permanent nerve damage in my hand from where the nurse tried to take my blood. If you rub the back of my hand, I feel tingling in my finger. And lucky me gets to pay the hospital for it.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Irony
So after my last post I went back through old emails. It's amazing what I've managed to forget. Now that I am wanting only to be taken care of I find my rants about people taking care of me. I changed the names, but here is an excerpt from an old email correspondance complaining about a guy who just wanted to protect me:
Me:
Male friend:
So the very protection that I want today is the protection that I wanted to be rid of seven or eight years ago.
Me:
Ok, maybe he's trying to protect me, maybe he's trying to protect himself.
I don't know. No, things would not be easy, but I don't want someone
telling me lies just to make me feel better. Tell me the truth and I will
deal with it. And don't try to sheild me or shelter me. Let me make
my own decisions for once. Everyone seems to be trying to keep me
safe. They try to keep me from seeing things that I may be too naive, or
too sheltered to comprehend. If people keep doing this, then someday they
won't be there and the world is going to hit me full force. For once, let
me decide for myself whether or not I should see or experience things. How
can I grow and mature in any way if people keep holding my hand to cross the
street? Perhaps this is a slight tangent, but it ties in. Part of
the reason Jack walked away was b/c he thought I was "too good" for him and he
didn't want to stand in my way. You know what, stop. Let me decide
who I want to stand in my way. Let me decide who I think is good for
me. Arg. At least in Africa I will truly be on my own. I will
be allowed to face the difficult situations and I will finally see where I fall
and where I rise.
Male friend:
Protection... Ever since I've known you, people have been protecting you,
it seems like. But then again, you were always younger than the rest of
us, so maybe that was part of it. The same reason Jack was afraid to date
you is the same reason I've questioned my relationship with Jane. I mean,
she's so driven, motivated, and sets such high goals. I just never want to
stand in her way, and I've got such a spotted past, it doesn't compare to the
person that she is. But on the same token, she makes me want to be a
better person, I want to be more like her.
So the very protection that I want today is the protection that I wanted to be rid of seven or eight years ago.
The mess that is me
Somewhere something went awry. I don't know what, but I must have done something wrong. No, there is nothing tragic, everything is still mostly coasting along, but things just keep happening one after the other.
First of all I've been sick. I've had the stomach flu for almost two weeks now. It has beaten me to the ground. I have been depleted of all energy and all motivation. It has me fearing TTC'ing at all. What if I got sick like this again? I am the only income that we have right now. I am the only person who brings in health insurance. Just the thought of being pg makes me nauseous. It's terribly irrational since my pg with Handsome was perfectly fine, and yet I fear the unknown.
And then the past got drudged up recently. Nothing big, but apparently there are issues that I never dealt with. I don't like that feeling. That feeling of not completely having a handle on things. I've been running away from it for years and yet it keeps randomly coming back. It shouldn't affect me like this.
When I'm sick I'm not a nice person. Poor DH has gotten the worst of it. Problem is that DH handles it by not saying anything and waiting for the storm to pass, and I just want to stand in the rain until the clouds are empty. I may be drenched at the end, but I know exactly when the storm has blown away.
Right now I just want to be taken care of. I want to be held and rocked and soothed until I forget about all the problems that surround me. I want to be absolved of all responsibilities and to let go of every worry and every anxiety. I want to know the future and know the reasons for what happened in the past. I want the scars to disappear.
I almost feel like this may be the calm before the storm. I can only paddle upriver for so long.
Ironically? Work is going great.
Please, Lord, be with my family and I. Keep us healthy, safe, and content. Please guide my decisions in the direction they are meant to go. Please hold my hand and guide me on the right path. Please calm the waters and heal the heart. I love You.
