Sickies

Wrote a week or so ago on my phone and never posted:

Handsome got his first stomach virus last weekend. I heard him yell for me on the monitor. He only yelled once, but he never yells for me at 4am unless there is something actually wrong. So I dragged myself out of bed and went to check on him. I heard him mumbling to himself that Mommy and Daddy weren't coming so he had to figure out what to do. I opened the door and asked what was wrong. He said he was all wet. I asked if he had peed assuming I was right. He said, "No. I hiccuped and got wet from my mouth." Eww. I turned on the light and saw where he had just made it to the door and it was all over his clothes. I cleaned him up and called DH to come, partially because Owen said he wanted to show Daddy and partially because I wanted him to bring the cleaning supplies from downstairs.

DH ended up sleeping in Handsome's room to make sure he made it to the potty or the bucket if he needed to and because Handsome was still a little afraid since this was all new to him. I went back to my room to wait for Junior to wake up for his next feeding. Two hours later Handsome was in need of his bucket. The scary part was he seemed to be heaving in his sleep and didn't wake up until DH made him get up and turn to the bucket.

During the day he would act fine until he needed to run to the bathroom. He had very little appetite though and all I could get him to eat was Popsicles and popcorn.

The next morning he called me at seven am and he had throw up in his bed. It looked like he had done it while sleeping again because it was all dry. Luckily though that was the last time and he felt good the next day.

All in all I think our first bout with a stomach virus went well. No one else in the family got it.

Two days ago Junior decided it was his turn to be fussed over. When he woke up from his nap he was feeling warm. When I checked his temp he had a low grade fever. I checked his mouth and he does have at least one tooth coming in - if not two I'm assuming that's where his fever is coming from since he doesn't have any other symptoms. Then yesterday while Handosome and I were out playing, DH sent me a text saying Junior's temp had risen to 102.7.

And now the update:
Junior's fever lasted about three days. After his fever ended he got a rash that covered all of his body but didn't seem to bother him. Doing my typical internet research (that probably isn't a good idea in general) I found that his symptoms matched Roseola (or Sixth disease). It is apparently very common in kids between six months and three years. After about a day his rash was gone and he was doing great.

I checked his mouth and now he has six teeth (three on top and three on bottom) and two more are about to break through (one on top and one on bottom). He is chewing on anything he can get his mouth on.

Around the end of last week it was apparently my turn to get sick. I got a stomach virus. Not sure if it was the same one that Handsome had or not. I spent many hours in the bathroom and ended up with a fever too. DH actually cleaned the bathroom for me because I was truly that sick. He won lots of points for that one. The bathroom was absolutely spotless when he was done. My virus lasted for about 24 hours - maybe a little more - and then I was good again. I thank the Lord for that one because on Saturday I was alone taking care of both boys and that would have been impossible with the stomach virus I had.

I guess it's DH's turn now. We'll see if he gets anything.

The past few days

On Sunday I caught up on some of the household stuff I've been getting way behind on as a result of our crazy schedule. I did many loads of laundry, cleaned the backyard and brushed all the hair our dog is shedding off of him so that it doesn't end up on the carpet anymore. Handsome was kind enough to help me with everything.

In fact for the past few days both boys have been really attached to me. I'm assuming it's because I've had to work so much lately. Junior will cry if DH is holding him and stare me down no matter where I am in the room. He always wants to be near me. Daddy just isn't what he wants right now. I feel like I have about a two foot rope that is tied between my leg and Handsome's leg and as a result Handsome must ALWAYS be right under my feet. I can't even head to the ladies' room without both of them crying for me. I have to admit that I like being wanted/needed/loved so much. DH on the other hand is really getting his feelings hurt. I know this is only a phase and I do like to spread the love around, but I'll enjoy my snuggles and smiles while I can get them.

