One more day until I can nurse Handsome. Last night I gave him a bottle for the first time. I've been refusing to give him a bottle because I don't want him to associate the bottle with me because I'm supposed to be the one who nurses him. But when last night came and it was time to put him to bed I didn't want to miss our time together again so I broke down and gave him the bottle. I was glad to be able to feed him again and it was close to restoring our bond, but it's not the same as nursing him.
I had originally planned to start nursing Handsome again on Friday morning when he wakes up, but now I want to start tonight. I took the medicine on Monday evening so tonight would be three days. The oral medication equivalent of what I took takes five to six days to leave your system and I took the topical version. The LLL teacher of the group that I go to looked up the medication that I took and it was rated as a risk of 2 (with 1 being safe and 5 being unsafe). I guess I will wait until Friday morning, but what I miss most is the feeding right before I put Handsome to bed. It just seems like there is such an intimacy with that feeding. He is calm and tired and trusting. When I finish feeding him and lift him up to burp him, he lays his head down right next to my neck and sucks his thumb. If I could let him sleep like that all night I would.
Either way, I get to feed him tomorrow morning. Yay!
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