Ice

You knew it was bound to happen. Last night Handsome slept through the night. Yay! My alarm went off this morning and I was actually refreshed because I got to sleep seven hours straight!

And THEN do you know what happened? There is freezing rain outside and my street is a thin layer of ice. Complete ice. I stepped out the door just to see what it was like and decided not to walk all the way to my car because I would slip and fall off the stairs on the way. My work is on unscheduled leave because of this. I don't really have the leave to use, but those roads are horrible. It's not like snow where there is a little bit of traction - it's complete ice.

So now that I'm well rested and ready to face a full day of work I am going to go back to bed and sleep again. I may work from home in a few hours. Hey, you can't waste sleep completely if the opportunity for it is given.

Nine Month Check Up

Handsome had his nine month check up today. He had only gained half a pound since the last time we went and is in the 10th percentile for weight. He grew one inch and is now in the 10th percentile for height as well. His head remains steady in the 75% percentile. So he's skinny and short with a big head. I'll just say he's going to be very smart when he grows up. :)

Everything else was fine. He's healthy and good. Yay! She said to get him to start sleeping through the night again I should start nursing him a little bit less each time he wakes up. That way he'll get used to eating less in the middle of the night and be able to sleep without a full belly. Hmm. I guess it's worth a try.

Holy Guacamole

I made guacamole tonight complete with onions, red hot pepper and garlic. It was oh so yummy. We let Handsome try it and oh my goodness, Handsome has a new favorite food. He LOVES him some guacamole. He would cry if I stopped feeding him. DH and I love our hot pepper so the guacamole was definitely not on the mild side, so even little Handsome seems to like his spices. This was probably the first spiced food that he has gotten and he couldn't seem to get enough. I used about five avocados and thought I had made way too much, but it was gone before I knew it.

Handsome's poor little forehead still has the big bruise from about two days ago. It still doesn't bother him, but it's so big and noticeable. He's still climbing on everything like nothing happened. Does anyone ever fear that their child is TOO trusting? He climbs and leans and lurches just assuming that someone will catch him.

Handsome seems to have made it through my cold/flu without getting sick - knock on wood. Let's hope that it stays that way. He said Mama again today. Yay! He's getting good at his German too "nine, nine, nine."

Go Obama!

Well, on Sunday we went to an Obama town hall meeting. I know I'm late posting on this. I've been sick and just behind on everything.

First we stood in line outside for about an hour. The line went really far down the street and it was cold and windy. Not anticipating having to stand out in the cold, I left Handsome's hat in the car. A very nice lady in the line right behind us let us borrow her son's hat. He was a grown man, but if you folded the hat back a few times the hat fit just fine. I was happy to see many other children in line waiting and felt much less out of place.

When we got inside we had to sit at the top of the bleachers in the highschool auditorium. Boo. We were fairly close to the front of the line, but they were filling up each section in order and we just happened to be in the spot in line that we got the back of the section. Boo. So I trecked up all those stairs with Handsome safely in my Mei Tai. I held onto those railings as if my life depended upon it.

As soon as we got our seats, I fed Handsome so that he could make it through the whole thing. He did really well!! He was flirting with everyone around us talking and laughing and smiling. I was afraid that all the racket from people cheering would scare him, but it seemed to just make him excited. He even fell asleep at one point with his body on my lap and his head on Bitter's lap.

So, why Obama? Well, I have many reasons. Some pertain to the major political reasons, and some are personal. For the personal reasons, Obama is mixed. His mother is a white woman from the midwest and his father is African. I want my son to have someone to look up to. Someday I'd like to be able to say, look at this man - Obama. He had a mother similar to yours, and a father similar to yours and he beat all odds and became the President of the United States! You can do whatever your heart desires!

The other reasons are the political sorts. I wouldn't classify myself as a Democrat, but I tend to be leaning that way right now. I think our nation needs to get a Democrat in office to veer off it's current path. I kinda like the system where there's a Democrat for 8 years and then a Republican for 8 years. Power in the hands of the same group of people becomes corrupt - no matter what group it is.

And as for Obama over Hillary, I think Hillary is too polarizing and right now that is the opposite of what our nation needs. I do think that Obama needs more experience than he currently has, but there is no such thing as a perfect candidate.