Anyway, back to Sunday. I gave Handsome a bath before his naptime because we were both all sorts of stinky from being out back. When he woke up from his nap, he felt warm. He had said his head hurt earlier in the day, but I attributed that to the eye issues that he as been having. We make him wear his eye patch and that forces his weak eye to work harder. I know I used to get headaches if I went between wearing glasses and not wearing glasses so I figured that is what happened. He has never complained of his head hurting before though. After his nap when he said his head hurt again, I decided to check his temperature. 102F He had a fever. Bummer. The only other fever he has ever had was during a bad cold he had when he was about eight months old.

I got him a wet rag for his forehead and we sat on the couch together as he just said he wanted to be held. We didn't have any children's tyelenol, but I didn't want to give it to him right away anyhow. He wasn't being lethargic and still wanted to go to the store, so it didn't seem to be bothering him too much. I know a fever helps kill the virus so I wanted to see how it would progress. If it got worse or if he still had it at bedtime, I would give him some tylenol. As it happened, by bedtime his fever had gone down to 99F and he didn't seem to notice it at all. What it did do was give us a peaceful bedtime which doesn't happen too frequently anymore.

Since he couldn't go to preschool the following morning, I decided to take him to get fitted for new glasses. He woke up fever free and we went to try on glasses. They had two varieties that I couldn't decide between: Miraflex and Flexon.

• Miraflex is plastic and virtually indestructable. It has no hinges and has a band that goes behind his head to make sure they stay on. I was afraid they would look like toy glasses and they would overwhelm his face. I was also afraid that his lashes would constantly hit the glasses. That used to happen to me as a kid and it drove me nuts.
• The Flexon glasses are metal frames that can be twisted and sat on and still return to the original shape. They look more like adult glasses and have a nose piece so that the glasses sit further from his eyes which means no lashes hitting the lens. I was afraid though that the nose piece would be a problem for if/when he falls. And the Flexon was about twice the price of the Miraflex.

I couldn't decide, so I called Mom to decide for me. LOL I'm weak, I admit. Anyway, she said to go for the Flexon because she is really concerned about the social aspect. She is afraid that the other kids would make fun of the other glasses and scar Handsome for life. So on that warning, I got the Flexon. I figure that since it is about to be winter, he will have less of an opportunity to be running around. And a few months from now, I may go ahead and buy the Miraflex as a backup and for the times that he wants to be more rough and tumble.

The glasses should be ready by Thursday and then will begin the adventure of making him wear his glasses full time. While I was buying the glasses I was talking to the woman who sells them - obviously. Anyway, she has been doing the same job for over 20 years. It was a family owned business. I told her about why Handsome needed glasses and she started telling me horror stories. Great, right? She told me about one little girl whose grandmother refused to patch her eye because the girl didn't like it and at 12 years old the girl lost sight in her weak eye. And then there is the story of a little boy whose parents didn't notice and so he didn't get treated. As a result he has a full blown lazy eye now. He can get glasses to help with his sight, but they are litearaly about an inch thick for that one eye and he still can't see clearly. Great. Now I'm worried that poor Handsome is going to end up blind in one eye.

Obviously since we were able to buy glasses on Monday morning, Handsome did not go to preschool. His random fever is completely gone now but he missed his class picture. :'( I was really looking forward to that. I emailed his teacher and she is going to get us a copy of it, but sadly Handsome won't be in the picture. DH took him to his school today to get his individual picture. We don't really need it since I take his picture obsessively, but I'm curious to see how he handles someone else taking his picture.

And now for Junior news.

On Saturday, Junior crawled to the coffee table and pulled himself up to standing so that he could grab something that was on the table. Oh yes, he pulled himself up. My five month old is pulling up to stand. I can't even believe it. My baby was supposed to stay a baby for a little while longer.

And for a little TMI - at least he'll think so when he is older and knows I blogged about it - he hasn't pooped in at least two weeks. The nurse said to give him a laxative. Eww. I went to buy some last night, but the container had already been opened. EWWWW. So we have to take it back. We're also going to buy some Mylicon to see if that helps because Ray massaged his belly yesterday and said Junior farted for about ten minutes straight after that. HAHAHA! I'm glad I wasn't there for that because man do his farts stink!

