Ick. I hate the discipline part of parenting. I know I need to discipline, and I will, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.
DH has his way of disciplining and I have my way.
DH is what I would call old fashioned. If Handsome does something wrong, he will yell at him, tell him what he did wrong, and spank. Then there will be a staring contest. DH doesn't spank hard, so it doesn't actually hurt. As a result, Handsome will look at your face to see if you meant to punish or if you were just playing with him. If you start to laugh he will laugh like nothing happened, and continue playing. If you remain with a straight face so he knows you are serious he will start to cry and know he did something wrong.
For me, I warn "Handsome, don't pour milk on the table. If you do again then I will take the milk away." He'll look at me, sometimes sad, and sometimes with a smirk, and then he'll continue what he was doing. I then take the milk away. Sometimes he is sad and sometimes he doesn't really care and he'll just go pick something else to play with.
For a while I tried to do the staring thing that DH does. I can't do it. I see his little face and I just have to smile. His little pouty face is so cute, and when he has that little smirk how can you not laugh? Well, laughing defeats the whole discipline purpose. I always lose the staring contests and DH chides me for this. Oops.
Today I decided to start the whole time out thing. Handsome poured his milk on the table - A LOT of milk. So I told him he wasn't supposed to do that and then sat him down in a corner while I went to get paper towels. He tried to get up a few times, and I just put him right back. He cried his little heart out, but I managed to remain strong. Once he sat still I cleaned up the milk and then went to sit next to him. I told him he wasn't supposed to put milk on the table, and then told him I loved him and held him. As soon as I was holding him he was ok again. He had the little tears on his cheeks, but he was ok. After that he didn't want me to let him go, so he sat with me on the couch for a little while. He probably didn't cry for more than 30 sec - 1 min, but it was enough to be effective. I know he's supposed to sit still for an entire minute, but I figured since it was the first time I would give him some slack.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Baby Kisses
I love baby kisses. As I've mentioned before, Handsome has never been a kissy baby. We kiss him all the time, but he doesn't really care much about it. If you put your face out there and say, "Can I have a kiss?" he'll laugh and run away. It's funny, so I still do it.
But today? Today I got baby kisses. I love them! I put my face out there and asked for a kiss and he actually came to me and gave me a kiss! And then he repeatedly came back to me and stuck out his face asking for kisses! I love it! He hasn't gotten the concept of closing his mouth though, so I get open mouthed slobbery kisses. I secretly wipe my mouth when he walks away, but I still love my little kisses. I'd give you the number of kisses, but they were so many I couldn't count. Sweet baby kisses.
But today? Today I got baby kisses. I love them! I put my face out there and asked for a kiss and he actually came to me and gave me a kiss! And then he repeatedly came back to me and stuck out his face asking for kisses! I love it! He hasn't gotten the concept of closing his mouth though, so I get open mouthed slobbery kisses. I secretly wipe my mouth when he walks away, but I still love my little kisses. I'd give you the number of kisses, but they were so many I couldn't count. Sweet baby kisses.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
No girls
DH told me last night he hopes he never gets a daughter. I have to admit I stopped breathing for a minute. No girls?? I want at least one little girl. He sounded pretty serious when he said it too. It came completely out of the blue as we were watching the Democratic National Convention after Handsome had gone to bed.
I asked him what he had said to make sure I actually heard him right. "Why?" He said it's because if he has a girl he will always be worried. He will worry about her being hurt by men. He doesn't want to have to worry about some man abusing her physically or emotionally. He doesn't want to think that someone would hurt his little girl. He said there are too many bad men out there.
Did I mention I love my DH?
I asked him what he had said to make sure I actually heard him right. "Why?" He said it's because if he has a girl he will always be worried. He will worry about her being hurt by men. He doesn't want to have to worry about some man abusing her physically or emotionally. He doesn't want to think that someone would hurt his little girl. He said there are too many bad men out there.
Did I mention I love my DH?
Maybe I'll drink the milk?
So yesterday was day two of the switching milk from the bottle to the sippy cup.
DH has the typical guy way of doing things, "He'll do this or else." I try to opt for the more subtle sneaky ways of convincing, and DH just outright says things must be done. I'm thinking this might help us later on because if one of us can't communicate clearly with Handsome the other one must be able to.
So yesterday afternoon Handsome woke up from his nap and DH took him outside to play. He didn't give him any food or water in hopes that when he got back inside DH could hand him the sippy cup full of milk and Handsome would have no choice but to drink.
They played outside for about an hour and then I got home so they came inside. DH handed Handsome the sippy cup, but Handsome knew what was up. No drinking milk from the sippy cup. He played and kept trying to give the sippy cup back. DH would try to put it in his mouth and Handsome would squirm his way out of DH's hands. He was tired and hungry, you could tell from his almost lethargic movements, but he would not give in.
I couldn't take it anymore so I made food and brought the water sippy cup to Handsome. At first he wouldn't even take the water because he was unsure whether it had milk or not.
We sat down on the kitchen floor with the milk close by and the water way over by DH. He ate for a little bit and then got thirsty. Did he take the closest sippy cup? Of course not. He walked all the way over to DH and got the water. He chugged for a while and then came back to eat more. He sat back down in my lap where now both the water and milk sat in his lap. He ate a little more and then a miracle happened. He drank the water... and then... when he thought no one was looking... he took a tiny little sip of the milk. Immediately it was followed up with water because you never know what that sippy cup milk could contain right? But then he tried the milk again... a little longer sip this time.
I tried to get DH's attention, but he was looking the opposite direction. I finally got his attention, but by that point, Handsome had been distracted and he got up to play. Boo.
But the stubborn streak had been broken. I'm not sure if it was the forcing initially, or the sneaky mix of water and milk sippy cups. Most likely it was because he finally just got curious. It was something new and he was unsure. It took a little while to get used to it, but he got there.
After his dinner was finished he would occasionally walk over to the milk and just try it. Never big sips. He just wanted to test it. To make sure it was safe. To make sure it was still there. To make sure it hadn't miraculously changed back into water.
And when he was tired and it was time to go to bed, I was holding him and gave him the milk sippy cup, and he drank. It wasn't the typical devouring of bottled milk; it was more a resigned, "I'm so tired, and I don't have the energy to resist any more. I do like milk, and I have no control over what container it comes in. Please just let me sleep."
So we are closer. I don't think he is going to resist for too much longer. Tomorrow could be a renewed energy to fight the milk sippy cup, but I think he's already accepted that the bottle is no more. This will make church more difficult, but oh well. People would have started giving me the evil eye for giving him a bottle anyway.
DH has the typical guy way of doing things, "He'll do this or else." I try to opt for the more subtle sneaky ways of convincing, and DH just outright says things must be done. I'm thinking this might help us later on because if one of us can't communicate clearly with Handsome the other one must be able to.
So yesterday afternoon Handsome woke up from his nap and DH took him outside to play. He didn't give him any food or water in hopes that when he got back inside DH could hand him the sippy cup full of milk and Handsome would have no choice but to drink.
They played outside for about an hour and then I got home so they came inside. DH handed Handsome the sippy cup, but Handsome knew what was up. No drinking milk from the sippy cup. He played and kept trying to give the sippy cup back. DH would try to put it in his mouth and Handsome would squirm his way out of DH's hands. He was tired and hungry, you could tell from his almost lethargic movements, but he would not give in.
I couldn't take it anymore so I made food and brought the water sippy cup to Handsome. At first he wouldn't even take the water because he was unsure whether it had milk or not.