First of all I've been sick. I've had the stomach flu for almost two weeks now. It has beaten me to the ground. I have been depleted of all energy and all motivation. It has me fearing TTC'ing at all. What if I got sick like this again? I am the only income that we have right now. I am the only person who brings in health insurance. Just the thought of being pg makes me nauseous. It's terribly irrational since my pg with Handsome was perfectly fine, and yet I fear the unknown.
And then the past got drudged up recently. Nothing big, but apparently there are issues that I never dealt with. I don't like that feeling. That feeling of not completely having a handle on things. I've been running away from it for years and yet it keeps randomly coming back. It shouldn't affect me like this.
When I'm sick I'm not a nice person. Poor DH has gotten the worst of it. Problem is that DH handles it by not saying anything and waiting for the storm to pass, and I just want to stand in the rain until the clouds are empty. I may be drenched at the end, but I know exactly when the storm has blown away.
Right now I just want to be taken care of. I want to be held and rocked and soothed until I forget about all the problems that surround me. I want to be absolved of all responsibilities and to let go of every worry and every anxiety. I want to know the future and know the reasons for what happened in the past. I want the scars to disappear.
I almost feel like this may be the calm before the storm. I can only paddle upriver for so long.
Ironically? Work is going great.
Please, Lord, be with my family and I. Keep us healthy, safe, and content. Please guide my decisions in the direction they are meant to go. Please hold my hand and guide me on the right path. Please calm the waters and heal the heart. I love You.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Focus on me
I've let myself go. It's not a pretty picture. I don't wear makeup anymore. Half the time I don't put my contacts in - and I have HUGE glasses. I never lost the weight I gained from being pregnant so my clothes don't fit right. I bulge in all the wrong places. Gross, right? Well that's how I feel. I eat terribly and I never exercise. It's so hard to get the motivation to take care of myself when married and taking care of a toddler.
I have to lose what I've gained by August. That's my goal. I feel like total and utter crap. I have to fix that. I need to feel better both physically and emotionally.
So how do I reach this goal? How do I lose the weight and get healthy? Should I join the gym which is cheaper in the short run, but only for me and DH gets no benefit... well, no direct benefit. Or do I buy exercise equipment that is much more expensive in the short run, could be used by DH, and could just sit unused and gather dust? Should I try to do something like weight watchers or do I just count calories on my own? If you know me, you know I'm terrible at spending money. I hate it. I never know if I've made the right decision.
For Lent this year, I promised God that I would take better care of the body that he has given to me. I'm not even a week into the season and I'm already having difficulties with it. Sad, right?
I need an exercise buddy. I need there to be a woman that lives down the street that is in my situation and will exercise with me and motivate me to take better care of myself. If I lived in TX I would have friends that would do all of this with me. Too bad I live miles away.
So this is my starting point. I have to move forward starting now. I can't continue to go backwards.
Handsome and I have an appointment tonight with exercise. I do pushups with him climbing on my back and situps with him on my legs or on my belly. I do squats I have to make sure I don't sit on him.... and he thinks it's hilarious... for a while. He gets frustrated with me not paying attention to him after about 10 minutes. When I count out loud and play cartoons I can usually make it to 20 min without a meltdown.
I have to lose what I've gained by August. That's my goal. I feel like total and utter crap. I have to fix that. I need to feel better both physically and emotionally.
So how do I reach this goal? How do I lose the weight and get healthy? Should I join the gym which is cheaper in the short run, but only for me and DH gets no benefit... well, no direct benefit. Or do I buy exercise equipment that is much more expensive in the short run, could be used by DH, and could just sit unused and gather dust? Should I try to do something like weight watchers or do I just count calories on my own? If you know me, you know I'm terrible at spending money. I hate it. I never know if I've made the right decision.
For Lent this year, I promised God that I would take better care of the body that he has given to me. I'm not even a week into the season and I'm already having difficulties with it. Sad, right?
I need an exercise buddy. I need there to be a woman that lives down the street that is in my situation and will exercise with me and motivate me to take better care of myself. If I lived in TX I would have friends that would do all of this with me. Too bad I live miles away.