Junior is also blowing rasberries and saying "bababa" and chewing on his tongue. All very good signs that he is progressing like he should.

His six month appointment is next week.

And in me news.

I got everything done for work that I needed to! YAY!! Talk about a relief. Our house is so much less stresful now.

And in DH news.

He did not pass one of his exams and doesn't know how he did on the other, but he's not hopeful. I am so scared that he won't pass and get his nursing degree. He is so smart, but his school is so unhelpful. The one test that he didn't pass was because he could only miss one element and he missed three. One. And a passing grade on an exam is 78%. Please, Lord, let him pass. We have really struggled to get to this point.

And now that I have written a novel, I'm done. ;)

Two days of no sickness!

For the past couple days I've actually woken up and not been sick! It's been splendid. I'd almost forgotten what it was like to be semi-healthy.

So if you were counting, it was more than a month of stomach/intestinal issues. It was no fun.

And the bill from the ER? Also not fun. I even have good insurance, so I can't imagine how hard it must be to pay an ER bill without good insurance. And I now have what seems to be permanent nerve damage in my hand from where the nurse tried to take my blood. If you rub the back of my hand, I feel tingling in my finger. And lucky me gets to pay the hospital for it.

Vacation.... and now sick

Today is the first day of my two week vacation!!! Yay!!!

But do you know what happened here at the very beginning of my glorious vacation? Sickness. Handsome started with a runny nose on Thursday. Then by Friday all three of us were sick. I am apparently the biggest wuss because all I want to do is sleep. Today DH let me sleep until 11am and probably would have let me sleep all day, but I woke up nauseous from hunger, so I got up. And now? Now I'm sneezing blood. Disgusting, right?

Our flight is on Tuesday. If I am congested while on a flight, I inevitably get an ear infection or two. Please, Lord, let us all be healthy by Tuesday. I don't know if I can handle a whiney, sick child on an airplane when I'm whiney and sick myself.

I hate colds.

Black Friday

DH and I decided that we would go shopping early on Black Friday - something neither DH nor I have ever done, but we're extra poor this year so if anyone was getting Christmas presents this was the only way to go.

The alarm went off, and I hit snooze. The alarm went of again, and I hit snooze again. I hate shopping and getting up early to do it is not on my list of fun things to do. Anyway, we finally got up and I went to get Handsome out of bed. My poor Handsome. He had developed a cold overnight so he was hoarse and wheezing. I was terrified he had pneumonia because I'm that type of mom. It's a good thing that it developed over night because otherwise I would have blamed myself for waking him up so early and taking him shopping.

We all bundled up and went to Walmart. The place was elbow to elbow with people. The main thing that I wanted was a more selfish want. I wanted a Christmas tree. We can't afford one, but Walmart had one on Black Friday for $25! We also bought Christmas presents for Handsome and a couple DVDs that were on sale.

So now I have a Christmas tree. I love it! It is a little Charlie Brown - esqe, but it is my Christmas tree and I've never had my own before. So far Handsome has done really well with not messing with the tree. He'll point at it and ask what it is, but there haven't been any overt attacks of the Christmas tree.

And as for the cold, he didn't speak at all, because he had no voice. He had silent laughs and silent cries. We gave him warm tea with honey to help his throat, Tang for vitamin C, and yogurt for his immune system. I tried to keep a water sippy cup with him at all times. We had to give him Tylenol at one point because the fever started to bother him. He did sleep well though, so I was thankful for that.

Oh, and we found another word that Handsome knows: Bear. When we were at Walmart he started pointing to a display of teddy bears and saying "Bear! Bear!" Too cute.

Grandma, you are missed.

Well, a lot has happened since I last posted.

DH's grandmother passed away on Thur. DH is devastated. He loved his grandmother perhaps more than anyone, and now she passed away when DH is on another continent. He bought a nice coffin for her and helped pay for the funeral, but that is all we could do. It would cost too much right now for him to fly there for her funeral. I know it hurts him that he was so far away from her for the last three years of her life.