We sat down on the kitchen floor with the milk close by and the water way over by DH. He ate for a little bit and then got thirsty. Did he take the closest sippy cup? Of course not. He walked all the way over to DH and got the water. He chugged for a while and then came back to eat more. He sat back down in my lap where now both the water and milk sat in his lap. He ate a little more and then a miracle happened. He drank the water... and then... when he thought no one was looking... he took a tiny little sip of the milk. Immediately it was followed up with water because you never know what that sippy cup milk could contain right? But then he tried the milk again... a little longer sip this time.
I tried to get DH's attention, but he was looking the opposite direction. I finally got his attention, but by that point, Handsome had been distracted and he got up to play. Boo.
But the stubborn streak had been broken. I'm not sure if it was the forcing initially, or the sneaky mix of water and milk sippy cups. Most likely it was because he finally just got curious. It was something new and he was unsure. It took a little while to get used to it, but he got there.
After his dinner was finished he would occasionally walk over to the milk and just try it. Never big sips. He just wanted to test it. To make sure it was safe. To make sure it was still there. To make sure it hadn't miraculously changed back into water.
And when he was tired and it was time to go to bed, I was holding him and gave him the milk sippy cup, and he drank. It wasn't the typical devouring of bottled milk; it was more a resigned, "I'm so tired, and I don't have the energy to resist any more. I do like milk, and I have no control over what container it comes in. Please just let me sleep."
So we are closer. I don't think he is going to resist for too much longer. Tomorrow could be a renewed energy to fight the milk sippy cup, but I think he's already accepted that the bottle is no more. This will make church more difficult, but oh well. People would have started giving me the evil eye for giving him a bottle anyway.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Laundry Money
In Ghana, the women wash the family's clothes. If someone forgot and left money in their pockets the women get to keep the money. Fair and square. Finders keepers, losers weepers.
DH does the laundry at our house.
I left $10 in my pocket on Monday.
Crap.
DH does the laundry at our house.
I left $10 in my pocket on Monday.
Crap.
Doctor says no more bottles
So the doctor asked us yesterday if Handsome is still taking a bottle. Yes, for milk. She said no more bottle - adamantly. I don't understand this seemingly ardent battle against bottles and getting children off them so early. I don't get it. If he likes the bottle, he likes the bottle. He doesn't take it in bed. He gets maybe two a day. If he doesn't get them, he's not grumpy, he doesn't care. So really, what's the harm in drinking milk from a bottle every now and then? He's not going to waltz into kindergarten with a bottle tucked into his bag for naptime. He's not going to walk into his first college class and need to quickly take a swig of milk from his bottle to calm himself before class. So really, what's the rush??
And to go even further, why is the sippy cup so much better than the bottle? It is just a different shaped bottle. It's not a cup. It's a bottle with handles.
Nevertheless, the doctor - and the rest of American society - says with a stern look that Handsome is too old to drink from a bottle.
So last night I put a little milk into one of his sippy cups. I sat down on the couch with him and handed him his sippy cup milk. He took the sippy cup quickly and started downing the milk. No time for breathing, he was thirsty. And then he stopped. He looked up at me perplexed and then at his sippy cup. "Mom, this is not water. Sippy cups are for water. Didn't you get the memo?" Ok, he didn't say that, but his eyes are very expressive. He threw the milk sippy cup away like it was contaminated and got down on the floor. I turned away to look at the computer and not two seconds later I heard Handsome say "eh?" heard massive gulping as he downed some sort of liquid and felt him handing something to me. In my head I was thinking, "Yay! He's drinking the milk!"
No. He was not drinking the milk, because if you recall sippy cups are for water. When I turned around I saw Handsome handing me the sippy cup with milk as he was drinking the water from his other sippy cup like he hadn't had water to drink for weeks. He finished gulping and then was breathing heavily to make up for all the time he had been drinking and not breathing. He pushed the milk sippy cup further on my lap and away from him. I'm sure I saw a defiant look hiding in the back of his eyes. He left the milk sippy cup and walked around the living room gulping water until he finished the entire cup of water. Then he brought that sippy cup to me to get more water.
No amount of re-handing the milk sippy cup to him would convince him to drink from it again. He had been fooled once and it wouldn't happen again. I even tried to angle it so that he couldn't see the liquid inside so maybe he would think it had water. Nope. He's a smart little bugger.
He can get his dairy from yogurt. Who needs milk anyway. Stubborn child.
And to go even further, why is the sippy cup so much better than the bottle? It is just a different shaped bottle. It's not a cup. It's a bottle with handles.
Nevertheless, the doctor - and the rest of American society - says with a stern look that Handsome is too old to drink from a bottle.
So last night I put a little milk into one of his sippy cups. I sat down on the couch with him and handed him his sippy cup milk. He took the sippy cup quickly and started downing the milk. No time for breathing, he was thirsty. And then he stopped. He looked up at me perplexed and then at his sippy cup. "Mom, this is not water. Sippy cups are for water. Didn't you get the memo?" Ok, he didn't say that, but his eyes are very expressive. He threw the milk sippy cup away like it was contaminated and got down on the floor. I turned away to look at the computer and not two seconds later I heard Handsome say "eh?" heard massive gulping as he downed some sort of liquid and felt him handing something to me. In my head I was thinking, "Yay! He's drinking the milk!"
No. He was not drinking the milk, because if you recall sippy cups are for water. When I turned around I saw Handsome handing me the sippy cup with milk as he was drinking the water from his other sippy cup like he hadn't had water to drink for weeks. He finished gulping and then was breathing heavily to make up for all the time he had been drinking and not breathing. He pushed the milk sippy cup further on my lap and away from him. I'm sure I saw a defiant look hiding in the back of his eyes. He left the milk sippy cup and walked around the living room gulping water until he finished the entire cup of water. Then he brought that sippy cup to me to get more water.
No amount of re-handing the milk sippy cup to him would convince him to drink from it again. He had been fooled once and it wouldn't happen again. I even tried to angle it so that he couldn't see the liquid inside so maybe he would think it had water. Nope. He's a smart little bugger.
He can get his dairy from yogurt. Who needs milk anyway. Stubborn child.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
15 Month Baby Stats
Handsome went to the doctor for his 15 month check up. These are his stats:
23.12 lbs - 45%
29.5 in - 7%
19.25 in - 90%
You know what those numbers mean? It means he's back on the charts again! Grow, Handsome, grow!
He did really well at the doctor's office. He ran around the waiting room and flirted with everyone there. He even smiled at the nurse and initially at the doctor. When we put him on the scale the nurse gave him one of those tongue sticks with a sticker on the top and it kept him occupied enough so that he didn't cry on the scale. That was the first time he didn't cry.
The Dr. said that overall he was doing well. She said he is doing well with understanding what we say, but delayed in speech. I knew he was going to be delayed speaking, and thought he would be delayed with understanding as well. She also said he was independent. Yes, definitely independent.
I let him get the chickenpox vaccine, but did not get the MMR. She told me all the horrible things that can happen if he isn't vaccinated, but I still didn't get him the vaccination. I will call the county and see if I can get the vaccinations in separate doses. No, I don't think it causes autism, but I do think it might be a contributing factor. Anyhow, I will get him vaccinated, I'm just going to delay it for a little while.
23.12 lbs - 45%
29.5 in - 7%
19.25 in - 90%
You know what those numbers mean? It means he's back on the charts again! Grow, Handsome, grow!
