Ick. I hate the discipline part of parenting. I know I need to discipline, and I will, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.
DH has his way of disciplining and I have my way.
DH is what I would call old fashioned. If Handsome does something wrong, he will yell at him, tell him what he did wrong, and spank. Then there will be a staring contest. DH doesn't spank hard, so it doesn't actually hurt. As a result, Handsome will look at your face to see if you meant to punish or if you were just playing with him. If you start to laugh he will laugh like nothing happened, and continue playing. If you remain with a straight face so he knows you are serious he will start to cry and know he did something wrong.
For me, I warn "Handsome, don't pour milk on the table. If you do again then I will take the milk away." He'll look at me, sometimes sad, and sometimes with a smirk, and then he'll continue what he was doing. I then take the milk away. Sometimes he is sad and sometimes he doesn't really care and he'll just go pick something else to play with.
For a while I tried to do the staring thing that DH does. I can't do it. I see his little face and I just have to smile. His little pouty face is so cute, and when he has that little smirk how can you not laugh? Well, laughing defeats the whole discipline purpose. I always lose the staring contests and DH chides me for this. Oops.
Today I decided to start the whole time out thing. Handsome poured his milk on the table - A LOT of milk. So I told him he wasn't supposed to do that and then sat him down in a corner while I went to get paper towels. He tried to get up a few times, and I just put him right back. He cried his little heart out, but I managed to remain strong. Once he sat still I cleaned up the milk and then went to sit next to him. I told him he wasn't supposed to put milk on the table, and then told him I loved him and held him. As soon as I was holding him he was ok again. He had the little tears on his cheeks, but he was ok. After that he didn't want me to let him go, so he sat with me on the couch for a little while. He probably didn't cry for more than 30 sec - 1 min, but it was enough to be effective. I know he's supposed to sit still for an entire minute, but I figured since it was the first time I would give him some slack.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Baby Kisses
I love baby kisses. As I've mentioned before, Handsome has never been a kissy baby. We kiss him all the time, but he doesn't really care much about it. If you put your face out there and say, "Can I have a kiss?" he'll laugh and run away. It's funny, so I still do it.
But today? Today I got baby kisses. I love them! I put my face out there and asked for a kiss and he actually came to me and gave me a kiss! And then he repeatedly came back to me and stuck out his face asking for kisses! I love it! He hasn't gotten the concept of closing his mouth though, so I get open mouthed slobbery kisses. I secretly wipe my mouth when he walks away, but I still love my little kisses. I'd give you the number of kisses, but they were so many I couldn't count. Sweet baby kisses.
But today? Today I got baby kisses. I love them! I put my face out there and asked for a kiss and he actually came to me and gave me a kiss! And then he repeatedly came back to me and stuck out his face asking for kisses! I love it! He hasn't gotten the concept of closing his mouth though, so I get open mouthed slobbery kisses. I secretly wipe my mouth when he walks away, but I still love my little kisses. I'd give you the number of kisses, but they were so many I couldn't count. Sweet baby kisses.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
No girls
DH told me last night he hopes he never gets a daughter. I have to admit I stopped breathing for a minute. No girls?? I want at least one little girl. He sounded pretty serious when he said it too. It came completely out of the blue as we were watching the Democratic National Convention after Handsome had gone to bed.
I asked him what he had said to make sure I actually heard him right. "Why?" He said it's because if he has a girl he will always be worried. He will worry about her being hurt by men. He doesn't want to have to worry about some man abusing her physically or emotionally. He doesn't want to think that someone would hurt his little girl. He said there are too many bad men out there.
Did I mention I love my DH?
I asked him what he had said to make sure I actually heard him right. "Why?" He said it's because if he has a girl he will always be worried. He will worry about her being hurt by men. He doesn't want to have to worry about some man abusing her physically or emotionally. He doesn't want to think that someone would hurt his little girl. He said there are too many bad men out there.
Did I mention I love my DH?
Maybe I'll drink the milk?
So yesterday was day two of the switching milk from the bottle to the sippy cup.