As for me, I ended up with an ugly cold. I stayed home from work on Thur and Fri because I just felt horrible. I washed my hands as often as possible in hopes that Handsome wouldn't get sick, but on Sunday we started seeing the snot flowing from his little nose. Sunday night he struggled to go to sleep since he usually sucks his thumb and the stuffed nose was making breathing difficult if he wanted to put his thumb in his mouth. I rocked him and sang to him to help him fall asleep a little easier. He woke up around 4am with a snot filled nose and a very warm body. DH got the Tylenol for him so we could help him feel a little better. I knew he had a low grade fever, but didn't think it was bad enough for more than a little Tylenol. I fed him and he went back to sleep easily. I left for work late this morning, so that I could breastfeed him before work.

We went to a wedding on Saturday. We were late to the actual ceremony so Handsome did great! :) We brought one of those snack traps and he spent the whole time trying to fish out Cheerios. During the reception we did a lot of walking just outside the reception. Everyone commented on how small he was and was already walking. There was a 16 month old walking around that Handsome just wanted to follow all the time. The 16 month old was SO much taller than Handsome!! One of the guys there kept playing with Handsome and saying he looked just like him as a child. One of the workers actually came by a little while later and said, "He looks just like his father!" and was talking about the other guy! DH was away talking to other people so he didn't hear what the guy said.

Handsome has actually been sleeping all the way through the night for about a week now! It is glorious! I pray that it continues. He even slept the whole night at the hotel!

Less Red Eyes

Handsome is doing much better. He is coughing less and his eyes are getting back to their normal color. He made up for his sleep loss yesterday.

I feel like with all the holiday traveling, sickness and crazy work schedule I have lagged seriously in documenting Handsome's life. I hope I will be able to do better now that the craziness is dying down.

Remember the arms that were too short to touch over the top of his head? Well, he is now able to touch his fingers over his head. Yes, only I would document when his arms are long enough to reach over his head, but I thought it was cute.

I haven't gotten any good pictures taken of him lately. I'll take more this coming week since he turns 8 months! It goes so fast!

My baby is sick

My poor Handsome is sick. It's so sad. He has a bad cold. He has been running fevers and refusing to sleep. He will be laughing and playing and then all the sudden have to rub his little eyes. It looks like he is constantly crying with tears constantly falling from his eyes and redness from itchy eyes and all the rubbing. Even when he smiles he can't hide the tired eyes and face that just looks like he is trying so hard to fight the virus but just needs help.

Yesterday morning I called the pediatrician to ask when I should be worried and take him to the doctor, and the nurse said he had to know his temperature before she could tell me anything. I thought when I called back they would say, "We can't do anything for a cold, just keep him on Tylenol and use a humidifier." Well, when I called back and gave his temp of 102F, which I didn't think was too bad, she said to come into the office at 4:15pm. This of course made me panic. Why would it be so incredibly urgent to get him into the office?

So I called work, at this incredibly critical time in the working quarter, and told my boss I needed to take sick leave to take care of my son. I gave Handsome a bath to help control his temperature and for the first time in a few days he was actually laughing and playing in the bathtub and splashing water everywhere.

DH went to work with me for a few hours so that I could attempt to get something done. He held Handsome while I tried to print something out in order to work on it while we were at home. After our two hours at work, we went to Handsome's doctor's appointment.

We got a different doctor than we normally do since this was a last minute appointment. I'm extremely glad that this is not our normal doctor. When he wanted to check Handsome's ears, he had me hold onto Handsome's legs, and then he basically pinned him to the table as Handsome was screaming bloody murder. I wanted to just say stop. The other doctor has me hold Handsome, and then she will check his ears as he holds onto me. He might cry a little, but definitely not as much as he did with this doctor. Anyway, the doctor said he just has a cold, and prescribed Albuterol (sp?) and told us to give him Tylenol and saline drops for his little nose.

Note about Albuterol: it prevents a sick infant from sleeping. Boo. The doctor didn't say this, but all the people that I called did. We gave it to Handsome as soon as we got it, which was around 7pm. I struggled to get Handsome to lay down and sleep as did DH. Neither one of us were successful.