He did really well at the doctor's office. He ran around the waiting room and flirted with everyone there. He even smiled at the nurse and initially at the doctor. When we put him on the scale the nurse gave him one of those tongue sticks with a sticker on the top and it kept him occupied enough so that he didn't cry on the scale. That was the first time he didn't cry.
The Dr. said that overall he was doing well. She said he is doing well with understanding what we say, but delayed in speech. I knew he was going to be delayed speaking, and thought he would be delayed with understanding as well. She also said he was independent. Yes, definitely independent.
I let him get the chickenpox vaccine, but did not get the MMR. She told me all the horrible things that can happen if he isn't vaccinated, but I still didn't get him the vaccination. I will call the county and see if I can get the vaccinations in separate doses. No, I don't think it causes autism, but I do think it might be a contributing factor. Anyhow, I will get him vaccinated, I'm just going to delay it for a little while.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Baby Show
I had to come home early today so that DH could go to school, so of course I was watching the baby shows on the Health Channel. Handsome was sitting on my lap watching with me and eating his lunch. He pointed at the TV when one of the babies was crying. I said, "That's a baby. Someday you might have a little brother or sister to play with. Wouldn't that be fun? Don't you want a little brother or sister?" At this point he started to vehemently shake his head no! HAHA!!! I'm not sure just how much he understands at this point, but it seems he is enjoying being an only child. :)
Date Rape Drug
Tragedy happened this weekend to my bf. She has had so many terrible things happen to her lately and it just seems to be getting worse every time.
This weekend she went out for a girls night with her SIL and another friend who was the designated driver. They went to a piano bar which is frequented by an older crowd and not really the crazy bar scene. They were talking to a guy for most of the night and he offered to buy them drinks. They agreed. A little while later bf told the dd that she had a headache and was going to the bathroom. The next thing she remembers is waking up the next morning.
They had given her the date rape drug. My bf ended up lucky, her SIL did not. In the morning she got the story of what happened. Apparently the DD noticed after awhile that no one had come back from the bathroom. She started searching for them and found my bf outside the bar passed out on the concrete with a group of girls around her. The police were called.
They saw the surveillance video. You could see four guys near a car and the two girls shaking their heads like they didn't want to go. There was one guy standing behind each of them. They decided to put her SIL in the car first. As they were focused on getting her in the car, my bf wandered off. They turned around didn't see her and drove off.
Her SIL woke up Sunday morning in an unknown apartment next to an unknown man. He drove her to my bf apartment. She had been brutally raped. Bruises, bleeding, in need of stitches, and in severe pain. Their blood tested positive for the date rape drug, and her SIL tested positive for rape. The rest of her blood work is still processing.
They have the surveillance videos, pictures from bf's camera, their clothes, and fluids from inside her SIL. They have the evidence and they are charging the guys with kidnapping, rape, attempted kidnapping, attempted rape, and two charges of something like drugging.
If these police can't catch these men soon then there is something terribly wrong with the system. I want them to sit in prison for a very long time.
I haven't been able to focus on anything since she told me about this. I just want to fly there and stay with her and make sure she is ok. I want her to be ok. I want all the drama to stop in her life. I want to wake up and realize this was just a bad dream, and that she and her SIL are ok.
If you pray, please pray for my bf and her SIL.
This weekend she went out for a girls night with her SIL and another friend who was the designated driver. They went to a piano bar which is frequented by an older crowd and not really the crazy bar scene. They were talking to a guy for most of the night and he offered to buy them drinks. They agreed. A little while later bf told the dd that she had a headache and was going to the bathroom. The next thing she remembers is waking up the next morning.
They had given her the date rape drug. My bf ended up lucky, her SIL did not. In the morning she got the story of what happened. Apparently the DD noticed after awhile that no one had come back from the bathroom. She started searching for them and found my bf outside the bar passed out on the concrete with a group of girls around her. The police were called.
They saw the surveillance video. You could see four guys near a car and the two girls shaking their heads like they didn't want to go. There was one guy standing behind each of them. They decided to put her SIL in the car first. As they were focused on getting her in the car, my bf wandered off. They turned around didn't see her and drove off.
Her SIL woke up Sunday morning in an unknown apartment next to an unknown man. He drove her to my bf apartment. She had been brutally raped. Bruises, bleeding, in need of stitches, and in severe pain. Their blood tested positive for the date rape drug, and her SIL tested positive for rape. The rest of her blood work is still processing.
They have the surveillance videos, pictures from bf's camera, their clothes, and fluids from inside her SIL. They have the evidence and they are charging the guys with kidnapping, rape, attempted kidnapping, attempted rape, and two charges of something like drugging.
If these police can't catch these men soon then there is something terribly wrong with the system. I want them to sit in prison for a very long time.
I haven't been able to focus on anything since she told me about this. I just want to fly there and stay with her and make sure she is ok. I want her to be ok. I want all the drama to stop in her life. I want to wake up and realize this was just a bad dream, and that she and her SIL are ok.
If you pray, please pray for my bf and her SIL.
Sister4 returned - Again.
Ok, so here we are going to delve into Ghanaian culture a little further. It's confusing to me, so I'm sure it will be confusing to everyone else as well.
There is a lot of local religion in Ghana - the many facets of which I doubt I will ever learn. The return of Sister4 is deep in the heart of local beliefs. The return of Sister4 they believe is because of the "dwarfs." Now when I say dwarf I don't mean a person who is physically short. It is the translation much like if I said "My stomach is white." It means "I'm happy." They are the literal translation and the actual translation.
So the belief is that there are these beings that live in the bush. Very few people have seen the dwarfs. They believe that if the dwarfs tell you to do something, you must. If you don't then they will kill you. DH says people walk around looking rather crazed so you just know that the dwarfs were talking to them.
Now to me this sounds like people who are actually mentally ill, but I suppose I should keep my peanut gallery comments out.
On Saturday the dwarfs spoke to DHs step mother (the mother of Sister4) and told her to walk and get Sister4. She walked all the way to their village, found Sister4, and brought her home. There was no fight. Somehow the boys knew that the dwarfs had sent her and so they were afraid to do anything. They knew that if they did anything to stop her then the dwarfs would kill them.
So Sister4 is home again. DH spoke to her and she said they did not violate her in any way, and he seemed inclined to believe her. So now she is going to stay with her mother's parents for a while in hopes that the boys won't come for her there.
If she is pregnant I told him that I would want to adopt the baby. I don't want her to get an abortion, but if she had the baby she would have to give him/her to her parents because according to culture, the baby doesn't belong to her since she's not married. The child becomes a bastard child and treated poorly. I would rather take the child here so that he/she is cherished as one of my own than ridiculed as a mistake.
There is a lot of local religion in Ghana - the many facets of which I doubt I will ever learn. The return of Sister4 is deep in the heart of local beliefs. The return of Sister4 they believe is because of the "dwarfs." Now when I say dwarf I don't mean a person who is physically short. It is the translation much like if I said "My stomach is white." It means "I'm happy." They are the literal translation and the actual translation.
So the belief is that there are these beings that live in the bush. Very few people have seen the dwarfs. They believe that if the dwarfs tell you to do something, you must. If you don't then they will kill you. DH says people walk around looking rather crazed so you just know that the dwarfs were talking to them.
Now to me this sounds like people who are actually mentally ill, but I suppose I should keep my peanut gallery comments out.
On Saturday the dwarfs spoke to DHs step mother (the mother of Sister4) and told her to walk and get Sister4. She walked all the way to their village, found Sister4, and brought her home. There was no fight. Somehow the boys knew that the dwarfs had sent her and so they were afraid to do anything. They knew that if they did anything to stop her then the dwarfs would kill them.