DH has the typical guy way of doing things, "He'll do this or else." I try to opt for the more subtle sneaky ways of convincing, and DH just outright says things must be done. I'm thinking this might help us later on because if one of us can't communicate clearly with Handsome the other one must be able to.
So yesterday afternoon Handsome woke up from his nap and DH took him outside to play. He didn't give him any food or water in hopes that when he got back inside DH could hand him the sippy cup full of milk and Handsome would have no choice but to drink.
They played outside for about an hour and then I got home so they came inside. DH handed Handsome the sippy cup, but Handsome knew what was up. No drinking milk from the sippy cup. He played and kept trying to give the sippy cup back. DH would try to put it in his mouth and Handsome would squirm his way out of DH's hands. He was tired and hungry, you could tell from his almost lethargic movements, but he would not give in.
I couldn't take it anymore so I made food and brought the water sippy cup to Handsome. At first he wouldn't even take the water because he was unsure whether it had milk or not.
We sat down on the kitchen floor with the milk close by and the water way over by DH. He ate for a little bit and then got thirsty. Did he take the closest sippy cup? Of course not. He walked all the way over to DH and got the water. He chugged for a while and then came back to eat more. He sat back down in my lap where now both the water and milk sat in his lap. He ate a little more and then a miracle happened. He drank the water... and then... when he thought no one was looking... he took a tiny little sip of the milk. Immediately it was followed up with water because you never know what that sippy cup milk could contain right? But then he tried the milk again... a little longer sip this time.
I tried to get DH's attention, but he was looking the opposite direction. I finally got his attention, but by that point, Handsome had been distracted and he got up to play. Boo.
But the stubborn streak had been broken. I'm not sure if it was the forcing initially, or the sneaky mix of water and milk sippy cups. Most likely it was because he finally just got curious. It was something new and he was unsure. It took a little while to get used to it, but he got there.
After his dinner was finished he would occasionally walk over to the milk and just try it. Never big sips. He just wanted to test it. To make sure it was safe. To make sure it was still there. To make sure it hadn't miraculously changed back into water.
And when he was tired and it was time to go to bed, I was holding him and gave him the milk sippy cup, and he drank. It wasn't the typical devouring of bottled milk; it was more a resigned, "I'm so tired, and I don't have the energy to resist any more. I do like milk, and I have no control over what container it comes in. Please just let me sleep."
So we are closer. I don't think he is going to resist for too much longer. Tomorrow could be a renewed energy to fight the milk sippy cup, but I think he's already accepted that the bottle is no more. This will make church more difficult, but oh well. People would have started giving me the evil eye for giving him a bottle anyway.
DH has the typical guy way of doing things, "He'll do this or else." I try to opt for the more subtle sneaky ways of convincing, and DH just outright says things must be done. I'm thinking this might help us later on because if one of us can't communicate clearly with Handsome the other one must be able to.
So yesterday afternoon Handsome woke up from his nap and DH took him outside to play. He didn't give him any food or water in hopes that when he got back inside DH could hand him the sippy cup full of milk and Handsome would have no choice but to drink.
They played outside for about an hour and then I got home so they came inside. DH handed Handsome the sippy cup, but Handsome knew what was up. No drinking milk from the sippy cup. He played and kept trying to give the sippy cup back. DH would try to put it in his mouth and Handsome would squirm his way out of DH's hands. He was tired and hungry, you could tell from his almost lethargic movements, but he would not give in.
I couldn't take it anymore so I made food and brought the water sippy cup to Handsome. At first he wouldn't even take the water because he was unsure whether it had milk or not.
We sat down on the kitchen floor with the milk close by and the water way over by DH. He ate for a little bit and then got thirsty. Did he take the closest sippy cup? Of course not. He walked all the way over to DH and got the water. He chugged for a while and then came back to eat more. He sat back down in my lap where now both the water and milk sat in his lap. He ate a little more and then a miracle happened. He drank the water... and then... when he thought no one was looking... he took a tiny little sip of the milk. Immediately it was followed up with water because you never know what that sippy cup milk could contain right? But then he tried the milk again... a little longer sip this time.