Finally around 2am I gave Handsome a bath. He played while he was in the bathtub and seemed ok except for when he was cough or sneeze or rub his eyes. When it was time to get him out he started shaking. I'm not sure if this was from sickness, medicine, or just being cold. I'm hoping it was from him being cold, but the water was warm and I was holding him in a towel as close to me as he could be. I don't know what it was and it frightened me.

After the bath he slept for about an hour, and then DH was up with him so that I could get a somewhat full two hours of sleep. Finally I couldn't handle the crying, so I got up and fed him. I think he was beyond exhausted at this point because he finally fell asleep. I got two hours of sleep in before he cried again. I fed him again and he went back to sleep again. Three hours later he started crying, but I was too tired to get out of bed, so I was waiting for his crying to get to the point that it would wake me up. At this point his cry was more of a disoriented, annoyed, uncomfortable cry instead of a dire need of a parent cry. Well, he managed to fall back asleep and I did as well.

Then we all slept until noon. So my sleep was from 1-2am, 4-6am, 6:30-9am, 9:30am-noon. DH's sleep was from 4am-noon. That tells me that Handsome finally was able to sleep after the medicine wore off.

Handsome did look better when he woke up. His eyes were still watery, he was still clingy, he still coughed and sneezed and rubbed his eyes, but he didn't look quite so beaten by the virus. I hope today is better for him. I REALLY want him to feel better. I can't stand him being sick and me not being able to make it all better for him.

And now I'm back at work. Remember the crazy schedule I was supposed to have this week? Right, I'm still at work trying to get everything done. I had to take all of yesterday off and then we slept in this morning to try to make up the sleep deficit. Now I have to get as much done today as possible. I REALLY can't be behind on my production.

Dear Lord, please help my family and I get through this weekend.

Sleeping problems

For the past two days Handsome has been on a small sleeping strike. I think he caught my cold. He's been grumpy for two days straight. Whether you hold him or let him crawl he's going to be calm for a little while and then start fussing. Even all the tried and true methods of making him smile wouldn't work.

On Saturday Handsome was finally taking a nap around 6pm and of course he pooped all over the place. This woke him up earlier than he was naturally ready to wake up - again adding to the grumpiness. Then we had to wash the sheets (the extra was also waiting to be washed) and couldn't put him back to bed until they finished washing and drying. This means we couldn't put him to bed until 9pm.

I fed him and put him to bed. 20 minutes later he was screaming. I went to soothe him to sleep again and when I opened the door he was holding on the railing and standing on his knees. I walked him, patting his back, for a while and laid him back down. 30 minutes later he was screaming again. This time DH went to pick him up. He gave him a bottle and actually rocked him until he fell asleep at 11pm. That time he finally stayed asleep for a longer period.

Normally he wakes up in the morning around 9am. On Sunday he woke up at 7am. I got up to feed him and then he wouldn't go back to sleep again. As I also have the same cold he does, I was missing my sleep. I kinda cheated at this point to get more sleep. If I left his bedroom, Handsome would start crying, but he seemed to be ok with me just sitting on the extra bed in his room. So I left him in his crib with his little fabric blocks and climbing on the sides of his crib, and I laid down on the queen sized bed and nodded off to sleep. I did manage to wake up when he pulled the mobile of his bed off. I removed it completely from his crib and laid back down.

Screaming commenced two hours later, so I got up and faced the day. He managed to take one longish nap and did go to bed yesterday without much of a fuss. Hopefully we are over the hump and he will go back to his normal sleeping pattern.

I think I'm spoiled with how easily Handsome sleeps. On a typical day he goes to bed at 8pm after I've bathed a fed him. When I put him in his crib he's not actually asleep so he talks to himself for a little while until he falls asleep about 30min later. Then he's up around 5am when I feed him, and goes back to sleep immediately. He wakes up for the day around 9am, and then naps around 11am four about two hours and then again around 3pm for two or three hours. Now granted of all those hours, he's probably awake at least two or three of them just playing in his crib, but he's at least content and will actually start crying if you interrupt his "me" time.