So Sister4 is home again. DH spoke to her and she said they did not violate her in any way, and he seemed inclined to believe her. So now she is going to stay with her mother's parents for a while in hopes that the boys won't come for her there.
If she is pregnant I told him that I would want to adopt the baby. I don't want her to get an abortion, but if she had the baby she would have to give him/her to her parents because according to culture, the baby doesn't belong to her since she's not married. The child becomes a bastard child and treated poorly. I would rather take the child here so that he/she is cherished as one of my own than ridiculed as a mistake.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
My Puppy
This is Dog. He is my first baby. I got him as a puppy, but when I left for the Peace Corps I had to leave my four legged baby with first my roomate and then with my parents. He just joined me again in late 'o5. Poor dog doesn't have it nearly as easy as he used to. His back legs don't work well so he can't climb stairs anymore. We're also trying to merge Ghanaian and American culture and in his case, the Ghanaian culture seems to have won. They treat their dogs like, well, dogs. Americans treat their dogs like babies. We go see him occasionally, but he isn't the constant presence that he used to be. Poor Dog.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Kisses and Grandma
Handsome I think hit a couple milestones today. Well, not technically milestones, but I think they are pretty important. Twice today he just walked up to DH, who was sitting on the floor, and kissed him on the lips!!! Handsome has never been a kissy baby. He'll hug, but he's never just walked up and kissed. A couple times he's done it to me, but I wasn't sure if that's what he was actually doing. But today it was obvious. He kissed his Daddy. Too cute!
Then I was on the phone with my mother. DH had gone upstairs. When I got off the phone, Handsome of course came for the phone. I told him it was Grandma on the phone and he pointed to a photo on the wall of his Grandma! He actually understood me! Yay!! Now granted the Grandma he pointed to was actually DHs mom, but still, it was a Grandma!
Then I was on the phone with my mother. DH had gone upstairs. When I got off the phone, Handsome of course came for the phone. I told him it was Grandma on the phone and he pointed to a photo on the wall of his Grandma! He actually understood me! Yay!! Now granted the Grandma he pointed to was actually DHs mom, but still, it was a Grandma!
Friday, August 22, 2008
One wife stolen, A different wife returned
So for those following the drama unfolding with DHs family, here's the most recent update.
Another wrinkle in the story is that the guy stealing DHs sister is DH's, brother's, brother in law. Did you follow? DH's younger brother - around let's say 22 years old - just got married about six months ago. He married a girl from a nearby village. The elders arranged it and they brought the girl to live with DH's family and marry DH's brother. She's the one that I previously discussed tho allegedly dropped out of school. Remember? OK, well her direct brother is the one kidnapping DH's sister. So basically if they did get married it would be a brother and sister married to another family's brother and sister. This is not typically done, but does happen.
I should give names to them huh? OK, let's call DH's brother, Brother2, and his wife is Brother2Wife. Brother2Wife's brother is Prick1. DH's sister who was taken is Sister4.
So, as I posted earlier, Prick1 kidnapped Sister4 again today. Brother2 is angry just like DH is angry. Brother2 decided that it was his fault because he had married Brother2Wife. He felt like Prick1 wouldn't have even known Sister4 existed if he hadn't married Brother2Wife. So, today, in an effort to get Prick1 to let Sister4 come home, he told the elders to take Brother2Wife, his wife, back to her family. So they took her today. After six months of marriage, Brother2 gave up his wife in order to potentially clear the way for Sister4 to come home. He also stated that he didn't want to be married to such a troublesome family.
I don't really know what to think about this whole situation. I'm glad he is trying to do something to help, and I know it will be less trouble for the family if they never have to deal with that family again, but he's been married to her for six months. They seemed to like each other. And she didn't really get a say in this. Her brother ruined her marriage. For my part, I'm just praying she isn't pregnant. Maybe it was never consummated. Who knows.
The whole thing is like a soap opera. I'd rather leave the soap operas on TV and have a calmer life.
Another wrinkle in the story is that the guy stealing DHs sister is DH's, brother's, brother in law. Did you follow? DH's younger brother - around let's say 22 years old - just got married about six months ago. He married a girl from a nearby village. The elders arranged it and they brought the girl to live with DH's family and marry DH's brother. She's the one that I previously discussed tho allegedly dropped out of school. Remember? OK, well her direct brother is the one kidnapping DH's sister. So basically if they did get married it would be a brother and sister married to another family's brother and sister. This is not typically done, but does happen.
I should give names to them huh? OK, let's call DH's brother, Brother2, and his wife is Brother2Wife. Brother2Wife's brother is Prick1. DH's sister who was taken is Sister4.
So, as I posted earlier, Prick1 kidnapped Sister4 again today. Brother2 is angry just like DH is angry. Brother2 decided that it was his fault because he had married Brother2Wife. He felt like Prick1 wouldn't have even known Sister4 existed if he hadn't married Brother2Wife. So, today, in an effort to get Prick1 to let Sister4 come home, he told the elders to take Brother2Wife, his wife, back to her family. So they took her today. After six months of marriage, Brother2 gave up his wife in order to potentially clear the way for Sister4 to come home. He also stated that he didn't want to be married to such a troublesome family.
I don't really know what to think about this whole situation. I'm glad he is trying to do something to help, and I know it will be less trouble for the family if they never have to deal with that family again, but he's been married to her for six months. They seemed to like each other. And she didn't really get a say in this. Her brother ruined her marriage. For my part, I'm just praying she isn't pregnant. Maybe it was never consummated. Who knows.
The whole thing is like a soap opera. I'd rather leave the soap operas on TV and have a calmer life.
Keep your hands off her
They took DHs sister again. They brought her back on Wed and took her again on Thur. Why would you go through the trouble or returning her just to take her again? They came to take her in the middle of the day when all the men were all out working on the farms so only women and children were left at home.
I have nothing but hatred for these boys. I don't like to say that I hate people, but stealing someone else's child? I hate that and the desire that leads to that. And raping a child? I despise that. I don't have a great vocabulary, but if I did I would go through every word to describe the depth and color of my hatred.
I've been trying to find a justification for their actions and I have come up short. It's not like they couldn't have found a girl that was not in school. It's not like they couldn't have found a girl that they knew. She was not the only girl available. Why not go the traditional way and find someone where all family members agree to the marriage? And really? They wouldn't have had to try to hard to convince DH's step mother for the girl. The girl may have even agreed if asked. Why not ask? Why would you force a girl, or any person really?
I don't understand it. If this were my daughter you can bet on me going to every person that I could. I would talk to the police, the chief, the elders, the boys parents, the Girl Child people, the headmaster of the school, the landlord, the priest, the local government representatives. You name the person and I'd be there knocking on the door. I understand that the boys are stupid and could get violent with myself or my daughter, so I would find an intermediary, but it would be an immediate intermediary.
I am praying she is safe. I am praying at least the boy's family is taking good care of her.
This has been a rude awakening to me. I like to live in a world where bad things like this don't happen. They are only stories of what could happen, but good is always triumphant. Here, good didn't win, and I don't like it.
God, I don't understand.
I have nothing but hatred for these boys. I don't like to say that I hate people, but stealing someone else's child? I hate that and the desire that leads to that. And raping a child? I despise that. I don't have a great vocabulary, but if I did I would go through every word to describe the depth and color of my hatred.
