Wednesday, June 25, 2008

One of those days

Do you ever have one of those days? One of those days where you just can't do anything right. Where no matter what you do, you fail. Well, I've had one of those weeks - or months.

I feel like I'm failing. I feel like each day just gets worse than the day before. I keep trying to make things better and it never works. I am a perfectionist and I'm not used to getting things wrong. And now I keep getting things wrong and I don't know what I'm doing to make this happen. And more than the tasks that I'm messing up, I'm messing up with people. I've never been Miss Popularity, but I've also never had people that outright didn't like me. I've always been friends with everyone around but instead of following the crowd I'm a bit of a loner. And now I have someone in my life that just seems to be out to get me. I don't understand this. I don't know what I did to make him upset. I don't know how to fix it.

I have two people that are completely dependent upon me and I feel like I am failing them. I should be able to handle everything and I am fumbling. I only have to do this for two years and yet I just don't know if I am capable.

I feel like I want to just run away. I want to move to a tiny house in the middle of nowhere and farm my own food so that I don't have to worry about bringing money home.

Everything feels impossible.

2 comments:

Hf said...

:::hugs::: I hope you feel better soon. You are a good wife and mother and friend.

Brandy said...

I think every mom feels this way sometimes. You're doing a great job even if it doesn't seem like it. I don't know why this other person is being a brat, but you are not failing your family. It'll get better. [[HUGS]]