I tried to get DH's attention, but he was looking the opposite direction. I finally got his attention, but by that point, Handsome had been distracted and he got up to play. Boo.
But the stubborn streak had been broken. I'm not sure if it was the forcing initially, or the sneaky mix of water and milk sippy cups. Most likely it was because he finally just got curious. It was something new and he was unsure. It took a little while to get used to it, but he got there.
After his dinner was finished he would occasionally walk over to the milk and just try it. Never big sips. He just wanted to test it. To make sure it was safe. To make sure it was still there. To make sure it hadn't miraculously changed back into water.
And when he was tired and it was time to go to bed, I was holding him and gave him the milk sippy cup, and he drank. It wasn't the typical devouring of bottled milk; it was more a resigned, "I'm so tired, and I don't have the energy to resist any more. I do like milk, and I have no control over what container it comes in. Please just let me sleep."
So we are closer. I don't think he is going to resist for too much longer. Tomorrow could be a renewed energy to fight the milk sippy cup, but I think he's already accepted that the bottle is no more. This will make church more difficult, but oh well. People would have started giving me the evil eye for giving him a bottle anyway.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Laundry Money
In Ghana, the women wash the family's clothes. If someone forgot and left money in their pockets the women get to keep the money. Fair and square. Finders keepers, losers weepers.
DH does the laundry at our house.
I left $10 in my pocket on Monday.
Crap.
DH does the laundry at our house.
I left $10 in my pocket on Monday.
Crap.
Doctor says no more bottles
So the doctor asked us yesterday if Handsome is still taking a bottle. Yes, for milk. She said no more bottle - adamantly. I don't understand this seemingly ardent battle against bottles and getting children off them so early. I don't get it. If he likes the bottle, he likes the bottle. He doesn't take it in bed. He gets maybe two a day. If he doesn't get them, he's not grumpy, he doesn't care. So really, what's the harm in drinking milk from a bottle every now and then? He's not going to waltz into kindergarten with a bottle tucked into his bag for naptime. He's not going to walk into his first college class and need to quickly take a swig of milk from his bottle to calm himself before class. So really, what's the rush??
And to go even further, why is the sippy cup so much better than the bottle? It is just a different shaped bottle. It's not a cup. It's a bottle with handles.
Nevertheless, the doctor - and the rest of American society - says with a stern look that Handsome is too old to drink from a bottle.
So last night I put a little milk into one of his sippy cups. I sat down on the couch with him and handed him his sippy cup milk. He took the sippy cup quickly and started downing the milk. No time for breathing, he was thirsty. And then he stopped. He looked up at me perplexed and then at his sippy cup. "Mom, this is not water. Sippy cups are for water. Didn't you get the memo?" Ok, he didn't say that, but his eyes are very expressive. He threw the milk sippy cup away like it was contaminated and got down on the floor. I turned away to look at the computer and not two seconds later I heard Handsome say "eh?" heard massive gulping as he downed some sort of liquid and felt him handing something to me. In my head I was thinking, "Yay! He's drinking the milk!"
No. He was not drinking the milk, because if you recall sippy cups are for water. When I turned around I saw Handsome handing me the sippy cup with milk as he was drinking the water from his other sippy cup like he hadn't had water to drink for weeks. He finished gulping and then was breathing heavily to make up for all the time he had been drinking and not breathing. He pushed the milk sippy cup further on my lap and away from him. I'm sure I saw a defiant look hiding in the back of his eyes. He left the milk sippy cup and walked around the living room gulping water until he finished the entire cup of water. Then he brought that sippy cup to me to get more water.
No amount of re-handing the milk sippy cup to him would convince him to drink from it again. He had been fooled once and it wouldn't happen again. I even tried to angle it so that he couldn't see the liquid inside so maybe he would think it had water. Nope. He's a smart little bugger.
He can get his dairy from yogurt. Who needs milk anyway. Stubborn child.