I've been trying to find a justification for their actions and I have come up short. It's not like they couldn't have found a girl that was not in school. It's not like they couldn't have found a girl that they knew. She was not the only girl available. Why not go the traditional way and find someone where all family members agree to the marriage? And really? They wouldn't have had to try to hard to convince DH's step mother for the girl. The girl may have even agreed if asked. Why not ask? Why would you force a girl, or any person really?
I don't understand it. If this were my daughter you can bet on me going to every person that I could. I would talk to the police, the chief, the elders, the boys parents, the Girl Child people, the headmaster of the school, the landlord, the priest, the local government representatives. You name the person and I'd be there knocking on the door. I understand that the boys are stupid and could get violent with myself or my daughter, so I would find an intermediary, but it would be an immediate intermediary.
I am praying she is safe. I am praying at least the boy's family is taking good care of her.
This has been a rude awakening to me. I like to live in a world where bad things like this don't happen. They are only stories of what could happen, but good is always triumphant. Here, good didn't win, and I don't like it.
God, I don't understand.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
DH's Crusade
DH apparently has his own personal crusade. And really, I'm proud of him for this. He's been going through a really rough patch so I thought I would brag on him a little. He doesn't really read this blog, but maybe it'll help in some silent way.
DH stands up for the Girl Child.
As most people know, education in developing nations is a little sporadic. Schools are hard to come by and once at the school it is hard to attract students and keep them. In America school is free for everyone. Not only is it free, but there are laws saying we must send our children to school. In this way we are trying our hardest to educate every single child and give every child that chance.
In Ghana, they haven't yet reached that point. Education is for those who can afford it. Students must pay school fees, buy their own school desk and chair, buy their own books, and their own uniforms. Everything is mandatory in order to attend the school. The government proclaims that books are provided for every school, but when versions are updated, they are not supplied. When books are worn from years of use, they are not replaced. When a single corrupt person somewhere in the chain from getting books ordered to getting them to the schools steals the books or the funds, the schools never get the books. Not only do the students bear the burden of paying for school supplies, their families must make do without the money they spent on education and without the extra hands to farm to feed the family.
Families have many children for many reasons. They don't have birth control, they don't know how many will actually survive, and the more children they have, the more hands to work the farm. When one child leaves for school, they have a huge financial burden. The school has taken one who will farm, fetch water, clean, hunt, cook, etc., and left the family with a seemingly non contributing family member constantly asking for money for school and food to eat. A family sacrifices a lot to send a child to school.
Catholic Relief Services used to provide free lunch to elementary school students to encourage families to send their children to school. Sometimes this meal was the only food that child would get for the day. Catholic Relief Services recently suspended their program for lack of funds. Bad economy.
When it comes to decided who to send to school, little girls get the short end of the stick. Girls do a huge amount of the household chores and moms struggle to get everything done without them. Plus men need to be the head of the household so why educate a girl? A girl needs to know how to cook, clean, harvest, and care for children. They don't need to learn anything in school. A man however must provide for his family and if he can manage to get a non-farming job, then his family will eat well and afford a nice home. A man wants a woman who can cook well and listen to instructions. ... Or so some think.
What often happens is that girls are sent to school until they are old enough to marry. As soon as they are able to marry, the families remove the girls from school and send them to the man's home. Many times it is arranged by both families.
In order to stop the removal of girls from schools, the government passed legislation that says a girl can not be taken from school to be married. She must first finish school.
You see, a guy can be visiting a friend in a neighboring village and see a girl. He likes the way this girl looks, so he comes back a few days later with a few of his pals. When she is alone on a path, they take her. They don't care if she is a student or not. She has been "eloped." She has no choice but to stay. She is but a female. They watch her every move to ensure that she does not leave.
Even if her family can get her back, she will have a rough time. As you can assume, she has likely been raped and may be pregnant. I should add these girls can be as young as 13 or 14. Who would want to marry a girl who is known to not be a virgin? She will often refuse to return to school at this point. Who would have the motivation to go anymore?
DH takes education very seriously. He believes everyone should be educated. The sacrifices made are necessary and worth every minute after you graduate. He would go days between eating when in school. His family did not have money. His grandfather sold the family's cows to pay for his education. After the first year he qualified for a scholarship and had the last two years paid for. Education means everything to him.
So when DH sees a family keeping a child from school he gets irate. Especially if the child wants to go to school.
He called the Girl Child agency on his older sister because she was keeping his younger sister to take care of her children and not letting the younger sister go to school. They forced her to give his little sister back to their mother so that she could go to school. She started first grade at 13 years old.
He called the Girl Child agency on his aunt. She was keeping his cousin out of school. His cousin now lives with DH's father and is attending school.
DH nearly called the Girl Child agency on his own father and brother when his brother married a girl that was formerly a student. It was being debated whether the former part was before they got married or a result thereof. They convinced him she hadn't been a student for a while, but he still isn't happy with them.
The most recent is with DH's half sister. She was eloped last week. This hit him hard since he is now so far away. He has been on the phone day and night trying to get her back. He is not sleeping from the worry about her. He called the head of the Girl Child agency and she told him that she would take care of it, but she was in a different region of the country and wouldn't be able to help for a week. This is hard to take when you don't know what is happening to your sister. Finally all the threats to the guys who took her paid off, and she came home yesterday. They are going to take her to the hospital to make sure she is ok - at least physically. DH is afraid she won't return to school and that she may be pregnant. She is around 16 years old.
People in his village and his entire family know not to take a girl out of school. DH is not afraid to call the authorities on you. He seems to be the guardian of all the students in his village.
He stands up for people who can't stand up for themselves and I love him for it.
I love you, DH. I'm so blessed that God gave you to me and me to you. Our son is lucky to have you as a father and an example of how a man should be. And if we ever have a little girl, I know you will always guard her safety and her education and love her for all that she is and all that she can be.
(I didn't proofread, so JC, did you find anything?)
DH stands up for the Girl Child.
As most people know, education in developing nations is a little sporadic. Schools are hard to come by and once at the school it is hard to attract students and keep them. In America school is free for everyone. Not only is it free, but there are laws saying we must send our children to school. In this way we are trying our hardest to educate every single child and give every child that chance.
In Ghana, they haven't yet reached that point. Education is for those who can afford it. Students must pay school fees, buy their own school desk and chair, buy their own books, and their own uniforms. Everything is mandatory in order to attend the school. The government proclaims that books are provided for every school, but when versions are updated, they are not supplied. When books are worn from years of use, they are not replaced. When a single corrupt person somewhere in the chain from getting books ordered to getting them to the schools steals the books or the funds, the schools never get the books. Not only do the students bear the burden of paying for school supplies, their families must make do without the money they spent on education and without the extra hands to farm to feed the family.
Families have many children for many reasons. They don't have birth control, they don't know how many will actually survive, and the more children they have, the more hands to work the farm. When one child leaves for school, they have a huge financial burden. The school has taken one who will farm, fetch water, clean, hunt, cook, etc., and left the family with a seemingly non contributing family member constantly asking for money for school and food to eat. A family sacrifices a lot to send a child to school.
Catholic Relief Services used to provide free lunch to elementary school students to encourage families to send their children to school. Sometimes this meal was the only food that child would get for the day. Catholic Relief Services recently suspended their program for lack of funds. Bad economy.
When it comes to decided who to send to school, little girls get the short end of the stick. Girls do a huge amount of the household chores and moms struggle to get everything done without them. Plus men need to be the head of the household so why educate a girl? A girl needs to know how to cook, clean, harvest, and care for children. They don't need to learn anything in school. A man however must provide for his family and if he can manage to get a non-farming job, then his family will eat well and afford a nice home. A man wants a woman who can cook well and listen to instructions. ... Or so some think.