So this is my starting point. I have to move forward starting now. I can't continue to go backwards.
Handsome and I have an appointment tonight with exercise. I do pushups with him climbing on my back and situps with him on my legs or on my belly. I do squats I have to make sure I don't sit on him.... and he thinks it's hilarious... for a while. He gets frustrated with me not paying attention to him after about 10 minutes. When I count out loud and play cartoons I can usually make it to 20 min without a meltdown.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Feeling left out
Do you ever have those days? Those days where you feel left out? Like your friends don't seem to be as close to you as you thought they were? I've had several different groups of friends lately getting together without me there. It hurts. If it just happened once with one group of friends it wouldn't hurt so bad. But lately I can count at least four different groups, and it's getting to the point where I can't brush it off any more. It hurts. I know I'm mostly to blame as I don't have the car because DH has to go to school and where ever I go I pretty much have to take Handsome with me. But now I'm starting to wonder if it is more than that. Maybe it's just me. Maybe my personality has gone sour or maybe I just smell bad. So would anyone care to tell me why I suck?
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Mixed Heritage
President Barack Obama of the United States of America. Never thought I would hear such a phrase and it would be the truth. An exotic name for these parts and yet the people of America voted for him. A man whose father was African and whose mother is a white American. A man who grew up with little money and got scholarships to the good schools. A man who used his education to get him to the highest position in America.
Now when my son comes home from school complaining about his homework or crying because a white kid told him he was a "good-for-nothing n*****" I can tell him brush it off because he can do absolutely anything with his life when he is serious about his education. He now has an example of a person with mixed heritage that echoes his own, who has made it. Obama beat all odds to become elected to the presidency of the USA, and Handsome could do the same if he really wanted to. (Now, I DON'T want him to because I would be worried every day for the rest of my life, but if he really wanted to, he could.)
Now that the celebrations are over, poor President Obama will have the hardest job any president has had in recent memory. He walks into a mine field of problems with the economy, terrorism, and war, and yes, even racism. I can only pray that God will guide him to make the right decisions.
We did not go to the capital to watch the inauguration. It was hard to stay home because we are so close. On a normal day it would take us maybe 45 min to get there, but of course yesterday was no ordinary day. It would have taken f-o-r-e-v-e-r. The time it would have taken to get there plus the fact that Handsome is 20 months old, the temp was 25F, the windchill was 11F, and I was terrified of some attack all kept us home for the day. We watched everything from the comfort of our living room. Handsome knew that we were paying attention to something other than him so he was loud and climbing all over me so that he would get some of the attention. I kept telling him to watch, but of course he would have none of that. And would he crawl all over DH? Of course not. It was only Mom that he wanted. The only time he was quiet was at the end of the speeches when the crowd would clap. He would then look at the TV and clap and laugh right along with them as if he had been listening the whole time - or maybe it was because he thought it was finally over, who knows.
Oh, and one thing that I did not like? I didn't hear it when we were watching, but I heard it in the commentary afterwards. They said that the crowd boo'ed Bush when he was introduced. That makes me angry. Yes, be happy that a new president is coming, but do not disrespect the president that we have had for eight years. You can dislike his policies and even dislike the person if you like, but do not disrespect him. He was leaving office mere moments after his name was announced, why would you feel the need to treat him like that? There would be no good come out of that.
Dear Lord, please help our new president.
Now when my son comes home from school complaining about his homework or crying because a white kid told him he was a "good-for-nothing n*****" I can tell him brush it off because he can do absolutely anything with his life when he is serious about his education. He now has an example of a person with mixed heritage that echoes his own, who has made it. Obama beat all odds to become elected to the presidency of the USA, and Handsome could do the same if he really wanted to. (Now, I DON'T want him to because I would be worried every day for the rest of my life, but if he really wanted to, he could.)
