SAHM vs WOHM

Disclaimer: I'm probably going to make people angry with this post. Sorry.

It's the never ending battle: Stay At Home Moms vs. Working Moms

This battle makes me so angry. I understand why this battle is so emotional. This involves the raising of people's children. Everyone is trying to do their best and feels like they have weighed all the options and come to the best decision. When a mother is told they are doing the wrong thing and causing their child harm of course they are going to get irate! So why to mothers keep doing this to each other?!

I ask this question like I don't know the answer, but I know. I have my opinions too.

My heart's greatest desire is to stay at home with my son. I am working right now so that someday I will be able to.

But here's where my frustration enters the picture. Women who share my view that I should stay at home with my son are telling me that "if I really wanted to stay home" I would find a way. That I would make sacrifices to be able to stay at home. I get so angry when I hear comments like that. Not that I need to explain myself, but I am working full time right now to put my husband through school so that in three or four years I can stay home and he can go to work. My son stays at home with my husband in the interim.

The thing is, I don't want to have to explain myself. I shouldn't have to explain myself.

I hate when I see meetings that are for stay at home moms that discuss all the reasons that mothers need to stay at home. I understand stay at home moms get bombarded by comments saying that they don't need to stay at home and they need support within themselves, but really, do they really need meetings like that?

I also sympathize with the mothers that work. I believe that every woman is different. Some women aren't made to stay at home all day. Some women need to have the independence that a job gives. They need to challenges that only a job can provide and the social interaction. Some women aren't cut out for reading Goodnight Moon all day and night. And as the saying goes, if mom isn't happy, no one is happy.

I seriously need to find a group of mothers in my area to socialize with. I need to find mothers with children Handsome's age so that he can socialize and eventually learn to share. But I can't find a group. If I find a group of mothers that work all the time then they will be badmouthing the stay at home mothers. I want to be a stay at home mother, so they would in fact be insulting me and what I believe in. I can't hang out with the stay at home mothers because they would look down on me for going to work everyday. So where do I fit in? Is there such a thing as a group of women who don't badmouth the other group?

It's so frustrating.