What often happens is that girls are sent to school until they are old enough to marry. As soon as they are able to marry, the families remove the girls from school and send them to the man's home. Many times it is arranged by both families.
In order to stop the removal of girls from schools, the government passed legislation that says a girl can not be taken from school to be married. She must first finish school.
You see, a guy can be visiting a friend in a neighboring village and see a girl. He likes the way this girl looks, so he comes back a few days later with a few of his pals. When she is alone on a path, they take her. They don't care if she is a student or not. She has been "eloped." She has no choice but to stay. She is but a female. They watch her every move to ensure that she does not leave.
Even if her family can get her back, she will have a rough time. As you can assume, she has likely been raped and may be pregnant. I should add these girls can be as young as 13 or 14. Who would want to marry a girl who is known to not be a virgin? She will often refuse to return to school at this point. Who would have the motivation to go anymore?
DH takes education very seriously. He believes everyone should be educated. The sacrifices made are necessary and worth every minute after you graduate. He would go days between eating when in school. His family did not have money. His grandfather sold the family's cows to pay for his education. After the first year he qualified for a scholarship and had the last two years paid for. Education means everything to him.
So when DH sees a family keeping a child from school he gets irate. Especially if the child wants to go to school.
He called the Girl Child agency on his older sister because she was keeping his younger sister to take care of her children and not letting the younger sister go to school. They forced her to give his little sister back to their mother so that she could go to school. She started first grade at 13 years old.
He called the Girl Child agency on his aunt. She was keeping his cousin out of school. His cousin now lives with DH's father and is attending school.
DH nearly called the Girl Child agency on his own father and brother when his brother married a girl that was formerly a student. It was being debated whether the former part was before they got married or a result thereof. They convinced him she hadn't been a student for a while, but he still isn't happy with them.
The most recent is with DH's half sister. She was eloped last week. This hit him hard since he is now so far away. He has been on the phone day and night trying to get her back. He is not sleeping from the worry about her. He called the head of the Girl Child agency and she told him that she would take care of it, but she was in a different region of the country and wouldn't be able to help for a week. This is hard to take when you don't know what is happening to your sister. Finally all the threats to the guys who took her paid off, and she came home yesterday. They are going to take her to the hospital to make sure she is ok - at least physically. DH is afraid she won't return to school and that she may be pregnant. She is around 16 years old.
People in his village and his entire family know not to take a girl out of school. DH is not afraid to call the authorities on you. He seems to be the guardian of all the students in his village.
He stands up for people who can't stand up for themselves and I love him for it.
I love you, DH. I'm so blessed that God gave you to me and me to you. Our son is lucky to have you as a father and an example of how a man should be. And if we ever have a little girl, I know you will always guard her safety and her education and love her for all that she is and all that she can be.
(I didn't proofread, so JC, did you find anything?)
Pictures
I've decided that I need to start posting pictures. Pictures make blogs more interesting. I will stick by rules set in my family, but if I post pictures of my dog, for instance, I'm good right? So my goal is one picture per week. Think I'll be able to keep up with that goal? I don't, but I'll try.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Library Lullabies
Last night Handsome and I went to the semi-local library for Library Lullabies. We met a few other mothers there in our local mom's group. Handsome LOVED it!!! It was TOO cute!
We got there after they had already started, but I swear they started early and we were on time. We squeezed between all the kids and mommies and sat next to one of our friends. I sat on the floor and put Handsome in my lap. The woman reading the book was very animated. She changed her voices and waved her arms, and Handsome thrived on it.
He started out sitting very seriously. He looked around the room and first noticed the huge stuffed gorilla in front of us. He pointed and looked back at me. I told him it was a gorilla and tried to redirect his attention to the storyteller. And then she said something along the lines of "And the bear gave a big YAAAAWWWNNNN!" He looked over at her, and sat back in my lap with his hands laying on my arms in his lap. She had gotten his attention. Each time she would make a big sound or move her arms like she was stretching, he would start to smile and then he would look back at me. It was like he was saying "MOM, Did you SEE that?!" but at the same time needing to be reassured that he could like what she was doing. It was TOO cute!! After the bear yawning book she moved onto an animal sound book and you know he loved that. The cutest part was always that once he started to smile he would always look back at me.
We also sang some songs like Itsy Bitsy Spider (however she sang the Eensy Weensy Spider) and the Wheels on the Bus. Again he loved it. She could very well have been tone deaf, but he loved it.
But of course he's 15 months and can only sit still for so long. He saw some of the other kids running around and decided to join in the fun. The lady decided that we needed to do a "parade" so all the kids walked/ran around the tables in the room. Handsome did not see the point in this, and frankly neither did I. He instead went straight for the laptop one of the older siblings had brought.
After about 30 min the lady decided that no one had the attention span anymore so she ended it. It was fine because really, they didn't have the attention span. I loved the small time that we had though because for as long as Handsome had that attention span, it was priceless.
Oh and the bedtime story that I read to Handsome every night? He has started repeating the one part that says "dirt dug burrow" after I say it. Yay! The child needs to start copying stuff. He just doesn't seem to want to copy anything we say even though I'm pretty sure he could if he wanted to. He may very well end up to be a very independent little guy. I'm very proud of his "duh duh duh" after I say "dirt dug burrow" though. Again, the small things.
We got there after they had already started, but I swear they started early and we were on time. We squeezed between all the kids and mommies and sat next to one of our friends. I sat on the floor and put Handsome in my lap. The woman reading the book was very animated. She changed her voices and waved her arms, and Handsome thrived on it.
He started out sitting very seriously. He looked around the room and first noticed the huge stuffed gorilla in front of us. He pointed and looked back at me. I told him it was a gorilla and tried to redirect his attention to the storyteller. And then she said something along the lines of "And the bear gave a big YAAAAWWWNNNN!" He looked over at her, and sat back in my lap with his hands laying on my arms in his lap. She had gotten his attention. Each time she would make a big sound or move her arms like she was stretching, he would start to smile and then he would look back at me. It was like he was saying "MOM, Did you SEE that?!" but at the same time needing to be reassured that he could like what she was doing. It was TOO cute!! After the bear yawning book she moved onto an animal sound book and you know he loved that. The cutest part was always that once he started to smile he would always look back at me.
We also sang some songs like Itsy Bitsy Spider (however she sang the Eensy Weensy Spider) and the Wheels on the Bus. Again he loved it. She could very well have been tone deaf, but he loved it.
But of course he's 15 months and can only sit still for so long. He saw some of the other kids running around and decided to join in the fun. The lady decided that we needed to do a "parade" so all the kids walked/ran around the tables in the room. Handsome did not see the point in this, and frankly neither did I. He instead went straight for the laptop one of the older siblings had brought.
After about 30 min the lady decided that no one had the attention span anymore so she ended it. It was fine because really, they didn't have the attention span. I loved the small time that we had though because for as long as Handsome had that attention span, it was priceless.
Oh and the bedtime story that I read to Handsome every night? He has started repeating the one part that says "dirt dug burrow" after I say it. Yay! The child needs to start copying stuff. He just doesn't seem to want to copy anything we say even though I'm pretty sure he could if he wanted to. He may very well end up to be a very independent little guy. I'm very proud of his "duh duh duh" after I say "dirt dug burrow" though. Again, the small things.
Monday, August 18, 2008
I talk funny.