And to go even further, why is the sippy cup so much better than the bottle? It is just a different shaped bottle. It's not a cup. It's a bottle with handles.
Nevertheless, the doctor - and the rest of American society - says with a stern look that Handsome is too old to drink from a bottle.
So last night I put a little milk into one of his sippy cups. I sat down on the couch with him and handed him his sippy cup milk. He took the sippy cup quickly and started downing the milk. No time for breathing, he was thirsty. And then he stopped. He looked up at me perplexed and then at his sippy cup. "Mom, this is not water. Sippy cups are for water. Didn't you get the memo?" Ok, he didn't say that, but his eyes are very expressive. He threw the milk sippy cup away like it was contaminated and got down on the floor. I turned away to look at the computer and not two seconds later I heard Handsome say "eh?" heard massive gulping as he downed some sort of liquid and felt him handing something to me. In my head I was thinking, "Yay! He's drinking the milk!"
No. He was not drinking the milk, because if you recall sippy cups are for water. When I turned around I saw Handsome handing me the sippy cup with milk as he was drinking the water from his other sippy cup like he hadn't had water to drink for weeks. He finished gulping and then was breathing heavily to make up for all the time he had been drinking and not breathing. He pushed the milk sippy cup further on my lap and away from him. I'm sure I saw a defiant look hiding in the back of his eyes. He left the milk sippy cup and walked around the living room gulping water until he finished the entire cup of water. Then he brought that sippy cup to me to get more water.
No amount of re-handing the milk sippy cup to him would convince him to drink from it again. He had been fooled once and it wouldn't happen again. I even tried to angle it so that he couldn't see the liquid inside so maybe he would think it had water. Nope. He's a smart little bugger.
He can get his dairy from yogurt. Who needs milk anyway. Stubborn child.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
15 Month Baby Stats
Handsome went to the doctor for his 15 month check up. These are his stats:
23.12 lbs - 45%
29.5 in - 7%
19.25 in - 90%
You know what those numbers mean? It means he's back on the charts again! Grow, Handsome, grow!
He did really well at the doctor's office. He ran around the waiting room and flirted with everyone there. He even smiled at the nurse and initially at the doctor. When we put him on the scale the nurse gave him one of those tongue sticks with a sticker on the top and it kept him occupied enough so that he didn't cry on the scale. That was the first time he didn't cry.
The Dr. said that overall he was doing well. She said he is doing well with understanding what we say, but delayed in speech. I knew he was going to be delayed speaking, and thought he would be delayed with understanding as well. She also said he was independent. Yes, definitely independent.
I let him get the chickenpox vaccine, but did not get the MMR. She told me all the horrible things that can happen if he isn't vaccinated, but I still didn't get him the vaccination. I will call the county and see if I can get the vaccinations in separate doses. No, I don't think it causes autism, but I do think it might be a contributing factor. Anyhow, I will get him vaccinated, I'm just going to delay it for a little while.
23.12 lbs - 45%
29.5 in - 7%
19.25 in - 90%
You know what those numbers mean? It means he's back on the charts again! Grow, Handsome, grow!
He did really well at the doctor's office. He ran around the waiting room and flirted with everyone there. He even smiled at the nurse and initially at the doctor. When we put him on the scale the nurse gave him one of those tongue sticks with a sticker on the top and it kept him occupied enough so that he didn't cry on the scale. That was the first time he didn't cry.
The Dr. said that overall he was doing well. She said he is doing well with understanding what we say, but delayed in speech. I knew he was going to be delayed speaking, and thought he would be delayed with understanding as well. She also said he was independent. Yes, definitely independent.
I let him get the chickenpox vaccine, but did not get the MMR. She told me all the horrible things that can happen if he isn't vaccinated, but I still didn't get him the vaccination. I will call the county and see if I can get the vaccinations in separate doses. No, I don't think it causes autism, but I do think it might be a contributing factor. Anyhow, I will get him vaccinated, I'm just going to delay it for a little while.
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