So that's my political schpeel. I never used to care much about politics until I moved overseas and saw how important it really is. The amazing thing is that our country is so apathetic that really anyone who has any sort of activism in it can have a great deal of pull.

Anyway, I need sleep.

At the breaking point

Seriously, I'm at the breaking point. I am beyond stressed and it is wearing me down. I feel like all the pressure is on me. My husband is wonderful, my son is wonderful, my friends are great, my family is even great right now, and yet I am not doing well. I feel so much pressure from work and leaving home to go to work. I am at the point where I'm so stressed that I can hardly think straight anymore.

In college I had one semester that I just gave up. I dropped everything except Mythology cause that class was like going to storytelling twice a week. The only thing that saved me was leaving for a semester to work. After that semester I was able to de-stress and come back and bear it until I graduated. Then I escaped to the Peace Corps.

Now I'm working in a desk job and I'm miserable. I keep trying to dodge that fact. I like the people that I work with and I like the flexibility of my job, but it's just not the place for me. I don't fit here. In all honesty I am in completely the wrong career. Yes, I have the logic mind of an engineer and I can do all of this, but I don't fit this mold. I want to be at home with my boy.

Can I make it for at least three and a half more years? It seems like forever. I have to work so that my family has money to put food on the table. My husband can't work until he graduates and even then I don't know how much he'll make. I may have to continue working even then.

Maybe I should get my master's in education. I feel like I'd be able to make more of a difference there. I was once told by a career testing person that I should never be a teacher. She did all these tests on me and then sat me down to tell me what I should be when I grow up - I was 17. Before she said anything else, she said, "Never be a teacher." She said I was too much of a perfectionist for it. She also told me that I should never be an engineer. ... Hmm. ... She told me that my ideal job would be something along the lines of being a Pediatrician. She said I should choose something to do with working with children because she thought I had "that" personality. She also mentioned something about being a surgeon for children or infants. My response, "No thank you." So basically she wanted me to be a doctor for children. Great, but I can't go through that much education. Being a doctor means memorizing a lot and I'm not good with memorization. If you want me to reason through something or apply a mathematical formula, I'm all about that, but memorization? No. The only test I ever cheated on in school was in elementary school where we had a timed multiplication test. I just couldn't memorize my multiplication table. I still don't have that thing memorized. I have a minor in mathematics and a degree in electrical engineering and I still count on my fingers for small multiplication questions.

So what do I do with my life? Do I waste away at my current job? For now I have to. There has to be something better than this.

I feel a breakdown coming on.

He talks... kinda.

Handsome plays this game now. He'll kinda grunt at you, and then you grunt back. This game continues until he starts laughing. And then it starts all over again. It's so cute.

He's also slowly starting to get restless. Before you could just hold him in your lap and he'd sit there for quite a long time very content. If you put him down he'd start crawling and playing, but he would be very quiet if he just sat in your lap. Now not so much.

You know why this stinks? He is just starting this when I want to go to a political town hall meeting. I want him to go and sit in my lap, but what if his new found mobility and desire to be constantly moving prevents him from being able to sit with me?? I'm going to be SO dissapointed if he won't sit there or if he starts making a bunch of noise. Please Lord let him be content to just sit for a little while!! I actually want to ask a question at the meeting if I can. I want to ask about maternity leave. I don't understand why we are one in three nations that has no provisions for a paid maternity leave. I think it's disgraceful. Anyway, it was hella difficult to get these tickets and if Handsome decides that we can't sit there.. Grr. Please, Handsome, let us go to this meeting and sit through the whole thing!! If only this meeting could have been about four months ago!!

Walking with Mommy's hands

We are getting so close to walking!! Previously if I wanted him to walk while I was holding onto his hands he would have to kinda be tilted to the side to kinda lose his footing and move. Last night I was just holding him up to make him stand and he started walking towards me! Granted I was still holding onto his hands, but minus that it was walking! He has figured out exactly how to put one foot in front of the other to get where he wants to go. There was actually one time that I kinda want to call his first step, but I'm a little hesitant. He climbed up on DH who was lying on his side and then stood up and stepped towards me so that I would hold him. But between him standing up on DH and getting to my hand he was all on his own. So he kinda took his first step yesterday.

He looks so grown up when he walks like that!!

When I came home last night he saw me and started squealing and crawling like speedracer to get to me. There was a gate in the way, but he got to that gate faster than I've ever seen him move. Too cute!