Apparently no one can understand me. My son's name is common. Very common. In the top 20 boys names. And yet when I tell people his name, I always get a confused look. "What?" they say. I repeat and then they say what they think I said. I get all sorts of variations that sound NOTHING like his name.
Apparently I talk funny. I didn't think I did. I thought I had a normal, bland American accent. Even if I had a Texan accent, I still live in a southern state, so people should understand.
Really. His name is common. Why is it so hard?
But it must just be me. Even when I give people my name, I get all sorts of variations. Again, my name is common. Not as common as my son, but it was featured on a prime time sitcom. That should mean they will all know it, but no. You would not believe how many variations of my name exist. I usually just give up and say yes. I claim all variations on my name. If it sounds like my name, I'll answer. Even the expletives that are similar? I'll answer.
At least my last name changed when I got married. People would alter my last name and think it was my first name. Yes. First alter. Then change positions.
Of course my new last name causes it's own confusion. Apparently when I say "o" people think I said "l" Seriously. Do those even remotely sound alike?? And a consonant in the place of a vowel makes no sense at all, so why would that be your first guess??
Apparently I talk funny. I didn't think I did. I thought I had a normal, bland American accent. Even if I had a Texan accent, I still live in a southern state, so people should understand.
Really. His name is common. Why is it so hard?
But it must just be me. Even when I give people my name, I get all sorts of variations. Again, my name is common. Not as common as my son, but it was featured on a prime time sitcom. That should mean they will all know it, but no. You would not believe how many variations of my name exist. I usually just give up and say yes. I claim all variations on my name. If it sounds like my name, I'll answer. Even the expletives that are similar? I'll answer.
At least my last name changed when I got married. People would alter my last name and think it was my first name. Yes. First alter. Then change positions.
Of course my new last name causes it's own confusion. Apparently when I say "o" people think I said "l" Seriously. Do those even remotely sound alike?? And a consonant in the place of a vowel makes no sense at all, so why would that be your first guess??
Friday, August 15, 2008
Pink Highlighter
I decided to use my pink highlighter at work today and it made me happy.
Sometimes it's the small things.
Sometimes it's the small things.
Monday, August 11, 2008
To bed without nursing
Well, I finally did it. I put Handsome to bed without nursing him last night. Talk about ripping your heart out. It's like finally cutting the cord. I wasn't ready, but I know Handsome was. My milk was there and he just didn't want it. I supposed every step is going to hurt this much. Each time he grows up and takes another step towards independence it's going to tug at my heart.
I can't promise I won't have a relapse tonight and try to nurse him again, but the one night is a step in the right direction. Actually, I won't try again. My milk really should be gone by now.
Yesterday, August 10, 2008 was the last day of nursing for Handsome and me.
I can't promise I won't have a relapse tonight and try to nurse him again, but the one night is a step in the right direction. Actually, I won't try again. My milk really should be gone by now.
Yesterday, August 10, 2008 was the last day of nursing for Handsome and me.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Sleeping Beauty
or Sleeping Handsome. Today Handsome fell asleep in the car after a 10 min drive home from Target. I went to get him out of his car seat and he stayed asleep and just put his head on my shoulder. I LOVE that! I have always seen other children do this, but Handsome always wakes up when I pick him up. He stayed asleep all the way up the flight upstairs to lay down in his crib. I hope this trend continues. I love the feeling of a sleeping child on my arm with his little head on my shoulder. Love it.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
15 Months Old
Today Handsome is 15 months old. I can't believe how fast time flies after having a child.
He seems to be growing like he's making up for lost time. I bought a bunch of 12 month sleepers a few months ago and they were big on him. I thought they would last for a long time, but last night I could hardly get his arms in one of them. Hopefully the doctor will confirm he's finally back on the growth chart instead of way below 0%.
Handsome turning 15 months also marks an entire year that I've been back to work. It's been a year that I've had to leave my son and sit at my desk 40 hours a week. That part has not gone quickly. It felt like a year after the first day was over. I love every minute with my son and dread every minute apart.
This morning Handsome found the corner where the satellite cable comes in. He went over to play with it and I told him no. He quickly took his hand off and then looked back at me smiling. He tried again with the same result. Then he sat down facing me and playing with a nearby toy. When he thought I wasn't looking he started reaching his hand to his side and behind. I told him no before he got there and he again quickly took his hand away and was very surprised that I had caught him. He had been watching my face to see if I was looking at him. Of course I now have the eyes on the back and side of my head as mothers come complete with at the birth of their child. Of course he has to try again and as I see the arm going up to his side I tell him no (Really it's a sound more like "eh!") and of course now he thinks this is hilarious and intriguing. He tried a couple more times until he got bored of the game and found something else to do.
He seems to be growing like he's making up for lost time. I bought a bunch of 12 month sleepers a few months ago and they were big on him. I thought they would last for a long time, but last night I could hardly get his arms in one of them. Hopefully the doctor will confirm he's finally back on the growth chart instead of way below 0%.
Handsome turning 15 months also marks an entire year that I've been back to work. It's been a year that I've had to leave my son and sit at my desk 40 hours a week. That part has not gone quickly. It felt like a year after the first day was over. I love every minute with my son and dread every minute apart.
This morning Handsome found the corner where the satellite cable comes in. He went over to play with it and I told him no. He quickly took his hand off and then looked back at me smiling. He tried again with the same result. Then he sat down facing me and playing with a nearby toy. When he thought I wasn't looking he started reaching his hand to his side and behind. I told him no before he got there and he again quickly took his hand away and was very surprised that I had caught him. He had been watching my face to see if I was looking at him. Of course I now have the eyes on the back and side of my head as mothers come complete with at the birth of their child. Of course he has to try again and as I see the arm going up to his side I tell him no (Really it's a sound more like "eh!") and of course now he thinks this is hilarious and intriguing. He tried a couple more times until he got bored of the game and found something else to do.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
All dried up
I tried to nurse Handsome the past couple nights. He latches on after I suggest, but he doesn't stay long. I don't think he gets any actual milk from me. He doesn't want it. A week or so ago after he let go I checked to see if I could get any milk out and I did. It was there. He just didn't want it.
Around midnight last night he started crying in his crib. He hasn't woken up in the middle of the night since he was around 12 months old. I haven't had to try to get him back to sleep without being able to just nurse him to sleep. Luckily he put himself back to sleep pretty quickly. I'm not sure what I would have done if I had to go into his room.
And from what I hear this is National Breastfeeding Week. What are the odds? The week that I really think we're done is the week that the world is celebrating breastfeeding. I'm celebrating with you - I promise. I think breastfeeding is beautiful. I'm just bitter because my journey didn't last as long as I had anticipated.
And sorry for my bitter week. AF started after 21 days. Seriously. I can't get a break.
Around midnight last night he started crying in his crib. He hasn't woken up in the middle of the night since he was around 12 months old. I haven't had to try to get him back to sleep without being able to just nurse him to sleep. Luckily he put himself back to sleep pretty quickly. I'm not sure what I would have done if I had to go into his room.
And from what I hear this is National Breastfeeding Week. What are the odds? The week that I really think we're done is the week that the world is celebrating breastfeeding. I'm celebrating with you - I promise. I think breastfeeding is beautiful. I'm just bitter because my journey didn't last as long as I had anticipated.
And sorry for my bitter week. AF started after 21 days. Seriously. I can't get a break.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
I'm a salmon.