Now that the celebrations are over, poor President Obama will have the hardest job any president has had in recent memory. He walks into a mine field of problems with the economy, terrorism, and war, and yes, even racism. I can only pray that God will guide him to make the right decisions.
We did not go to the capital to watch the inauguration. It was hard to stay home because we are so close. On a normal day it would take us maybe 45 min to get there, but of course yesterday was no ordinary day. It would have taken f-o-r-e-v-e-r. The time it would have taken to get there plus the fact that Handsome is 20 months old, the temp was 25F, the windchill was 11F, and I was terrified of some attack all kept us home for the day. We watched everything from the comfort of our living room. Handsome knew that we were paying attention to something other than him so he was loud and climbing all over me so that he would get some of the attention. I kept telling him to watch, but of course he would have none of that. And would he crawl all over DH? Of course not. It was only Mom that he wanted. The only time he was quiet was at the end of the speeches when the crowd would clap. He would then look at the TV and clap and laugh right along with them as if he had been listening the whole time - or maybe it was because he thought it was finally over, who knows.
Oh, and one thing that I did not like? I didn't hear it when we were watching, but I heard it in the commentary afterwards. They said that the crowd boo'ed Bush when he was introduced. That makes me angry. Yes, be happy that a new president is coming, but do not disrespect the president that we have had for eight years. You can dislike his policies and even dislike the person if you like, but do not disrespect him. He was leaving office mere moments after his name was announced, why would you feel the need to treat him like that? There would be no good come out of that.
Dear Lord, please help our new president.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Talking things out
So DH and I spoke again. I cried and cried, harder than I have in years. DH held me and patiently waited for me to be able to speak and to listen again. It felt good to finally get all that frustration out. I rarely let myself cry more than just small tears streaming from my eyes. In fact, I don't think DH has ever seen me cry this hard. This was one of those cries where you struggle to breathe and your chin shakes and you just want to crawl into the fetal position in the corner of a room.
We came to a compromise. DH said that he still wants four children, he just doesn't know how we will afford them. He said it's not out of the question, it's just that he wants to graduate from school and see how we can afford two children first. So we decided that next year we will put Handsome in preschool once DH starts working and I will continue working full time. We will do this to build back up savings that is currently being depleted by DH not working and us paying for his school. After a while of that we may have our second child at which time we'll pull Handsome out of daycare and I'll switch to a part time schedule that hopefully DH and I can figure out how to balance my schedule and his so that neither Handsome nor the second child have to go to daycare. I do hope though that the combination of our incomes will be enough for Handsome to continue going to preschool a few days a week, because by that time he'll be 3 years old and he will need at least a little while with other children and learning basic skills. He'll get bored at home with me and the baby all day. We'll see though.
I feel better about things now. I'm still tired, but that has more to do with my schedule than anything else.
I love DH and I love Handsome. I love that God has given me the life that I have. My difficulties are nothing compared to those that others have.
I think I hear Handsome waking up...
We came to a compromise. DH said that he still wants four children, he just doesn't know how we will afford them. He said it's not out of the question, it's just that he wants to graduate from school and see how we can afford two children first. So we decided that next year we will put Handsome in preschool once DH starts working and I will continue working full time. We will do this to build back up savings that is currently being depleted by DH not working and us paying for his school. After a while of that we may have our second child at which time we'll pull Handsome out of daycare and I'll switch to a part time schedule that hopefully DH and I can figure out how to balance my schedule and his so that neither Handsome nor the second child have to go to daycare. I do hope though that the combination of our incomes will be enough for Handsome to continue going to preschool a few days a week, because by that time he'll be 3 years old and he will need at least a little while with other children and learning basic skills. He'll get bored at home with me and the baby all day. We'll see though.
I feel better about things now. I'm still tired, but that has more to do with my schedule than anything else.
I love DH and I love Handsome. I love that God has given me the life that I have. My difficulties are nothing compared to those that others have.
I think I hear Handsome waking up...
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