Soild food

I fed Handsome his first solid food today. It's interesting that they call it solid food. There was nothing solid about it. It seemed a bit like orange juice with the pulp. I mixed the organic rice cereal with breast milk like they said to do, and even added a little more rice cereal, b/c it just didn't seem like enough.

I sat him in the Bumbo on the kitchen floor, set up my video camera, and pried DH from his studies. And then I attempted to spoon feed Handsome. I have to preface this story with the fact that Handsome will put absolutely everything in his mouth. So I put the spoon to his mouth, he gave me a disgusted look and proceeded to spit everything out. He looked none-too-pleased with the whole process. I could just picture him saying, "Mom, what in the world are you doing?!" I kept trying to feed him and the majority of the food ended up on his chin and shirt. In fact after the first few spoonfuls, he wouldn't even open his mouth for the spoon anymore.

So I gave up. DH suggested we try the bottle, so we put it in a bottle. At first I tried to give it to him sitting up, and he wouldn't do much with it. I laid him down across my lap and then he tasted it and repeated the disgusted look. After a while though, he did manage to finish the three ounces that I had prepared. He was much better with the food in the bottle, but I don't think I'm supposed to give it to him that way. I'll try again tomorrow and see what happens.

Should I try the oatmeal variety instead? Would he perhaps like that better? Or should I continue with the same thing for a week just to get him used to it?

I remember being told that the majority of the first meal would end up on him instead of in him, but I thought we could manage a little more than what he got. He did manage to get a bath out of it and he loves his baths. I even let him sit this time and just held him in case he lost his balance. He was very excited.

On a side note, I have a cold. Boo. I hate colds. I went to the grocery store today and bought orange juice... and cookies. Both make me feel better. I'm washing my hands like a madwoman in the hopes that Handsome doesn't get sick.

Failure

I feel like a failure.

I got this stupid infection and now I can't nurse my son. The OB/GYN that I don't trust told me that I had an infection and gave me a topical medicine that she said could be taken while breastfeeding without any problems. Well, honestly SHE told me that I had no infection. Then a few days later, the nurse calls me and says, "By the way, you have this infection. Would you like the topical or oral medication?" I asked the nurse if it was ok to take while breastfeeding and she said it was fine. Would have been nice if the doctor would have been available to answer questions.

So I get the medication and as I'm reading the little insert I notice a special section to women who are nursing. There are two paragraphs. The first states that no specific studies have been done, and the second states that there have been "serious adverse reactions" in breastfeeding infants. Right. What mother in her right mind is going to just take the medicine without questioning at that point?

The insert also says not to use condoms for five days following taking the medicine because it will reduce the integrity of the latex, or whatever barrier used. Great. So there is this medicine that can eat through plastics that I'm supposed to stick up my vajayjay and then breastfeed my baby.

So as suggested by a Pea, I called the pediatrician to get their opinion. They read through a list of medications and said that it was fine. When I probed further they said that the list stated that the medicine had not been fully tested for its effects on breastfed infants, but there had been no adverse reactions reported. Right. They said that all medicinal inserts added warnings like that because it saved their behind (she of course didn't state it exactly like that).

So I took all the advice that I was given and decided that I was going to take the medicine and feed Handsome with the breast milk we have saved up in the freezer for four days. That way the medicine should be out of my bloodstream by the time I am feeding him again.

I took the medicine about 30 minutes ago and now I feel incomplete. I feel like something has been taken away from me. The stupid doctors took away the bond that I have with my son. For almost six months I have breastfed my son every day and now I can't. I didn't realize how attached I was to breastfeeding until now.

I don't know if I can bring myself to feeding him a bottle. I don't feel like I'm supposed to feed him a bottle. It feels like he's going to look at me like I'm withholding from him - almost like I don't love him anymore, like I don't want to be as close to him as I have been for five months.

This is so uncool.

I miss my son. I just breastfed him an hour ago and I already miss him and our bond.

I feel like a failure.