You know those pictures on the discovery channels where the fish swim upstream? Where you see them jump out of the water and flail around before they fall back in the water and try again? Not only are they going against the stream they are typically also going up - as would make sense since water would flow downward. They exert so much energy going against the stream. I'm sure if they could complain they would. You would hear a bunch of mumbling until they jumped out of the water and then you'd here things like:
"Come on!"
"I think I can, I think I can."
"****ing gravity!"
"Man, out of my way!"
"PLEASE!"
"Just let me get a few inches!"
"Crap!"
"What did I do to deserve this?"
"This is the LAST time!"
"But Bob made it!"
You know they are tired and frustrated. You know they are stubborn. You know they would cry if they could - at least the female ones. You know they are cursing last night's thunderstorm that made the current stronger.
Well, that's me. I'm swimming upstream. I'm the salmon. I know the struggle and the determination. I know the exhaustion.
I'd like to sit this one out. I'd like for someone to come and hold me and carry me where I need to go. I'd like to hide my face in someones shoulder and shield myself from seeing the pain and the struggle that goes on around me.
I keep thinking if I can make it through this one day, this one month, then the next will bring relief. If I can climb one more hill, jump one more hurdle, then I will be on solid ground where I can sit and watch the beauty of the world.
And yet everyday seems to bring a new difficulty. I fix one issue and another arises. I think I settle an issue and then it turns out I was only fooling myself.
I'm the salmon. I want an inner tube and a hat so I can ride downstream and laugh at the rest of the school of fish going upstream.
"Come on!"
"I think I can, I think I can."
"****ing gravity!"
"Man, out of my way!"
"PLEASE!"
"Just let me get a few inches!"
"Crap!"
"What did I do to deserve this?"
"This is the LAST time!"
"But Bob made it!"
You know they are tired and frustrated. You know they are stubborn. You know they would cry if they could - at least the female ones. You know they are cursing last night's thunderstorm that made the current stronger.
Well, that's me. I'm swimming upstream. I'm the salmon. I know the struggle and the determination. I know the exhaustion.
I'd like to sit this one out. I'd like for someone to come and hold me and carry me where I need to go. I'd like to hide my face in someones shoulder and shield myself from seeing the pain and the struggle that goes on around me.
I keep thinking if I can make it through this one day, this one month, then the next will bring relief. If I can climb one more hill, jump one more hurdle, then I will be on solid ground where I can sit and watch the beauty of the world.
And yet everyday seems to bring a new difficulty. I fix one issue and another arises. I think I settle an issue and then it turns out I was only fooling myself.
I'm the salmon. I want an inner tube and a hat so I can ride downstream and laugh at the rest of the school of fish going upstream.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Political Ads
You know what bugs me the most about Political Ads?? The fact that people base their votes on them. The fact that one person can put out a 30 second comercial and thousands of people will switch their votes based solely on a commercial. Didn't they listen back in school when the teacher taught about propaganda and how people can stretch the truth, purposefully leave out important tidbits of information, and warp the truth?
Pthupthil
Handsome is taking a new step in his learning speech journey. Over the weekend he has started putting more syllables and different sounds together. Instead of the "babababa," "mamamama," "gogogogo," "gagaga," he has started things like "pthuphilupago." He spits all sorts of sounds out there and looks to see if you understand. He always smiles when he finishes like he has accomplished a great feat.
We're getting closer.
We're getting closer.
Peeked through the door
This morning I left without breastfeeding again. This weekend I breastfed in the morning and before he went to bed, but I don't think he actually got anything either time. He's uninterested.
I did peek through his door this morning though. I wanted to see him before I left for work. He was sleeping very contently in his blue shark pajamas.
I did peek through his door this morning though. I wanted to see him before I left for work. He was sleeping very contently in his blue shark pajamas.
Friday, August 1, 2008
No more milk
Well, I did it. This morning I left for work without breastfeeding Handsome first. I don't have much of a supply left and I didn't want him to end up waking up and DH having to deal with him. So I left. I didn't get to see my baby before I went to work. I swear it was so difficult to leave the house this morning. I know he's basically done and it's just me holding on. Even though he still feeds right before bed and in the morning, he doesn't feed for very long and doesn't seem to get hardly anything. I think he's just placating me to still feed anyway.
I'll feed him tonight and this weekend in the morning as well. I'm not completely done. I don't want to take it away if he still wants it. I kinda feel like feeding this sporadically will mean my supply is done. We are almost at 15 months. It's not the 24 that I was shooting for, but it's more than 12 or 6 or... well, you get the point. At least we made it this far.
DH said the other day that I wasn't trying. He thinks that since I stopped pumping at work I gave up before Handsome was ready. You don't know how bad this makes me feel. I stopped pumping mostly because I was only getting an ounce for the entire day I was at work. I figured after going over a year my supply should be established enough. Plus you would not believe how much easier my job became when I had that extra uninterrupted time. That pumping was killing my production at work. And since my job is our only income it's kinda important. I know, that's an excuse, but it's a good one right?
What makes me feel the worst is that I feel like I didn't do as good as everyone else in my family and DH's family. My mother said she stopped breastfeeding me just after a year because I just lost interest. My brother though breastfed until he was near 3 years old. And of course all of DH's family breastfeeds. They don't have a choice - they can't pay for formula. They breastfeed until around 3 years as well.
And then there's me. I couldn't even make it to a year and a half. My excuse is always that I have to work. I would REALLY like to stay at home with Handsome, but if I quit work and DH worked, we would be destined to always be completely poor. We couldn't afford to see my family and could never afford to see DHs family. If we can make it until Jan 2010 we should be on a better track. DH should have his RN, Handsome will be 2 1/2, and I might be able to switch to part time or working from home. After he is established - he wants to continue all the way to bachelor's and master's but that will be while he is working - then I may decide at that point that we can move somewhere where we can live off of his salary alone. We will still be poor, but much better than what it would be if he just got a job now without a degree.
Why does life have to be so hard??
I'll feed him tonight and this weekend in the morning as well. I'm not completely done. I don't want to take it away if he still wants it. I kinda feel like feeding this sporadically will mean my supply is done. We are almost at 15 months. It's not the 24 that I was shooting for, but it's more than 12 or 6 or... well, you get the point. At least we made it this far.
DH said the other day that I wasn't trying. He thinks that since I stopped pumping at work I gave up before Handsome was ready. You don't know how bad this makes me feel. I stopped pumping mostly because I was only getting an ounce for the entire day I was at work. I figured after going over a year my supply should be established enough. Plus you would not believe how much easier my job became when I had that extra uninterrupted time. That pumping was killing my production at work. And since my job is our only income it's kinda important. I know, that's an excuse, but it's a good one right?
What makes me feel the worst is that I feel like I didn't do as good as everyone else in my family and DH's family. My mother said she stopped breastfeeding me just after a year because I just lost interest. My brother though breastfed until he was near 3 years old. And of course all of DH's family breastfeeds. They don't have a choice - they can't pay for formula. They breastfeed until around 3 years as well.
And then there's me. I couldn't even make it to a year and a half. My excuse is always that I have to work. I would REALLY like to stay at home with Handsome, but if I quit work and DH worked, we would be destined to always be completely poor. We couldn't afford to see my family and could never afford to see DHs family. If we can make it until Jan 2010 we should be on a better track. DH should have his RN, Handsome will be 2 1/2, and I might be able to switch to part time or working from home. After he is established - he wants to continue all the way to bachelor's and master's but that will be while he is working - then I may decide at that point that we can move somewhere where we can live off of his salary alone. We will still be poor, but much better than what it would be if he just got a job now without a degree.
Why does life have to be so hard??
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